Ilona Andrews Quotes

Breaking into the house in the middle of the night just wasn't his style. He did his best work in plain view, and, usually, his tongue was doing most

~ Ilona Andrews

She put her hand on her hip. Where are you going?To the boat. You called me Lord Bill again. That means we're cool.Cerise slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand and followed him.

~ Ilona Andrews

An evil spark flared in his eyes. Trade: raccoon for some answers.

~ Ilona Andrews

How can it not exist? What does that—” A tiny grey body shot in front of the Land Rover. “Squirrel!”Mad Rogan swerved to the side, trying to avoid the suicidal beast. The SUV hit a curb and jumped. For a terrifying second, we almost flew, weightless. My heart leaped into my throat. The heavy vehicle landed back on the pavement with a thud. The squirrel leapt into the grass on the other side.I remembered to breathe. “Thank you for not killing the squirrel.”“You’re welcome, although now I want to go back and strangle it.

~ Ilona Andrews

He chuckled into my hair. My body decided this would be a fine moment to remember that his body was wrapped around mine and his body was muscular, hard, and hot, and my butt was pressed against his groin. Cuddled up by a dragon. No, thank you. Let me off this train.“If you keep wiggling, things might get uncomfortable,” he said into my ear, his voice like a caress. “I’m doing my best, but thinking about baseball only takes you so far.

~ Ilona Andrews

Shit Bug said, his face sour. It's that thing again. We've been dealing with it since Pierce. You think you have a lead and then poof - he made a puffing motion with his fingers - it melts into nothing and all you have is frustration and the far noise your face makes when you hit you desk with it.Fart.... what?

~ Ilona Andrews

I squinted at her. “You’re an adult.” “You’re an adult too.” “But you’re an older adult. You’ve had more practice.” Mom leaned back and laughed.

~ Ilona Andrews

I want gifts and Christmas music. I don’t care how many Draziri are out there. They won’t take Christmas from me.”“Yes, but we don’t have a suitable male,” Orro said. “And only one dog.”I looked at him.“What is this Christmas?” Wing asked.Orro turned from the stove. “It’s the rite of passage during which the young males of the human species learn to display aggression and use weapons.”Sean stopped what he was doing and looked at Orro.“The young men go out in small packs,” Orro continued. “They brave the cold and come into conflict with other packs and they have to prove their dominance through physical combat. Their fathers teach them lessons in the proper use of swear words, and the young men have to undergo tests of endurance, like holding soap in their mouths and licking cold metal objects.”Sean made a strangled noise.“At the end of their trials, they go to see a wise elder in a red suit to prove their worth. If they are judged worthy, the family erects a ceremonial tree and presents them with gifts of weapons.”Sean was clearly struggling, because his head was shaking.“Also,” Orro added, “a sacrificial poultry is prepared and then given to the wild animals, probably to appease the nature spirits.”Sean roared with laughter.

~ Ilona Andrews

Her philosophy was, if it had a pulse, it could be killed. I didn’t really have a philosophy, but I could see how talking with the school director would be difficult for her. If he said something she didn’t like, chopping him to tiny pieces wouldn’t exactly help me get into the school.

~ Ilona Andrews

When she looked at him with those dark eyes, Nassar felt the urge to say something intelligent and deeply impressive. Unfortunately, nothing of the kind came to mind.

~ Ilona Andrews

Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”“Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”“Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.

~ Ilona Andrews

You’re like a god from a Greek myth, Saiman. You have no empathy. You have no concept of the world beyond your ego. Wanting something gives you an automatic right to obtain it by whatever means necessary with no regard to the damage it may do. I would be careful if I were you. Friends and objects of deities’ desires dropped like flies. In the end the gods always ended up miserable and alone.— Kate Daniels

~ Ilona Andrews

Leaving what is safe so you can be more, Derek said. The cage is what the bird knows; the sky is all the things he still wants to do even if it's a risk.

~ Ilona Andrews

Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'I stared at him, shocked. The smile widened. You will say 'please' before and 'thank you' after. Nervous laughter bubbled up. You've gone insane. All that peroxide in your hair finally did your brain in, Goldilocks.

~ Ilona Andrews

He plugged the phone into the outlet.It rang. Roman stared at it as if it were a viper. The phone rang again. He unplugged it. “There.” “It can’t be that bad,” I told him. “Oh, it’s bad.” Roman nodded. “My dad refused to help my second sister buy a house, because he doesn’t like her boyfriend. My mother called him and it went badly. She cursed him. Every time he urinates, the stream arches up and over.

~ Ilona Andrews

I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy.

~ Ilona Andrews

So far I had the god of evil and the god of terror on my side. My good-guy image was taking a serious beating. Maybe I should recruit some unicorns or kittens with rainbow powers to even us out.

~ Ilona Andrews

Yes,” Curran said. “We’d like you to officiate.”“I’m sorry?”“We’d like you to marry us,” I said.Roman’s eyes went wide. He pointed to himself. “Me?”“Yes,” Curran said.“Marry you?”“Yes.”“You do know what I do, right?”“Yes,” I said. “You’re Chernobog’s priest.

