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Nicki Elson Quotes

Nicki Elson quote from classy quote

I know every guy here, and they’re all pretty much jerks.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Humor Romance

You’re supposed to pinch yourself – not the one you’re dreaming about.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Humor Romance Sarcasm

Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life?

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Humor Love Romance Sarcasm

What Hans had intended to end at a simple kiss quickly escalated into something neither one of them seemed able to stop.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Adult Fairy Tales Romance Sex Sexy Twisted Fairy Tales

I bring the girl to a museum, try to show her a little culture, and she turns a Chihuly into a giant phallus.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Art Humor Sex

I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Humor Sarcasm Sex

It was simply a matter of asking him to remove the tie from his head before he made love to her.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Humor Sex

You have a travel vibrator, so I assume you call this one your house vibrator. Store one in your dashboard for a car vibrator too? What about your desk at work? And do they each have their own name, or is it like George Foreman’s kids – Vibrizzio one, Vibrizzio two…

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Chick Lit Dating Humor Sex Vibrators

What exactly does that expression even mean? An ass that won’t quit? Think about the primary function of an ass—I’d think that’s the sort of thing you might want to quit.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Attraction Dating Humor Sex

One day she was going to be found dead mid-hump on a polyurethane phallus

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Humor Sex Sexuality Vibrator

Vibrizzio? You named it! Okay, this isn’t even close to healthy.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Chick Lit Humor Sex Vibrators

Just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean he and I can’t be just friends.” “And just because you don’t have to insert batteries into him doesn’t mean you can’t be more.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Dating Erotic Romance Friends To Lovers Sex Vibrators

Does getting nailed by a werewolf count as bestiality?

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Erotica Fantasies Humor Sex

That’s all women need men for? Sperm, a paycheck, and free flights?

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Dating Humor Relationships Sex

My imagination plus Vibrizzio is not only equal to but also greater than a real man. Why should I settle for second best?

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Dating Humor Sex Vibrators

He met each newly exposed piece of flesh with a tender kiss, remembering how he’d dreamed of doing exactly this on the very first night he’d seen her.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Adult Fairy Tales Love Sex Sexy True Love Twisted Fairy Tales

No amount of wavy blond hair nor evenings spent with her plump lips applying just the right amount of pressure to his various pleasure points could make up for the rotting carcass of a soul that resided beneath all that beauty.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Adult Fairy Tales Sex Sexy Twisted Fairy Tales Zombie Zombies

Some of us feel the need to experience life before bending to the will of an arcane society.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Life Relationships Society

In what way did your parents screw up to make you the woman you are today?

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Dating Humor Psychology

It’s complicated. He’s not…' Human? 'He’s playing hard to get.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Complicated Relationship Humor Paranormal Romance

I was hoping to find a way out of here and instead found you.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Fairy Tales For Adults Fate Love True Love

You might not believe in the devil, but do you believe evil lurks in this world?

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Evil

Given his personality, I’d say exorcism makes perfect sense as a favored pastime.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Evil Evil People Exorcism Humor Wicked People

You should seriously get a job planning dates for The Bachelor.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Boat Chicago Contemporary Romance Date Datenight Funny Love Romance

The Old Testament is actually pretty raunchy. You might enjoy it.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Bible Humor

Oh.” It was one those ohs that came packed with layers of meaning — none of which merely meant oh.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Communication Hidden Meanings Relationships

He’d only ever seen her twice, only talked to her once, but as he now gazed upon her, he realized that he’d missed her all day long.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Fairy Tales For Adults Love True Love

If you’re going to be a dickhead, at least have the courtesy of doing it while I have a drink in my hand so I can throw it in your face!

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Breakup Dating Humor Relationships

He’s so outta my league, we’re not even playing the same sport… He’s professional soccer in Europe and I’m intramural badminton in the States.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Dating Humor Opposites Attract

You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don’t go nutty on me.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Fairy Tales For Adults Humor Romance Sarcasm

She was starting to think that it might be fun to be in control of the universe.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Marijuana Peer Pressure Philosophical

In truth, Liesel was a prisoner too, just held by different kinds of bonds.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Fairy Tales For Adults Philosophical

Where did you think playing with angels was going to get you?

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Angels Warning

How do you possibly manage to turn talk of an angel into something perverted?

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Angel Angels Humor Sex

She didn’t dare expose her heart the way she’d exposed her body.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Love Hurts Seduction Self Preservation Sex

It’s like a meatloaf.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Humor Sexy

The candle’s flame washed her in a sensual bath of pulsating light, and Hans became entranced by the soft glow upon her skin.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Fairy Tales For Adults Sensuality Sexy

She stared stupidly into his eyes, thinking about how very much she’d like to make that noise again…with him.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Seduction Sex Sexy

I’m glad she’s so smitten with her new huntsman boyfriend and all, but venison-wurst? Gag me with a harpsichord.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Fairy Tales Fairy Tales For Adults Fairy Tales Retold Humor

Free drinks have no carbs.

~ Nicki Elson

Nicki Elson Dieting Drinking Humor Partying
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