Richard Kadrey Quotes

Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child.

~ Richard Kadrey

Fuck you, angel. Fuck you and all God's little prison bitches. He slips you some cigarettes and a con job smile and you run off to do his dirty work for him. Go and scare some sinners. No one's listening to you here.

~ Richard Kadrey

If you ever need to confirm that a girl is worth coming back from Hell for, show her your monster arm and see what she says.

~ Richard Kadrey

The clerk is looking at me. His expression hasn't changed. What I want to do is punch a hole in the front of the desk, reach through, grab his balls, and make him sing The Mickey Mouse Club song. But these days, I'm working on the theory that killing everyone I don't like might be counterproductive. I'm learning to use my indoor voice like a big boy, so I smile back at the clerk.

~ Richard Kadrey

They can talk shit about each other behind the others' backs, but when it comes down to it, money is the one true race and everyone down here is the color of greenbacks and as tall as mountains.

~ Richard Kadrey

If fucking up is power, I should be the Hulk by now.

~ Richard Kadrey

If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room.

~ Richard Kadrey

Besides, do you think you would have come if I’d just popped into your tattoo shop one night around closing andsaid, ‘Hello, I’m the Prince of Darkness. Think you could help me outwith a little war next Tuesday, say, sixish?

~ Richard Kadrey

When the world began, there were no such things as monsters. Demons were just fallen angels who, booted out of Heaven and bored with Hell, wandered the Earth sticking little girls’ pigtails in inkwells and sinking the occasional continent.

~ Richard Kadrey

He wore his fear on his skin for everyone to see.

~ Richard Kadrey

Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence.Or insanity.

~ Richard Kadrey

Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.

~ Richard Kadrey

There are two Venices I know about and one of them is a hotel in Vegas. The other is an L.A. beach where pretty girls walk their dogs while wearing as little as possible and mutant slabs of tanned, posthuman beef sip iced steroid lattes and pump iron until their pecs are the size of Volkswagens.

~ Richard Kadrey

As each wave of technology is released. It must be accompanied by a demand for new skills, new language. Consumers must constantly update their ways of thinking, always questioning their understanding of the world. Going back to old ways, old technology is forbidden. There in no past, no present, only an endless future of inadequacy

~ Richard Kadrey

It doesn't matter if you and everyone else in the room are thinking it. You don't say the words. Words are weapons. They blast big bloody holes in the world. And words are bricks. Say something out loud and it starts turning solid. Say it loud enough and it becomes a wall you can't get through.

~ Richard Kadrey

Thanks for treating me like, you know, a person through all this shit. I know that isn't always easy. (Stark)You do have a habit of pissing on other people's welcome mats. But, when a gentleman gives you a booty call to a massacre, it's easy to forgive. Ciao. (Candy)

~ Richard Kadrey

Love a man who'll bleed to make a point. (Candy)

~ Richard Kadrey

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

~ Richard Kadrey

This is where you first failed us. You gave us minds and told us not to think. You gave us curiosity and put a booby-trapped tree right in front of us. You gave us sex and told us not to do it. You played three-card monte with our souls from day one, and when we couldn't find the queen, you sent us to Hell to be tortured for eternity. That was your great plan for humanity? All you gave us here was daisies and fairy tales and you acted like that was enough. How were we supposed to resist evil when you didn't even tell us about it?

~ Richard Kadrey

Hell didn't make me a monster. It just confirmed all my worst fears about myself.

~ Richard Kadrey

It's more like how some people can't help but bring out the not necessarily righteous parts of your personality. Like how you meet someone and instantly know they're a full-time professional victim, and no matter how hard you try, something takes over and you can't help needling them.

~ Richard Kadrey

Nothing nice happens to murdered women.

~ Richard Kadrey

*For eleven years, I've been worked over and abused in ways you can't imagine by things you don't want to know about. I've killed every kind of vile, black-souled, dead-eyed nightmare that ever made you piss your pjs and cry for mommy in the middle of the night. I kill monsters and, if I wanted, I could say a word and burn you to powder from the inside out. I can tear any human you ever met to rages with my bare hands. Give me one good reason why I could possibly need you?*She looks straight at me, not blinking. No fear in her eyes.*Because you might be the Tasmanian Devil and the Angel of Death all rolled into one, but you don't even know how to get a phone.*I hate to admit it, but she has a point.

~ Richard Kadrey

Don't talk. Kill it.That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.

~ Richard Kadrey

The dead think they can get away with anything because you'll feel sorry for them. If you play cards with the dead, make sure you deal and don't let them buy you drinks. They'll slip you a formaldehyde roofie and pry the gold fillings out of your teeth.

~ Richard Kadrey

Don't drink too much.When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop.I'll have to get a shorter name.I'll have to forget how to spell it.

~ Richard Kadrey

Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?

~ Richard Kadrey