~ Ilona Andrews

We have to stop anyway. I don't want you to regret this later. And I don't want your head to explode.Really? You're so good that my head would explode?It took him a moment. His expression changed from intense to speculative. It's a possibility. I'm not a doctor, but Doolittle says it could happen.That's a lot of expectation to live up to.I exceed expectations.So modest, too.

~ Ilona Andrews

Sex is about physical attraction, yes, but it's also about trust. I don't trust you. You're completely self-absorbed and egoistic. You offer nothing I want.

~ Ilona Andrews

Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics.

~ Ilona Andrews

I trusted her about as far as I could throw her. I was strong and she was small, but it still wasn't very far.

~ Ilona Andrews

Our relationship had been doomed form the start, because it was based on grief, and unlike love, grief eventually passed.

~ Ilona Andrews

Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature.

~ Ilona Andrews

You will show that thing to me and from now on, I will deal with them.I opened my eyes really wide and fluttered my eyelashes at him. I'm sorry, I must've missed your coronation ceremony. Silly me.

~ Ilona Andrews

I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out 'The Leader of the Southern Shapechanger Faction.' What should I call you?Lord.I rolled my eyes.He shrugged. It's short.

~ Ilona Andrews

No more tubs for me. I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. They make me lose all sense.Curran sprawled on the bed with a big self-satisfied smile. Want to know a secret?Sure.It's not the bathtub, baby.Well, aren't we smug. I picked up the corner of the lowest mattress and made a show of looking under it.What are you looking for?A pea Your Majesty.What?You heard me.I jumped back as he lunged and his fingers missed me by an inch.Getting slow in your old age.I thought you liked it slow.A flashback to last night mugged me and my mind executed a full stop.He laughed. Ran out of snappy comebacks?Hush. I'm trying to think of one.

~ Ilona Andrews

You want me to go back into that house protected by a magic sticky note?”“Don’t even start,” I told him. “It’s working. If it weren’t working, you couldn’t drag me into that place.”“What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?”“No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an a-hole!’” I headed for the house.“On yours or mine?”“On yours.”“Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.

~ Ilona Andrews

Failure happened. The trick was to accept the risk and try anyway.

~ Ilona Andrews

Sh!t. F_ck sh!t.'....'Sh!t f_ck would have also been accepted.

~ Ilona Andrews

Andrea: ....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix.Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.

~ Ilona Andrews

Sophie raised her head. Light filtering through the trees dappled her face. “Hawk.”Charlotte looked up as well. A bird of prey soared above the treetops, circling around them.“It’s dead,” Sophie said. “George is guiding it. He is very powerful.”The realization washed over Charlotte in a cold gush of embarrassment. “Is George spying on Richard and me?”“Always,” Sophie said. “All those perfect manners are a sham. He spies on everyone and everything. Declan hasn’t been able to conduct a single business meeting in the past year without George’s knowing all the details. He does let go when you make love. He is a prude.”“‘Prude’ is a coarse word. He has a sense of tact,” Charlotte corrected before she caught herself.“A sense of tact,” Sophie repeated, tasting the words. “Thank you. The other one is somewhere around here, too.”“The other one?”Sophie surveyed the woods. “I can smell you, Jack!”“No, you can’t,” a distant voice answered

~ Ilona Andrews

So you want me to track down a supernaturally fast sniper who can disappear into thin air, retrieve your maps, and do it so nobody finds out what I'm doing or why?''Exactly.'I sighed. 'I'll get the paperwork.

~ Ilona Andrews

Dina, I’m bored,” Caldenia announced.Too bad. I guaranteed her safety, not entertainment. “What about your game?”Her Grace gave me a shrug. “I’ve beaten it five times on the Deity setting. I’ve reducedParis to ashes because Napoleon annoyed me. I’ve eradicated Gandhi. I’ve crushed George Washington. Empress Wu had potential, so I eliminated her before we even cleared Bronze Age. The Egyptians are my pawns. I dominate the planet. Oddly, I find myself mildly fascinated by Genghis Khan. A shrewd and savage warrior, possessing a certain magnetism. I left him with a single city, and I periodically make ridiculous demands that I know he can’t meet so I can watch him squirm.

~ Ilona Andrews

. . . hated each other so much their feud had become legendary. Half the jokes in the galaxy started with “a vampire and an otrokar walk into a bar….

~ Ilona Andrews

Anger - a better alternative to caffeine.

~ Ilona Andrews

It seems that we had...not a better education, per se, but perhaps more incentive to use it. They learn, but they hardly think.

~ Ilona Andrews

No, it's human, Curran said. That's the problem. People, especially unhappy people, want a cause. They want something to belong to, to be a part of something great and bigger, and to be led. It's easy to be a cog in a machine: you don't have to think, you have no responsibility. You're just following orders. Doing as your told.

~ Ilona Andrews

What did I tell you about plastic ties? Only for humans, Julie murmured.If you don't listen to me, I can't teach you anything.

~ Ilona Andrews

The last time Assistant Principal Parker called, a girl in the school's locker room had accused Julie of being a whore during the two years she'd spent on the street. My kid took exception to that and decided to communicate that by applying a chair to the offending party's head. I'd told her to go for the gut next time- it left less evidence.

~ Ilona Andrews