Travel Quotes

You must regard this deviation from your plan as part of the adventure that you sought when you decided to embark on it in the first place...Absence of certainty is its essence. People...who choose to shun the mundane must not only expect, but also enjoy and profit from surprises.

~ Adam Yamey

If the sky falls, we shall catch larks./Když nebe padá , zjímáme skřivani.

~ Czech Proverb

What happened to me? I asked myself. Morris's high, smoky voice took me back to my university years, when I thought rich people were evil, a shirt and tie were prison clothes, and life without freedom to get up and go - motorcycle beneath you, breeze in your face, down the streets of Paris, into the mountains of Tibet - was not a good life at all. What happened to me?

~ Mitch Albom

The pursuit of your life purpose is a unique journey.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.

~ Emile Ganest

When we can't get away for a vacation we get the same feeling by staying home and tipping every person that smiles.

~ Susie Spanos

One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country the American dollar will fall like a stone.

~ Erma Bombeck

The trouble with all these other countries is they're all being run by foreigners.

~ Anonymous

My wife loves Europe but to me it's a bad day at a theme park.

~ Jay Leno

This summer one-third of the nation will be ill-housed ill-nourished and ill-clad. Only they call it a vacation.

~ Joseph Salak

My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away as long as I'm not enjoying it.

~ Lee Trevino

On cable TV they have a weather channel - twenty-four hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.

~ Dan Spencer

There's a lot of nice things about Denver. I just don't for the life of me know what they are.

~ Judy Hampton

The people of Seattle deny they get much rain while the rest of the country thinks of it as America's bladder.

~ Anonymous

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death.

~ Mark Twain

The tanned appearance of many New Englanders is not sunburn - it is rust.

~ Anonymous

I hate Billings Montana. They have a fashion show at Sears Roebuck - no models. You open a catalog and point.

~ Joan Rivers

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

~ Fred Allen

L.A.'s large convenience stores are so big they can accommodate up to twenty armed robbers at one time.

~ Jay Leno

After years of mocking L.A. for its smog the people of Denver are now coughing out of the other side of their mouths.

~ Anonymous

There's nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

~ Ross Macdonald

It looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

~ Groucho Marx

It is possible to live in San Francisco for $35 000 a year. Obviously that doesn't include food or lodging.

~ Kenn Carlson

L.A. bumper sticker: Keep honking - I'm reloading.

~ Anonymous

Miami bumper sticker: My horn is broken-so watch for my finger.

~ Anonymous

Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash.

~ Dave Barry

I lived in Miami for a while in a section with a lot of really old people. The average age in my apartment house was dead.

~ Gabe Kaplan

I have no respect for gangs today. None. They just drive by and shoot people. At least in the old days like in West Side Story the gangs used to dance with each other.

~ Robert G. Lee

A car is useless in New York essential everywhere else. The same with good manners.

~ Mignon Mclaughlin

I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect but I still love him.

~ Woody Allen

Living in New York is like being at some terrible late-night party. You're tired you've had a headache since you arrived but you can't leave because then you'd miss the party.

~ Simon Hoggart

Living in California adds ten years to a man's life. And those extra ten years I'd like to spend in New York.

~ Harry Ruby

I have just returned from Boston it is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

~ Fred Allen

A small town is usually divided by a railroad a main street two churches and a lot of opinions.

~ Anonymous

texan starting eternity: I never dreamed heaven would be so much like Texas. companion: Who said this was heaven?

~ Anonymous

Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.

~ Dave Barry

I would say that the single most important conclusion I reached after traveling through Japan as well as countless hours reading studying and analyzing this fascinating culture is that you should always tighten the cap on the shampoo bottle before you put it in your suitcase.

~ Dave Barry

I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong and he said: Yes: the little one does.

~ Mark Twain

France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

~ Billy Wilder

How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheese?

~ Charles De Gaulle