Classy Quote logo
  • Home
  • Categories
  • Authors
  • Topics
  • Who said

Humorous Quotes

Humorous quote from classy quote

Be careful what you wear to bed, because you never know where you might wake up.

~ Ridley Pearson

Ridley Pearson Disney Humorous Inspirational Keepers

But stay away from him, Juliana. When we said we wanted to make you a good match, Leighton was not who we imag

~ Sarah Maclean

Sarah Maclean Humorous

I'm going to have to give him shit for all this,' Shane said, as he wandered around. 'He lives alone and makes his bed? Who does that?''People who like things neat?''Its not natural.

~ Rachel Caine

Rachel Caine Funny Humor Humorous Shane Collins

He had a bright, reckless tenor that was always wandering off, looking for notes in the wrong places.

~ Patrick Rothfuss

Patrick Rothfuss Humorous Music

... It wasn't my finest moment, but I rolled my eyes and actually huffed. Fine, don't answer. I don't even know why I asked.No, I am not having sex with anyone.Oh. I shrugged nonchalantly, but for some reason his response filled me with glee. It was as if a unicorn had appeared beneath a double rainbow and started tap dancing.

~ Penny Reid

Penny Reid Humorous

If Myrnin pokes his crazy head up before then, call me and try to keep him, you know, stable.''Is he UNstable?''I don't know, how can I tell? You're the crazy whisperer!'She had a point. Claire couldn't help but smile about that.

~ Rachel Caine

Rachel Caine Eve Rosser Funny Humorous

I glance down, and my eyes get big.What? He glances down, realizes why my eyes are big, and shrugs his shoulders. It's morning.It's cute. Can I keep it?

~ Jillian Dodd

Jillian Dodd Humorous Lol Cute Rolling With Laughter

Felicity was horrible and snide, but then Felicity had been a repulsive earwig ever since she first grew a vocabulary.

~ Gail Carriger

Gail Carriger Humorous

I'm going to go throw up now, because ive turned into my dad. If vomiting doesn't work, I'll see if I can get an exorcism.

~ Veronica Blade

Veronica Blade Chait Growing Up Humor Humorous

Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl's panties.

~ Tracy Brogan

Tracy Brogan Crazy Little Things Humor Humorous Humorous Romance Laugh Out Loud Mankind Tracy Brogan

You need to relax and be yourself, not whoever it is you’re trying to be in your mad little head. I bloody don’t, though. I’m me and I’m good at it.

~ Nick Harkaway

Nick Harkaway Humorous

Hand-to-hand combat with three hundred pounds of screaming monkey menace is not my idea of a fair fight. My idea of a fair fight is one unarmed, toothless, nearsighted old monkey versus me with a Blackhawk attack helicopter.

~ Dean Koontz

Dean Koontz Humorous

Two gorgeous guys slaving in the kitchen. Doesn't get any better than this.''You have low standards,' Chait grinned over his shoulder and dropped bread into the toaster. 'If I had two hot girls in my kitchen, I'd want them naked.' I stood immobile, seeing Chait and Hayden in my minds eye. Naked, cooking for me.Hayden glanced my way and chuckled as I dashed away.

~ Veronica Blade

Veronica Blade Chait Humor Humorous

I used to wonder what I was doing wrong. Now I know: just about everything.

~ Raegan Butcher

Raegan Butcher Humorous

Wait here, Miz Meg, and we'll holler when we're undressed and under the covers. We know it don't bother you seein' our backsides since you're a widow and all, but it'd sure bother us… even though you've seen em before. We kinda like to keep 'em to ourselves

~ Lorraine Heath

Lorraine Heath Humorous

I'm like a stray cat. If you feed me, I don't leave.

~ Michelle M. Pillow

Michelle M. Pillow Author Life Cat Feeding Food Houseguest Humor Humor Quote Humorous Michelle Pillow Stray

One thing I have to give Christians; were it not for Sunday, every day of the week would be a workday.

~ Lex Allen

Lex Allen Humorous Work Day Humor

Jim Rosato was recently married, to a Greek nurse. Rosato was half Irish and half Italian, and there was a pool on at the 1st as to which of the two would arrive at work wearing the other's skin as a hat within the year.

~ Warren Ellis

Warren Ellis Humorous

Soon the grizzly was joined by a brown bear, a sun bear, and a beaver suffering from an identity crisis of magnificent proportion

~ Cameron Dokey

Cameron Dokey Humorous

I am no indiscriminate novel reader. The mere trash of the common circulating library I hold in the highest contempt.

~ Jane Austen

Jane Austen Humorous Reading

You know, I can’t wait for her to gets married because hell is made of fire and she said it would be frozen before she gots married again.” ~ Anna Kate

~ J.t. Cheyanne

J.t. Cheyanne Cute Kids Funny Humorous

So. Monday. We meet again.We will never be friends—but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more-positive partnership.

