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Humor quote from classy quote

In hindsight, I have no idea why he was ever with me. He thought highly of my breasts. And . . . that's it, I think.

~ Emma Forrest

Emma Forrest Humor Love Love Humor Men Relationships

Quaint and picturesque, though I didn't voice my opinion out loud. Keirran and Annwyl were faeries, and Kenzie was a girl, so it was okay for them to notice such things. as a card-carrying guy club, I wasn't going to comment on the floral arrangements.

~ Julie Kagawa

Julie Kagawa Ethan Chase Humor Men Stereotypes

When we first got married, we made a pact. It was this: In our life together, it was decided I would make all of the big decisions and my wife would make all of the little decisions. For fifty years, we have held true to that agreement. I believe that is the reason for the success in our marriage. However, the strange thing is that in fifty years, there hasn’t been one big decision.

~ Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein Humor Marriage Men Power Women

Okay, guys. Stop it. Are you going to start peeing on me to mark your territory?

~ Maegan Lynn Moores

Maegan Lynn Moores Humor Humour Jealousy Men

Seriously, Jack, I think you might be the only guy in this city who hasn’t read his stuff. Collin McCann is like the Carrie Bradshaw of Chicago men.”“You mean Terry Bradshaw,” Jack corrected.“No, Carrie,” Wilkins repeated. “You know, Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and the City.”A silence fell over the room as Collin and Jack stared at Wilkins, seriously fearing for the fate of men.

~ Julie James

Julie James Carrie Bradshaw Fbi Funny Humor Julie James Men Sex And The City Something About You Terry Bradshaw

I think I know why you never married, Sarah.Well, and I reckoned if I wanted something that'd come and go as he pleased, take me for granted, and ignore me when he chose, I'd get a cat. And if I wanted something I'd always have to be picking up after, getting into trouble, but slavishly devoted, I'd get a dog.

~ Mercedes Lackey

Mercedes Lackey Humor Men

If he's like any other man I've ever met, it's not my smile he's going to be looking at.

~ Brad Thor

Brad Thor Action Brad Thor Fiction Humor Life Men Scot Harvath Thriller

The wild women in his lap,' my father enthused, 'laying their breasts on his head.'There was a moment of stunned silence. Then my mother spoke slowly, with an edge to her voice. 'I think you mean wild beasts laying their heads in his lap.''Do I?

~ Patrick Rothfuss

Patrick Rothfuss Beasts Breasts Humor Humour Men Sex The Name Of The Wind Wild

Men are most virile and attractive between the ages of 35 and 55. Under 35 a man has too much to learn, and I don't have time to teach him.

~ Hedy Lamarr

Hedy Lamarr Age Humor Men

I have never seen a wrestling match or prize fight, and I don't want to. When I find out a man is interested in these sports, I drop him.

~ Hedy Lamarr

Hedy Lamarr Humor Men Wrestling

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.

~ John M. Gottman

John M. Gottman Business Crime Humor Inspirational Mafia

I have a business appointment that I am anxious... to miss.

~ Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde Business Humor

If it was my business, I wouldn't talk about it. It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbroker's do that, and then merely at dinner parties.

~ Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde Algernon Business Dinner Party Humor

Some PR is about getting information about a great product or thingy out to the people who would enjoy it, while other PR is about creating a web of lies that conceals the fact that your company harnesses the energy produced by rape and uses it to make a chemical that kills forests for fun. Either way, you're going to need it.

~ Eugene Mirman

Eugene Mirman Business Humor

I am yet to meet the idiot at whose door success arrived as a direct result of his refusal to invest in the enterprise that made him rich.

~ Jonathan Wutawunashe

Jonathan Wutawunashe Business Humor Motivational Inspirational

EWI: Emailing While Intoxicated

~ Kent Alan Robinson

Kent Alan Robinson Business Human Relationships Human Resources Humor Humorous Quotations Management Management And Leadership

Be a Flea, not a Bull or a Bear. Don't delay, retire anyway. Trading is NOT a four letter word. Buy carefully, sell aggressively. Don't mark duds while drinking. When your plan fails, change it. Don't be slow, don't be greedy. Don't be obtuse with a machine gun pointed at you. There's still time to build wealth and retire well.The Stock Market Flea: Lessons from the Front

~ James J. Houts

James J. Houts Business Humor Investing

Ty Inc.'s 1989 catalog had this on the back cover: Warning: If anyone dare copy our creative designs and patents without written permission, ownership of your eternal soul passes to us and we have the right to negotiate the sale of said soul. Furthermore, our attorneys will see to it that life on Earth, as you know it, is not worth living.

~ Zac Bissonnette

Zac Bissonnette Business Humor Legal

If it's glorious to fail in great attempts, then #gloriousfail should definitely be a thing.

~ Brandon David Hastings

Brandon David Hastings Business Humor Inspirational

Going to work every day was like my hair was on fire and all I had to put it out was a hammer.

~ Bethany Mclean

Bethany Mclean Business Humor

Never underestimate the staying power of a bad idea.

~ Rc Longworth

Rc Longworth Business Humor

Make project plan as simple as possible, but not simpler.

~ Gerry Geek

Gerry Geek Business Humor Management Project Project Manager

It has been my experience that, even when a man has a sense of humor, it only really carries him to the point where he will join in a laugh at the expense of the other fellow.

~ George Horace Lorimer

George Horace Lorimer Business Humor Jokes

Let’s form a committee tasked with exploring why committees are so ineffective. Then we’ll stand-back and watch it argue and self-destruct.

~ Ryan Lilly

Ryan Lilly Bureaucracy Business Committees Humor Leadership Management

If you KNOW that you’re FUCKED Then you’re NOT If you think that you’re NOT THEN YOU ARE!Isn’t that lovely? Iambic pentangle?

~ Martin Atkins

Martin Atkins Business Humor Inspirational

The greatest irony is that people with Rolodexes are no longer LinkedIn. And if that pun doesn't make sense, don’t ask anyone in your Rolodex to explain it.

~ Ryan Lilly

Ryan Lilly Business Connections Humor Irony Linkedin Networking Pun Relationships Rolodex

She’s such a bitch,” Tina says, which I find a little contradictory, but overall quite true. “She’s got to be in charge of everything.”I sit next to her. “Well, I guess. But in business, that’s leadership.”Tina stares at me for a second. “I can’t believe you consider that a positive trait. How about her inability to accept other points of view? Is it good leadership to be narrow, too?”“Focus,” I say. “They call that focus.”Tina stares at me. “Her paranoia?”“Business savvy.”“Compulsive need to have everything just how she wants it?”“Organizational skills.”“Aggressiveness?”“Aggressiveness,” I say, “is already a good thing.”“Jesus Christ,” Tina says, her eyebrow ring glinting in the morning sun. “Sometimes I worry about this country.

~ Max Barry

Max Barry Business Business Culture Humor

Life is all about exploring yourself, discovering yourself and grooming yourself, then you will surely stop negative thinking.

~ Ehabib

Ehabib Business Humor Independent Inspirational Integrity Intelligence Motivational Success

You're tough when you need to be, and you can charm the pants off men who have three times your experience. Well, yes. Although I try not to take advantage of that too often. Very awkward negotiating with people who are sitting around in their underwear.

~ Julie James

Julie James Business Humor

Banks are the temples of America. This is a holy war. Our economy is our religion.

~ Giannina Braschi

Giannina Braschi Business Humor Inspirational Politics Religion

Never underestimate the power of cookies.

~ Marisa Baggett

Marisa Baggett Food For Thought Humor

Each year comes with its own memories! Memories that make us ponder! Memories that shake our nerves and thought to think about things we did, things we could have done, things we should have done, the right time and timing for the yes and no we could have say with courage or humility, the right time and timing of our steps and things we should have never done! When you remember the year, you remember something! Something good or something bad!

~ Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah Food For Thought Footprints Humor Memories Ponder Reflections Regrets Of Yesterday Resolutions Reviews

What a paradox it is, the sane causes more problems than the insane! It is! The real problems of the world do not come from the insane but, the sane!

~ Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah Fallacy Fantasies Food For Thought Humor Insanity Life Life Issues Logic Logical Thinking Philosophy Problems Of Today Rationality Reasoning Sanity Thinkers Thought

Was I the only one who became unsettled and swoonish at the sight of a large, inverted carcass hanging from a tree, its vital organs strewn about like children's toys, the occasional pack of hunting dogs fighting over a lung, another one looking for a quiet place to enjoy the severed head? It happened all the time and nobody else seemed bothered. People just walked up to the bloody carcasses and carried on entirely normal conversations, as though a man wasn't standing there squeezing deer feces out of a large intestine and small children weren't playing football with a liver.

~ Harrison Scott Key

Harrison Scott Key Deer Food For Thought Humor Hunting The South

I love animals, especially with barbeque sauce.

~ J. Richard Singleton

J. Richard Singleton Carnivore Diet Food For Thought Humor Omnivore Vegan Vegetarian Vegetarianism

The king may rule the kingdom, but it's the queen who moves the board.

~ D.m. Timney

D.m. Timney Food For Thought Humor Strong Women The Way It Is Think About It

If everyone followed through on their resolutions, the conseqences for humanity would be dire: The fast food industry would collapse, the gyms would become unbearably crowded, and lifestyle magazines would have nothing left to say.

~ Amanda Foreman

Amanda Foreman Food For Thought Humor

Communism will kill you quicker than a maraschino cherry ever will.

~ Stephan Eirik Clark

Stephan Eirik Clark Communism Food Food For Thought Humor

Rule #3 - It's okay to believe yourself better than the rest of the planet, so long as you keep it to yourself.

~ Bisco Hatori

Bisco Hatori Humor Inspirational Life

See. I told you I would get that boy to the alter eventually. All I had to do was pretend I was a loon.

~ Olivia Parker

Olivia Parker Humor Inspirational Life Love
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