Drinking Quotes

I like to change liquor stores frequently because the clerks got to know your habits if you went in night and day and bought huge quantities. I could feel them wondering why I wasn't dead yet and it made me uncomfortable. They probably weren't thinking any such thing, but then a man gets paranoid when he has 300 hangovers a year.

~ Charles Bukowski

There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.

~ Bette Davis

I try to convince myself that it's the alcohol talking. But alcohol can't talk. It just sits there. It can't even get itself out of the bottle.

~ David Levithan

Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living.

~ George Bernard Shaw

Jem grinned. “Where have you been? The Blue Dragon? The Mermaid?” “The Devil Tavern if you must know.” Will sighed and leaned against one of the posts of the bed. “I had such plans for the evening. The pursuit of blind drunkenness and wayward women was my goal. But alas, it was not to be. No sooner had I consumed my third drink in the Devil than I was accosted by a delightful small flower-selling child who asked me for two-pence for a daisy. The price seemed steep, so I refused. When I told the girl as much, she proceeded to rob me.” “A little girl robbed you?” Tessa said. “Actually, she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel.” “Easy mistake to make,” Jem said.

~ Cassandra Clare

There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others.

~ Raymond Chandler

Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila.

~ Mark Z. Danielewski

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

~ Ogden Nash

Now tequila may be the favored beverage of outlaws but that doesn't mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably has betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied wives. Tequila, scorpion honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; Tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!

~ Tom Robbins

So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts.

~ Alexandre Dumas

There is no such joy in the tavern as upon the road thereto.

~ Cormac Mccarthy

Ronan did not smoke, he preferred his habits with hangovers.

~ Maggie Stiefvater

A man who drinks too much on occasion is still the same man as he was sober. An alcoholic, a real alcoholic, is not the same man at all. You can't predict anything about him for sure except that he will be someone you never met before.

~ Raymond Chandler

That is the remarkable thing about drinking: it brings people together so quickly, but between night and morning it sets an interval again of years.

~ Erich Maria Remarque

Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.

~ Ray Bradbury

I mean, you know how it is. You chase a bottle of sleeping pills with a bottle of Jack Daniel's and life's never the same, no matter how many times you try to tell people it was just an accident.

~ Courtney Summers

I like bars just after they open for the evening. When the air inside is still cool and clean and everything is shiny and the barkeep is giving himself that last look in the mirror to see if his tie is straight and his hair is smooth. I like the neat bottles on the bar back and the lovely shining glasses and the anticipation. I like to watch the man mix the first one of the evening and put it down on a crisp mat and put the little folded napkin beside it. I like to taste it slowly. The first quiet drink of the evening in a quiet bar—that's wonderful.

~ Raymond Chandler

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.

~ Mitch Ratcliffe

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.

~ Robert E. Lee

You think that's the solution to everything, don't you, Bane? Drinking and dancing and making love... but I tell you this, something is coming, and we'd be fools to ignore it.When have I ever claimed not to be a fool?

~ Cassandra Clare

At the time I started in ballet they were dancing 'The Spirit of Champagne' on pointe, in Paris. I thought, 'I don't want to dance the spirit of champagne, I want to drink it!

~ Martha Graham

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.

~ Lewis Grizzard

Janx Spirit : Janx Spirit is a rather potent alcoholic beverage, and is used heavily in drinking games that are played in the hyperspace ports that serve the madranite mining belts in the star system of Orion Beta. The game is not unlike the Earth game called Indian Wrestling, and is played like this: Two contestants sit at either side of a table, with a glass in front of each of them. Between them would be placed a bottle of Janx Spirit — as immortalized in that ancient Orion mining song :“Oh don’t give me no more of that Old Janx SpiritNo, don’t you give me no more of that Old Janx SpiritFor my head will fly, my tongue will lie, my eyes will fry and I may dieWon’t you pour me one more of that sinful Old Janx Spirit”Each of the two contestants would then concentrate their will on the bottle and attempt to tip it and pour spirit into the glass of his opponent – who would then have to drink it. The bottle would then be refilled. The game would be played again. And again. Once you started to lose you would probably keep losing, because one of the effects of Janx spirit is to depress telepsychic power. As soon as a predetermined quantity had been consumed, the final loser would have to perform a forfeit, which was usually obscenely biological.

~ Douglas Adams

I needed a vacation. I needed 5 women. I needed to get the wax out of my ears. My car needed an oil change. I'd failed to file my damned income tax. One of the stems had broken off of my reading glasses. There were ants in my apartment. I needed to get my teeth cleaned. My shoes were run down at the heels. I had insomnia. My auto insurance had expired. I cut myself every time i shaved. I hadn't laughed in 6 years. I tended to worry when there was nothing to worry about. And when there was something to worry about, i got drunk.

~ Charles Bukowski

I think piracy is a bit like drinking. You want to stay out all night doing it, you pay the price the next day.

~ Scott Lynch

And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.

~ Augusten Burroughs

Don't drink too much.When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop.I'll have to get a shorter name.I'll have to forget how to spell it.

~ Richard Kadrey

They say some of my stars drink whiskey. But I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

~ Fred Mcmane

Let us have wine and woman, mirth and laughter,Sermons and soda water the day after.Man, being reasonable, must get drunk;The best of life is but intoxication:Glory, the grape, love, gold, in these are sunkThe hopes of all men, and of every nation;Without their sap, how branchless were the trunkOf life's strange tree, so fruitful on occasion:But to return--Get very drunk; and whenYou wake with head-ache, you shall see what then.

~ George Gordon Byron

Rumor had it that he was homosexual; in reality, in recent years, he was simply a garden-variety alcoholic.

~ Michel Houellebecq

Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.

~ William Shakespeare

I will never, ever drink whiskey again. From now on, it's strictly sherry.

~ Libba Bray

Glasses are for people that sips instead of drinks.

~ Kai Starr

Structural linguistics is a bitterly divided and unhappy profession, and a large number of its practitioners spend many nights drowning their sorrows in Ouisghian Zodahs.

~ Douglas Adams

You don’t need to drink to get over your feelings. Deal with your feelings that’s how you get over them

~ Holly Hood

the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner

~ Josh Stern

Taking a couple short backup swigs, Flint’s crippling headache started to release its grip, sort of the way he imagined an octopus would release an inedible bowling ball.

~ Cole Alpaugh

Well, I drank enough to sustain a small Spanish village, I haven't had an orgasm in a thousand years, and I will probably die old and alone in a beautifully designed apartment with all of Clive's illegitimate children swarming around me...How do you think I feel?

~ Alice Clayton

I distrust a man that says when. If he's got to be careful not to drink to much it's because he's not to be trusted when he does.

~ Dashiell Hammett

One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams.

~ John Milton