Famous Quotes

I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.

~ Arthur Conan Doyle

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.

~ Douglas Macarthur

Sometimes I think I must have a Guardian Idiot. A little invisible spirit just behind my shoulder, looking out for me...only he's an imbecile.

~ Spider Robinson

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.

~ Peter De Vries

Evey Hammond: Who are you? V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask. Evey Hammond: Well I can see that. V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is

~ Alan Moore

He looked back at her, and when she saw the look on his face, she saw his eyes at Renwick’s, when he had watched the Portal that separated him from his home shatter into a thousand irretrievable pieces. He held her gaze for a split second, then looked away from her, the muscles in his throat working.

~ Cassandra Clare

The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.

~ John Bingham

Room service? Send up a larger room.]

~ Groucho Marx

What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger. