Funny Quotes

Hey,” Shayne said through the door. “You going to stay in there all night, because we’re getting tired of trying to eavesdrop from out here. Can’t hear a damn thing.

~ Jill Shalvis

Put me down, I’m too heavy.”“You’re small enough to fit in my pocket.

~ Sarah Mayberry

She didn’t sound overjoyed. She didn’t sound even slightly joyed.

~ Sarah Mayberry

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

He’d done it like he did everything else—with passion and total disregard for how much it might embarrass her.

~ Kaylea Cross

He should probably make love to her.

~ Tara Janzen

Jake became excruciatingly aware of her, there, right behind him. The small grunts and groans as she placed each foot carefully on the slick ground reverberated in his gut. He wanted to turn around and tell her to shut the hell up.She sounded as though she was having sex.Good sex.

~ Cherry Adair

Okay, first of all, I didn’t sleep with you to make amends. I slept with you because I wanted to.”He still didn’t say anything, and she pointed at him again. “And you know what? It was your own damn fault. It was those jeans you wear, and the tool belt. It was the size of your hammer!

~ Jill Shalvis

The man in 4B wondered if he could have your autograph. He told me his daughter is a huge fan.”

~ Tara Janzen

You two were in a cave together?’ said Miss Simpkins in horror.‘Yes,’ said Kate, ‘and it was very, very dark.

~ Kenneth Oppel

He couldn’t just come right out with it, could he? No, that would scare her off. He had to be subtle, build up to it. Explain himself. “I love you.” Of course, straight to the point was also an effective strategy.

~ Sarah Mayberry

Sounds like you kids have some talking to do. I'll be eavesdropping from the kitchen.

~ Jill Shalvis

Regin the Radiant and Emmaline Troy: 'Alrighty then, have it your way- you're on your own... Now, if you come across a leech, no offense, remember your training.''None taken. And would that be the sword training where you fly past my defenses and swat me on the ass, chirping, 'Dead!'? Another swat. 'Dead!'? Yeah, I'll get right on that.''No, that would be the training where you sprint like hell whenever you hear that I'm looking for you to train.

~ Kresley Cole

Was it just her, or did lovers look more adoringly at each other in this city? Especially in the springtime.'Die, bastards.'She sighed. It wasn't their fault that they were bastards who should die.

~ Kresley Cole

I said alone!”He nodded in agreement. “Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It’s our way.

~ Kresley Cole

We’re adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you’re counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even.

~ Robyn Carr

It was like being leaned on by a very heavy, warm brick. A sexy brick.

~ Patricia Briggs

Three Denises wobbled in front of her, all of them watching her with fond concern. “You’re a sweetie. I appreciate you cheering me on from the sidelines. But I think I need to go to the bathroom now and throw up.

~ Sarah Mayberry

She hated Mr. Meanie. But she'd gotten to know him and they'd reached an understanding of sorts. Now she was to have him for supper.Don't tell me you're feeling guilty?Breaking off a piece of the wing, she brought it to her lips and took a bite. It did taste good. Very good.I wonder if all grouchy males are this palatable.Drew choked.She looked up, tilting her head. Are you all right?He turned a dull red. Eat your supper, Connie.

~ Deeanne Gist

I want you to know, chickens aren’t sexy. Not to me.”This was met with silence.“Are you there?” She was slurring her words now, which was embarrassing, so she took a deep breath. “Cam? Can you hear me?”“Yes, chickens aren’t sexy. Uh…I don’t think they’re meant to be.

~ Jill Shalvis

Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he'd ever been shot at with.

~ Jill Shalvis

Just leave me alone, I want to be alone,” she said when Jack tried to open the car door. She hit the lock, and wound the window up. Since the roof was down, it was a fairly pointless exercise.

~ Sarah Mayberry

What sort of look are you going for?” Damn, how did he answer this? “Something…normal,” he finally said.

~ Toni Blake

Ah, damn it, lass,'he called after her. 'I've busted my stitches wide open.''What?'she cried, hurrying back to him. 'Let me see!''Ah-ha!' He snared her around the waist, dragging her down with him to his lap.'You still care for me!

~ Kresley Cole

You totally love him. He's your widdle snookums.

~ Thea Harrison

Excuse me, your attention please.” He waited until the whole floor had stopped what it was doing and turned to face him. For a split second his impulse control kicked in, but by then his mouth was fully engaged. “For the record, Claire Marsden and I are not having sex.

~ Sarah Mayberry

Sadly, however, the sight of her generous D cups no longer sparked an ounce of interest from Little Sam, the man in charge of social activities.

~ Sarah Mayberry

Wow,” she said. “Do you realise how wonderful you sound?”“Yes, I do,” he said with a firm nod. “And I think I’m underappreciated.

~ Robyn Carr

How do you know?”“Well, I don’t, I’m making this up, but I bet I’m right.

~ Robyn Carr

He tends to go for girls who are-Shelby, honey? Put your hands over your ears for just a sec.” Back into the phone he said, “He likes the real slutty ones. Ow!” he yelled when he received a whop to the back of the head.

~ Robyn Carr

Suddenly he caught his reflection in the mirror behind her. His face was twisted into a dark scowl, and he was standing there naked, with a boner, and another man’s business card in his hand.He looked like a dick.

~ Sarah Mayberry

There was a group of fans who wanted autographs, and several women who managed to write their phone numbers on Wade's hand before he pulled free.Sam sent him an arched brow, but he just shrugged. He got numbers written on him a lot; he'd never figured out how to stop that from happening.

~ Jill Shalvis

However, I have to warn you, I kind of like that you find me irresistible.”“Did I say that?” he asked, a slight tint creeping up his stubbled cheeks. “I didn’t say that! I find you completely resistible.

~ Robyn Carr

Her hands shot up. “See that’s exactly what I’m saying. You’re seeing what you want, and what you see you explain away and excuse things like you’re fixing me. I’m not perfect, Ephraim and I really wish you would see that.” “You drool.” “What?” That caught her off guard. “When you’re asleep you drool. I’ve woken up more than a few times with a little puddle forming on my chest.” After a thought he added. “And you snore. Not a delicate snore either mind you.” “I do not!” Her face colored with indignation. He sighed heavily as if the knowledge pained him. “Oh, but you do. I’ve even heard Jill talk about it. Did you know that’s the main reason she was happy about her room. Actually, she and Joshua thanked your Grandmother for putting you at the other end of the house, something about finally getting a decent night’s sleep. They compared your snore to a chainsaw. I can see why they’d say that.

~ R.l. Mathewson

Brooke? he finally found the sense to ask. What are you doing here?I need a gun.This was not how his dream was supposed to go.

~ Shannon K. Butcher

What the dev— er, deuce did you do that for? It hurt!”“Good,” said the angel. “I was afraid these new shoes would not be sturdy enough.

~ Anne Gracie

Your big scary husband is crying.

~ Robyn Carr

You said she's a senior? Babe we're ALL crazy.

~ Cecily Von Ziegesar

What are you doing here?”All right, he was standing in front of an easel, holding a paint palette and brush. “Taxidermy?” he responded with just a touch of his own sarcasm.

~ Robyn Carr

Her mouth set. I've already lost one man I loved tonight. I will not lose the other. She glared at him. And curse you, you stone head, for making me say it first.

~ Patrick W. Carr