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Comedians Quotes

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I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.

~ Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin Comedians Demetri Martin Funny Games Helping Others Humor Shot Video Games

People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Ability Able Aphorism Aphorisms Bless Blessed Blessing Blessings Comedian Comedians Comedy Comic Comics Compensate Compensation Gift Gifted Gifts Humor Humour Insight Insightful Insights Intellect Intellectual Intellectuals Intelligent Profound Quotation Quotations Quote Quotes Satire Talent Talented Talents Unable Untalented Wisdom Wise

Comedians can turn laughter into tears and back again.

~ Anthony T. Hincks

Anthony T. Hincks Comedians Cry Crying Funny Laughter Life Philosophy Tears Turn

Finally, my watchers had to fess up. In embarrassed and genuinely polite tones, they said they had no other choice but to arrest me. Then they accompanied me to the prison across the way. As I entered, an extremely tall SS man leapt in front of me and asked: “Do you have any weapons?” “Why?” I responded. “Do I need any?

~ Rudolph Herzog

Rudolph Herzog Comedians Dictatorship Germany History Humor Jokes Nazi Third Reich Werner Flinck

Comrades, we are going to try to cheer you up, and our sense of humor will help us in this endeavor, although the phrase gallows humor has never seemed so logical and appropriate. The external circumstances are exactly in our favor. We need only to take a look at the barbed wire fences, so high and full of electricity. Just like your expectations.And then there are the watchtowers that monitor our every move. The guards have machine guns. But machine guns won’t intimidate us, comrades. They just have barrels of guns, whereas we are going to have barrels of laughs.You may be surprised at how upbeat and cheerful we are. Well, comrades, there are goods reasons for this. It’s been a long time since we were in Berlin. But every time we appeared there, we felt very uneasy. We were afraid we’d get sent to the concentration camps. Now that fear is gone. We’re already here.

~ Rudolph Herzog

Rudolph Herzog Comedians Concentration Camps Dictatorship Germany History Humor Jokes Nazi Third Reich Werner Flinck

A comedian is better than a politician, at least there is no doubt.

~ Bangambiki Habyarimana

Bangambiki Habyarimana Comedian Comedians Humor Books Humor Quotes Humorist Humorous Humorous Quotations Humorous Quotes Lies Politics Political Political Correctness Political Philosophy Politicians Politics

Comedians are people who embarrass themselves in style.

~ A.d. Posey

A.d. Posey Ad Posey Comedians Embarrass In Style Inspirational People Stories Story Storytellers Storytelling Themselves Write Writers Writing Writing Quotes

Are we not all actors playing parts in another person's play?

~ Shannon L. Alder

Shannon L. Alder Action Actors Actress Comedians Comedy Connections Curiousity Dark Humor Drama Good Will Hunting Heroes Horror Humor Irony Life Life Roles Lovers Monsters Perspective Philosophy Religion Roles Romance Shakespeare Teachers Theology Viewpoint Villians Worldsuck Writing

I don’t think being a comedian gives you any fucking insight into what makes people laugh.

~ Craig Ferguson

Craig Ferguson Comedians Comedy Insight Laughter

No small part of the club's audience consisted of would-be comics, as well as the leading comics of the day. In fact, there were so many gagsters around that it was difficult to know who was part of the act and who was just sitting in.

~ Kliph Nesteroff

Kliph Nesteroff Comedian Comedians Comedy Stand Up Comedy

This is the funniest book I’ve ever held in my hands. --Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize winning humorist and author says about Radical Sabbatical

~ Dave Barry

Dave Barry Comedians Comedy Humor

We can’t all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Comedians Comedy Laughter

HECKLER: Say something funny!COMEDIAN: I don't do requests.

~ J. Ross Clara

J. Ross Clara Comedians Comedy Hecklers Heckling Humor Humour

98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Comedians Comedy Humor Interview

Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.

~ Steve Martin

Steve Martin Comedians Comedy Comedy Humor Humor

There isn't a thing I can't do now that I didn't do when I was twenty-one...which gives you an idea of how pathetic I was when I was twenty-one. (That's a lie, but I might as well tell you something right here at the beginning of the book. Anytime I can get a laugh I'm not going to let the truth interfere with it.)

~ George Burns

George Burns Aging Comedians Humor Truth

My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.

~ Ron White

Ron White Comedians Guy Guess

I know a lot of sad people who aren't comedians.

~ Gene Wilder

Gene Wilder People Know Comedians

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.

~ Al Franken

Al Franken Loved Comedians Buddy
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