Witty Quotes

Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman's breasts, it enhances their charm by making them look lived in and happy.

~ Robert A. Heinlein

Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro.

~ Rucy Ban

The important question is, what will your wear for a wedding dress, Alexia? You look horrible in white.

~ Gail Carriger

Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you'll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.

~ Scott Lynch

It was the day he learned that smart, witty girls were brighter than sunlight.

~ Olivia Fuller

Can you tell me the difference between a witch and a wizard?Sure, a wizard is what they call you when they want to hire you, and a witch is what they call you when they're getting ready to run you out of town.

~ Barbara Hambly

Anything can happen in love, war and South Inidan movies.

~ Jennifer Bernard

Think of something clever, witty or profound, keep it short and people may quote you.

~ Bobby Darnell

State your point. If the opposite party doesn't agree, state it harder- with a punch.

~ Jennifer Bernard

Carla was wearing a No Fear sweatshirt. You are too old, Amy wanted to tell her, for legible clothing.

~ Jincy Willett

But have you ever seen one?....They shook their heads. Not Physically, no. But if you look at this passage - Man, she liked that Bible. I'd read it and could definitely understand it's appeal, but I didn't have time for this.

~ Darynda Jones

Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.

~ Jasper Fforde

Your brother Jaime keeps losing battles. He gave Sansa an angry look, as if it were her fault. He’s been taken by the Starks and we’ve lost Riverrun and now her stupid brother is calling himself a king.The dwarf smiled crookedly. “All sorts of people are calling themselves kings these days.

~ George R.r. Martin

One of the great advantages ofhaving a library,your eminence,is that it is full of books.

~ Michael Hirst

(…) Trying to think of how to take the least crowded ways to class, so the least amount of people will stare at the hole in my neck. Sometimes it feels like it has a beacon in it, flashing for the entire world to see, except it's not cool like the Bat signal.

~ Keary Taylor

Forgive me. It was stupid of me to think you might need company, when clearly all you required was that decanter.”“It was not stupid. It was very kind. Quite soft, actually. A very warm, womanly gesture. I am touched.” He smiled softly. “However, if you truly want to help, if you really want to distract me, there are better ways. When I saw that dress, I dared hope you had realized that.

~ Madeline Hunter

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony.

~ Maurice Sendak

Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.

~ William Congreve

I've worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn't make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there's an edge to that kind of humanity.

~ Ciaran Hinds

Wit is the appearance, the external flash of imagination. Thus its divinity, and the witty character of mysticism.

~ Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.

~ Francis Bacon

I wouldn't even dare read the Torah, let alone attempt a witty observation on the Torah.

~ Charles Grodin