When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Cats Ceremony Clothes Clothing Future Grandfather Jarod Kintz Marriage Meow Meows Nothing Past Siamese Siamese Twins Twins

My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizard. And no one knows what French wizards are good at…

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Dead Elder Family French Ghost Gone Grandfather Jarod Kintz Love Magic Nothing Passing Away Passing On Wizard Wizardry Wizards

Wonders amaze me. They can aim wanderlessly in any forest, be it of dark trees or lighted bushes. And apparently, as per what I’ve heard, they can buy stuff that’s on sale, but only if and when they feel wonderfully wonderful. Because otherwise they wouldn’t really be themselves, which would be a problem for them, because if they aren’t what they are - they can’t exist, and if they don’t exist – that makes them invisible and silent to all the wandering people, who may or may not be looking for them to sell themselves to.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Amazed Amazement Amazing Bush Bushes Dark Existence Existing Finding Hearing Jarod Kintz Light Looking Nietzsche Nothing People Problem Problems Searching Seeking Silent Tree Trees Wanderer Wanderers Wandering Wonder Wonderfull Wonderous Wonders

I'm selling Jarod's life today. I mean virginity. He has no life. Email admin@allthegoodonesarealreadytaken.com for more information and please try to catch our special delivery at double-price deals, which will be posted somewhere on the internet at random, every other Tuesday, for half a night (on the previous day), unless it’s a Saturday, in which case you’ll have to wait and hope until the destined day comes and takes you away to heaven, which unfortunately, does not exist, except in the imagination of carefully selected individuals.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Deal Deals Delivery Heaven Imagination Individual Information Internet Jarod Kintz Nothing Packaging Price Priceless Prices Pricing Promotion Random Sale Virginity Waiting

Everything is like a wall. Said a scholar to the troll. Bang your head to go on through. Then you'll see, there is no queue.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Breakthrough Craft Defense Everything Head Jarod Kintz Line Lines Nothing Poem Poems Poetry Queue Queues Scholar Scholars School Schooling Seeing Sight Teaching Troll Troll Headhunters Trolling Trolls Waiting Wall Walls War Warcraft

If Jarod Kintz was a cat, he'd stalk people silently and deadly. Right now, all he does is bark at them for no good reason, like all the good people do.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Bark Barking Cat Cats Deadly Good Jarod Kintz People Proper Reason Reasoning Right Silent Stalking

If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly be better than him, to replace the missing spoke in your wheels.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Better Bicycle Bicycles Elderly Elderly People Grandfather Jarod Kintz Lacking Missing No One Nothing Old Old Age Possibility Possible Public Speaking Repair Repairs Service Services Spokesman Wheel Wheels

And I will wait for Jarod to work for me. For free, cause if it's paid, it's work and not love, unless, of course he loves to work, in which case he’ll surely love working for me, because I love people who love to do that to love to do that.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Certainty Free Internal Joke Internal Jokes Jarod Kintz Job Jobs Joke Jokes Nothing Paid People Sure Surely Waiting Work Working Workplace

When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Always Argument Battle Brain Fight Giving Jarod Kintz Lack Lacking Nothing Transplant Wit Wits Witty

Quinns always come at half price, about half the time, and half-naked, even during the colder half of winter. A Quinn is like a queen, but draggier, and cheaper to buy and use for personal gain, unless you’re suspicious that you’re poor and illiterate like Jarod Kintz, in which case Quinns could be the spirits of your dead relatives, come to haunt you until you gather a massive fortune through selling books on the internet, to send some back in time through a portal you bought from the NSA, so they would have lived better lives without having to move a finger for their fortune. Oh, yah, and since they aren’t - they’re blue, like smurfs, yet they turn purple whenever tickled on the belly, which is something they seem to rather dislike, since they start biting and scratching when it happens, for no good reason, I might add.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Addition Back Better Bite Biting Blue Books Cheap Cheapness Chill Chilly Cold Color Colour Dead Death Discount Dislike Dislikes Drag Queen Drag Queens Finger Fingers Fortune Gain Ghost Ghosts Half Price Haunt Haunted Haunting Hauntings Illiterate Improvement Internet Jarod Kintz Lives Massive Meow Naked Nakedness Nothing Nsa Personal Portal Portals Promotion Purple Qinn Queen Quinns Reasoning Relatives Scratch Scratches Scratching Smurfs Spirits Suspicious Tickle Tickled Tickling Time Travel Time Traveling Winter Writing

I flow like a butter in the nailed pan I stole. I also kept the nail, to polish and use as a means of teleportation.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Butter Dicktionary Float Flow Frying Frying Pan Humor Humour Inside Joke Inside Jokes Jarod Kintz Keeping Nail Nailed Nothing Pan Polish Polished Secret Shiny Steal Stealing Stolen Teleportation Thief Thievery Thieving

If you were to ask Jarod Kintz‬‬‬ what his personal favourite joke was, he'd say the one with the island. The big one next to New Zealand.-Stefan D and Jarod Kintz

~ Stefan D

Stefan D Best Favorite Favourite Island Jarod Kintz Joke