~ Julio Alexi Genao

Julio Alexi Genao Humor Humorous Monday Mondays

Tyson dropped the two warriors he was about to tie into a knot and jogged after us. He jumped on the centaur's back. 'Dude!' the centaur groaned, almost buckling under Tyson's weight. 'Do the words low-carb diet mean anything to you?

~ Rick Riordan

Rick Riordan Centaur Diet Humorous Tyson

But the best part of catching Neil in the shower was, hands down, the loud, awful singing.

~ Abigail Barnette

Abigail Barnette Humorous

Sophie raised her head. Light filtering through the trees dappled her face. “Hawk.”Charlotte looked up as well. A bird of prey soared above the treetops, circling around them.“It’s dead,” Sophie said. “George is guiding it. He is very powerful.”The realization washed over Charlotte in a cold gush of embarrassment. “Is George spying on Richard and me?”“Always,” Sophie said. “All those perfect manners are a sham. He spies on everyone and everything. Declan hasn’t been able to conduct a single business meeting in the past year without George’s knowing all the details. He does let go when you make love. He is a prude.”“‘Prude’ is a coarse word. He has a sense of tact,” Charlotte corrected before she caught herself.“A sense of tact,” Sophie repeated, tasting the words. “Thank you. The other one is somewhere around here, too.”“The other one?”Sophie surveyed the woods. “I can smell you, Jack!”“No, you can’t,” a distant voice answered

~ Ilona Andrews

Ilona Andrews Humorous

Toddlers are germ-warfare machines in a cute package- Debora Geary

~ Debora Geary

Debora Geary Humorous

Worse day ever! I whined to Ellie.Oh, worse than the time you got pulled over and the cop said 'papers' and you said 'scissors, I win' and he didn't laugh?

~ Sophie Monroe

Sophie Monroe Humorous

michelle would get picked up and bang someone anonymous stud in the bathroom, and i would sip my drink wishing i could go home and curl up with a book. i sigh. thats ok. she was my vicarious slutty friend. and for that i loved her

~ Marata Eros

Marata Eros Humorous

... Kenny G is extremely talented and resourceful and a powerful force to be reckoned with ... Mr. G might not seem evil, but I fear him more than any other human being.

~ Matthew Quick

Matthew Quick Humorous Musician

I'm not helping any of you freaks! she shouts. I'm not the Witch of Wayland, you hear me? I'm sick of all you mutants pounding on my door for love spells and all the like! I told you, I don't do that backwoods modern-day, wannabe Wiccafuck stuff! You hear me?

~ J.a. Redmerski

J.a. Redmerski Humorous

It saddened me that sometimes shopping was far more perilous than dealing with zombies and vampires.

~ Anton Strout

Anton Strout Humorous Shopping Vampires Zombies

I guess the breakfast burritos are going to have some extra protein in the morning.

~ Jon S. Lewis

Jon S. Lewis Funny Humor Humorous

I need you to get inside Wayne's head. I need someone who thinks a bit left field and in your own unpleasant way, Helen Walsh, you're a genius.He had a point. I'm lazy and illogical. I've limited people skills. I'm easily bored and easily irritated. But I have moments of brilliance. They come and they go and I can't depend on them but they do happen.

~ Marian Keyes

Marian Keyes Character Description Humorous Turn Of Phrase

Artie: It's in here.Jim: Let's check this [box] first, Artie.Artie: Oh. [Finding a fake Sword of Kuniyoshi] Phony! How do you like that? Phony!Jim: Artie...so are our bonds.Artie: Oh. You can't trust anybody these days.Wild Wild West (TV) Season 3Night of the Samurai

~ Wild Wild West Tv

Wild Wild West Tv Humorous Tv

Who ever felt canary yellow and light blue are a suitable color should be tarred and feathered.

~ Rae Z. Ryans

Rae Z. Ryans Humorous

Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes! Michael Keaton character in Mr. Mom

~ Mark Buff

Mark Buff Funny Funny Humor Humor Humorous

What do you call a rifle with three barrels?A trifle.

~ Joseph Rosenbloom

Joseph Rosenbloom Biggest Biggest Riddle Book In The World Funniest Funny Humor Humorous Joke Joke Book Joseph Rosenbloom Laugh Riddle Rifle Rosenbloom

She stops chewing and brings the chains on her wrist up to her nose and sniffs. She pulls away with a mild disgusted expression. Definitely smells like a skank...

~ J.a. Redmerski

J.a. Redmerski Comebacks Humorous

110, 111 whatever it takes!Michael Keaton character in Mr. Mom

~ Mark Buff

Mark Buff Funny Funny Humor Humor Humorous Humour

Damn it, I should be the only one allowed to drool over him. I found him first! Or something not as stupid.

~ Nicole Christie

Nicole Christie Humor Humorous
Load More classy quote icon
  • Classy Quote

    ClassyQuote has been providing 500000+ famous quotes from 40000+ popular authors to our worldwide community.

  • Other Pages

    • About Us
    • Contact Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
  • Our Products

    • Chrome Extention
    • Microsoft Edge Add-on
  • Follow Us

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
Copyright © 2025 ClassyQuote. All rights reserved.