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Ron White Quotes

Ron White quote from classy quote

I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

~ Ron White

Ron White Lemons Life Party

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

~ Ron White

Ron White Humor Humour Self Knowledge

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!

~ Ron White

Ron White Funny Humor Inspirational Party

A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.

~ Ron White

Ron White People Laugh Find

There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup anyway, so I don't know what they're doing.

~ Ron White

Ron White Start Leaving Know

I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.

~ Ron White

Ron White Positive Relationship

Vegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them. Margo and I are proof that you can make this work. It just takes a little effort.

~ Ron White

Ron White Work Effort Vegas

If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money.

~ Ron White

Ron White Money Live You

I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.

~ Ron White

Ron White Universe Me Ask

I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don't do a ton of it.

~ Ron White

Ron White Me People Know

If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn.

~ Ron White

Ron White Success Time Long

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.

~ Ron White

Ron White Trying Death Penalty Lane

The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really.

~ Ron White

Ron White Work Work Hard Me

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.

~ Ron White

Ron White School Smart Disability

My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.

~ Ron White

Ron White Comedians Guy Guess

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

~ Ron White

Ron White Fat Beer You

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

~ Ron White

Ron White Life Believe I Believe

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

~ Ron White

Ron White Time Thought You

All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.

~ Ron White

Ron White Mind Know Comedy

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.

~ Ron White

Ron White Today I Am Tomorrow

I've got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called 'Jayne Mansfield's Car.' I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.

~ Ron White

Ron White New Dialogue Role

I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, 'I'm not even a 10th of this man.'

~ Ron White

Ron White Daughter Man Thought

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

~ Ron White

Ron White Driving Years Back
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