I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.

~ George Carlin

George Carlin Cliché Humor Individuality Retort

Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

~ Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa Hair Humor Retort

I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule.

~ Shannon Hale

Shannon Hale Humor Retort Sarcasm Stubborn Superpower

An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea. Churchill's response, Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.

~ Winston S. Churchill

Winston S. Churchill Classic Insult Humor Humour Retort

It is never ridicule, but a compliment, that knocks a philosopher off his feet. He is already positioned for every possible counter-attack, counter-argument, and retort...only to find a big bear hug coming his way.

~ Criss Jami

Criss Jami Anticipation Apologetics Apologists Argumentation Arguments Attack Bear Compliment Counter Counter Argument Defense Evangelism Evangelism Apologetics Evangelists Hugs Philosophers Philosophy Retort Ridicule Theologians Theology

(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.

~ Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett Comebacks Funny And Random Humor Humorous Retort Satire Wit Witty

I don't care whose son he is. I won't go belly-up like a timid pup. If he's fool enough to take a poke at me, I'll snap the finger clean off that does the poking.

~ Patrick Rothfuss

Patrick Rothfuss Anger Argue Attack Attitude Authority Defend Fight Fool Offense Poke Position Prick Pride Prod Quarrel Repulse Respond Retort Rile Title

Caro: Bite me.Ruby: I gave that up in kindergarten.

~ Kristin Hannah

Kristin Hannah Retort Sarcasm Wit

A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

~ Winston S. Churchill

Winston S. Churchill Apocryphal Attributed No Source Classic Insult Drinking Drunkenness Retort

You want me to invite him to dinner.” “I want you to invite him to dinner,” she agreed. “You know,” he said, “most gay men don’t have mothers who are this enthusiastic about their love lives.” “That’s probably true,” she said. “You’re one of the lucky ones.

~ Matthew Haldeman-Time

Matthew Haldeman-Time Humor Retort Wit

Ranta: Let's just pray that she actually is a tsundere... Though, if she were a tsundere, obviously, the one she'd go dere for is me, you know? That's kind of... not so bad, I guess?Moguzo: O-Obviously, she wouldn't go dere for Ranta, I think...Ranta: Oh, shut up, Moguzo!

~ Ao Jyumonji

Ao Jyumonji Comeback Retort Tsundere Witty Witty Comeback Witty Comebacks