Stephanie Plum Quotes

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum

~ Janet Evanovich

My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn.She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action.-Ranger and Stephanie

~ Janet Evanovich

Your on your on with this one babe.Coward.Calling me names isn't going to get me in there.-Ranger and Stephanie

~ Janet Evanovich

In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment.

~ Janet Evanovich

I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?

~ Janet Evanovich

Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

~ Janet Evanovich

Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum

~ Janet Evanovich

It's not a nice thing to send a penis to a woman. It's disrespectful.

~ Janet Evanovich

If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it, you're good as dead!

~ Janet Evanovich

...I blink back the threat of tears, swiped at my nose and narrowed my eyes. Listen to me, you two bags of monkey shit, I yelled. I am not in a good mood. My car keeps stalling. The day before yesterday I threw up on Joe Morelli. I was called a fat cow by my ex-husband. And if that isn't enough...my hair is ORANGE! ORANGE, FOR CHRISSAKE! And now you have the gall to force yourself into my home and threaten my hamster. Well, you have gone too far. You have crossed the line!

~ Janet Evanovich