Derek Landy Quotes

My wife was saying to me just the other day how she's noticed a spring in my step lately. That was because I thought you were gone forever.' 'I missed you too, Thurid.

~ Derek Landy

Well,” her mother said, looking at the engine, “at least that’s still there.”Do you know anything about engines? Stephanie asked.That’s why I have a husband, so I don't have to. Engines and shelves, that’s why men were invented.Stephanie made a mental note to learn about engines before she turned eighteen. She wasn't too fussed about the shelves.

~ Derek Landy

Which college?''Hmm?''Which college do you go to?'Fletcher nodded. 'Yes.''I'm sorry?''Oh,' Fletcher said, and laughed.Valkyrie's parents looked at Fletcher in near bewilderment. Fletcher looked back at them in total bewilderment. Valkyrie shook her head.

~ Derek Landy

Right, well, we've got to work out what we need. We've got to work out what we need, how we get it, and what we need to get to get what we need.

~ Derek Landy

Do you think we’ll be waiting long?” Valkyrie asked,keeping her voice low.“The last time we were in this building, we accused theGrand Mage of being a traitor,” Skulduggery said. “Yes, I thinkwe’ll be waiting long.

~ Derek Landy

He could wear hats. He could wear an assortment of hats of different shapes and styles. Boater hats, cowboy hats, bowler hats. The list went on. Pork-pie hats, bucket hats, trillbies and panamas. Top hats, straw hats, trapper hats. Wide brim narrow brim, stingy brim. He could wear a fez. Fezzes were cool. Hadn't someone once said that fezzes were cool? He was pretty aur ether had. And they were. They were cool.

~ Derek Landy

Grand Mage,” Ghastly said, as he put the map away, “did you know the sparrow flies south for the winter?”“What an odd thing to say,” Ravel said, and as he turned, he snapped his palm against the air and Paloma slammed into the wall.”…..“What do you know,” Ravel said, breathing a little faster, “Skulduggery’s silly little code actually works.”“Grand Mage,” Ghastly said, as he put the map away, “did you know the sparrow flies south for the winter?”“What an odd thing to say,” Ravel said, and as he turned, he snapped his palm against the air and Paloma slammed into the wall.”…..“What do you know,” Ravel said, breathing a little faster, “Skulduggery’s silly little code actually works.

~ Derek Landy

That's ridiculous. The only point in having enemies is so you can defeat them, kill them, brush them aside.Or give them a chance to redeem themselves.

~ Derek Landy

Ravel said. “And I order people around really well. This morning, Tipstaff came over with a cup of tea and I told him no, I don’t want tea I want coffee. That was great. I really asserted my authority.”“Did he go and get you a coffee?”“No, he said he’d already made a pot of tea so I took the tea because, you know he’d already made it, but my authority was still firmly asserted.”Ghastly nodded. “He’ll think twice about making tea again.”“That he will, Ghastly my friend, that he will. What are we looking for, by the way?“Seriously? I gave you the file half an hour ago.”“Yes, you did.”“And did you read it?”“No, I did not.

~ Derek Landy

It's not so bad.Melancholia looked at her. You're lying.I'll get used to it. So will you.I... I don't think I'll be able to.I'll be there to help when you need it.But I hate you.Valkyrie smiled. No you don't.No, I do. I want to kill you and stuff.We actually became friends in those caves.That's not what happened, said Melancholia.We're pals. We're buddies.” If my wrists weren't in shackles, my hands would be round your throat.You want to hug my throat because we're friends.

~ Derek Landy

Valkyrie stood there and waited for her to start making sense.There is a vegetable-plant hybrid we've been working on, modifying the genes and receptors, mutating the proteins and acids so that they are, in effect, neurotransmitters. Our work on the synapses alone has been quite illuminating.Valkyrie stood there and waited for her to start making sense.

~ Derek Landy

He things we think he's a double agent, working for them but secretly working for us. He doesn't know we know he's a triple agent, working for them but secretly working for us but really he's secretly working for them. Dexter, how's your brain?Hurting.

~ Derek Landy

Night descended on Roarhaven like a woolly blanket of blackness with holes in it that were the stars.

~ Derek Landy

Please don't arrest me.Listen to me, I'm not going to arrest you, ok? I'm not a cop.Are you sure?Am I sure I'm not a cop? yes, I'm sure.You could be undercover.

~ Derek Landy

You promise?I cross the place where my heart used to be and wish to be even more deader than I am now.

~ Derek Landy

I can't tell you how may beautiful women have broken up with me because they were bored. I can't tell you because it never happened. They all adored me. It was your humility, wasn't it?

~ Derek Landy

This isn't the first time I've used this, and the test subject showed no signs of impaired cognitive ability.Who was the test subject? asked Aurora.I test everything out on myself before taking it into the field.She stared at him. You zapped your own brain?And it didn't do me any harm apart from the dizziness and the vomiting spells and the weirdly persistent ringing in my ears. Also the blackouts and the mood swings and the creeping paranoia. Apart from that, zero side effects, if you don't count the numb fingertips. Which I don't.

~ Derek Landy

What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our

~ Derek Landy

He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger.

~ Derek Landy

No one likes sarcasm, Miss Cain. I’ve merely delayed my exit to promise you something. You took my straight razor, li’l darlin’. That I view as an unforgivable offense. So when the time comes, when you have served your purpose, I swear to you I’m gonna kill you for free.” And with that, Billy-Ray Sanguine disappeared into the ground. Then he popped his head back up. “Or at least half price.” And he was gone again.

~ Derek Landy

I was going straight for Mantis, but then that bloody gas got in my eyes and, I don't know, some massive bloke reared up in front of me. I hit him, but I swear, it was like hiting a wall.Gracious nodded. You hit a wall.Maybury blinked at him. I what?I saw it. You ran into a cloud of gas and stumbled around for a second until you reached a wall, and then you shrieked and punched it. It was very heroic.

~ Derek Landy

You're not used to early mornings, are you?He shook his head. Early mornings were invented by the system to keep the people occupied. But not me. I'm on to them. They're not gonna catch me napping. Metaphorically, like. Obviously, they can catch me physically napping like, four or five times a day, but, metaphorically, I am so far beyond their reach.

~ Derek Landy

The Engineer smiled (internally, for of course it had no mouth). It was feeling good. It was feeling optimistic. Moving at its current speed, it would arrive back in Ireland in plenty of time to shut everything down before a series of overloads and power loops inevitably led to a sequence of events which would, in turn, eventually lead to the probable destruction of the world. The Engineer wasn't worried.And then the truck hit it.

~ Derek Landy

What are you doing?I'm, uh, acting normal.No you're not. You're acting like someone pretending to be normal. Stop pretending and start acting, but don't act like you're not pretending, that'll make it worse.

~ Derek Landy

Hmmm... that's interesting.What?There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun.

~ Derek Landy

Just a few questions for you, Mr. Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we've become friends in these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?

~ Derek Landy

You think Bernadette Maguire killed him?”“Uh… no. She’s, like I said, she’s old.”“Old people can kill people too.”“I know, but…”“She could be a ninja.”“She’s not a ninja, for God’s sake. She’s somebody’s great grandmother.”“I want you to think carefully about this, Kenny. Have you ever seen her with a sword?”“What?”“How about throwing stars?”“This is ridiculous.”“Have you ever seen her dressed up as a ninja? That would have been my first clue.”The girl sucked in her cheeks so she wouldn't laugh out loud.

~ Derek Landy