Foibles Quotes

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

~ Nora Ephron

Mercifully one forgets one's love affairs as one forgets one's dreams.

~ Iris Murdoch

I mean, you may cause others a spot of bother by your weaknesses, perhaps, but coping with you may possibly increase their strength and sympathy. But if you sin deliberately, even if it seems only against yourself--well--you won't be the only one to suffer. You may even be the one who suffers least.

~ Elizabeth Goudge

He could sell the Pope on financing a Mormon tabernacle.

~ Anonymous

Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large.

~ George Carlin

My mother said You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate. I said Just wait.

~ Judy Tenuta

I believe in practicing prudence at least once every two or three years.

~ Molly Ivins

I don't believe in astrology - of course that's very typical of Leos.

~ Wendy Morgan

Being popular is important. Otherwise people might not like you.

~ Mitni Pond

The rich can be eccentric the poor have to be considered nuts.

~ Anonymous

If I only had a little humility I'd be perfect.

~ Ted Turner

The ability to sin differs among people. For example a short-armed fisherman isn't as big a liar as a long-armed one.

~ Anonymous

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.

~ Alice Roosevelt Longworth

You can't act like a skunk without someone's getting wind of it.

~ Lorene Workman

I don't gamble. I invest with a risk.

~ Howard Crossman

At home I am a nice guy but I don't want the world to know. Humble people I've found don't go very far.

~ Muhammad Ali

I never gossip but I can give you the names of certain people who do.

~ Judy Hampton

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

~ Jules Renard

He talks at the drop of a pause.

~ John Mason Brown

Deep down I'm really shallow.

~ Linda Merkin

No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have - and I think he's a dirty little beast.

~ W. S. Gilbert

Everyone is ignorant only on different subjects.

~ Will Rogers

What a pity human beings can't exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow's.

~ Olin Miller

She realizes she doesn't know as much as God but feels she knows as much as God knew when he was her age.

~ Dorothy Parker

The worst thing about a bore is not that he won't stop talking but that he won't let you stop listening.

~ Anonymous

Horse sense is what keeps horses from betting on what people will do.

~ Raymond Nash

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.

~ Fran Lebowitz

When compelled to cook I produce a meal that would make a sword swallower gag.

~ Russell Baker

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

~ W. C. Fields

It gives me great strength to know that half the people I meet are below average.

~ Anonymous

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing other patients.

~ Oscar Levant

We'd all like a reputation for generosity and we'd all like to buy it cheap.

~ Mignon Mclaughlin

I may have faults but being wrong ain't one of them.

~ Jimmy Hoffa

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said No bablo ingles.

~ Ronnie Shakes

I'm not at all stuck up . . . although judging from those around me I have every right to be.

~ Anonymous

Lead me not into temptation I can find the way myself.

~ Rita Mae Brown

Let's just say he has too many pigeons on his antenna.

~ Anonymous

I have my standards. They may be low but I have them.

~ Bette Midler

She's not moody. She's just known for her versatility of emotions.

~ Louise Lotz

Yesterday was the first day of the rest of your life . . . and you messed it up again.

~ Patrick Murray