Famous Quotes

But, of course, you might be asking yourself, 'Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don't know! I still don't know what it is! I'm too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn't up! I don't have time to work out if I am a women's libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?'I understand. So here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hand in your pants.a) Do you have a vagina? andb) Do you want to be in charge of it?If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist.

~ Caitlin Moran

Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled.I'd finally found something Eric did poorly.

~ Charlaine Harris

Tomorrow is promised to no one.

~ Clint Eastwood

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

~ George Bernard Shaw

Be kind to dragons, for thou art crunchy when toasted and taste good with ketchup. (Sebastian)

~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!

~ Lewis Carroll

You! You tricked me! I never want to see you or that bottle of liquid arsenic again!”I chucked the empty moonshine jug at him. Or tried to. It missed him by a dozen feet.He picked it up in astonishment. “You drank the whole bloody thing? You were only supposed to have a few sips!”“Did you say that? Did you?” He reached me just as I felt the ground tip. “Didn’t say anything. I’ve got those names, so that’s all that matters, but you men…you’re all alike. Alive, dead, undead—all perverts! I had a drunken pervert in my pants! Do you know how unsanitary that is?”Bones held me upright. I would have protested, but I couldn’t remember how to. “What are you saying?”“Winston poltergeisted my panties, that’s what!” I announced with a loud hiccup.“Why, you scurvy, lecherous spook!” Bones yelled in the direction of the cemetery. “If my pipes still worked, I’d go right back there and piss on your grave!

~ Jeaniene Frost

Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. By the same token, though, I suppose that boulders and mountains and moons could be accused of being a little too phlegmatic.

~ Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends.

~ Scott Dikkers

I made this [letter] very long, because I did not have the leisure to make it shorter.

~ Blaise Pascal

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.

~ Ellen Degeneres

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.

~ Dale Carnegie

MenThey hail you as their morning starBecause you are the way you are.If you return the sentiment,They'll try to make you different;And once they have you, safe and sound,They want to change you all around.Your moods and ways they put a curse on;They'd make of you another person.They cannot let you go your gait;They influence and educate.They'd alter all that they admired.They make me sick, they make me tired.

~ Dorothy Parker

What’s your name?' she asked, and surprised herself. But for some reason, she wanted to know.Dean’s brother—he hadn’t been just some nameless Bad Guy Number Four. This vampire wasn’t, either. He had a name, a history, maybe even people who cared what happened to him.'My name is none of your business,' he said, and continued to stare out the window, even though there was nothing but blurry brick out there.'Can I call you None for short?

~ Rachel Caine

I was supposed to write a romantic comedy, but my characters broke up.

~ Ann Brashares

Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?Ford: We're safe.Arthur: Oh good.Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet. that I wasn't previously aware of.

~ Douglas Adams

In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.

~ Oscar Wilde

Arthur blinked at the screens and felt he was missing something important. Suddenly he realized what it was.Is there any tea on this spaceship? he asked.

~ Douglas Adams

Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking towards Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty To Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You've Given Them A Good Thumping but secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People travelled with them.

~ Neil Gaiman

Fiction was invented the day Jonah arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale..

~ Gabriel García Márquez

Down in the water, Octavian yelled, “Get me out of here! I’ll kill you!”“Tempting,” Percy called down.

~ Rick Riordan

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

~ W.c. Fields

Peter, you're twelve years old. I'm ten. They have a word for people our age. They call us children and they treat us like mice.

~ Orson Scott Card

But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two.

~ A.a. Milne

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

~ Ogden Nash

Beds empty! No note! Car gone — could have crashed — out of my mind with worry — did you care? — never, as long as I’ve lived — you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy —Perfect Percy,” muttered Fred. —”It seemed to go on for hours. Mrs. Weasley had shouted herself hoarse before she turned on Harry, who backed away.“I’m very pleased to see you, Harry, dear,” she said.

~ J.k. Rowling

Basically, everyone thinks--knows--how sweet I am.Emma, you threw my sister through hurricane-proof glass.

~ Anna Banks

Kenji snorts.“That’s because you’re not fragile,” Kenji says. “If anything, everyone needs to protect themselves from you. You’re like a freaking beast,” he says. Then adds, “I mean, you know—like, a cute beast. A little beast that tears shit up and breaks the earth and sucks the life out of people.

~ Tahereh Mafi

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

We're actors — we're the opposite of people!

~ Tom Stoppard

Go back to bed, America. Your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control again. Here. Here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up. Go back to bed, America. Here is American Gladiators. Here is 56 channels of it! Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. Here you go, America! You are free to do what we tell you! You are free to do what we tell you!

~ Bill Hicks

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

~ René Descartes

Me and Katy look adorkable in extraterrestrialhighway shirts. You would just look stupid. You can thank me later.

~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

James - Are you paying attention or just trying to make me look like an idoit?Elizabeth - Oh, I'm definately paying attention. If you look like an idiot it has nothing to do with me.

~ Julia Quinn

You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.

~ George Carlin

Usually my form of turning someone down was shoving a stake through his heart while smirking, Gotcha!

~ Jeaniene Frost

No brain at all, some of them [people], only grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake, and they don't Think.

~ A.a. Milne

If you're going to make a science fiction movie, then have a hover craft chase, for God's sake.

~ Joss Whedon

Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.

~ Tina Fey

Kat laughed. 'Who wants to live forever?'Kish put his hand up. 'For the record, I do.'Sin scowled at him. 'Then why do you irritate me so often?'Suicidal tendencies are inherent in my species?

~ Sherrilyn Kenyon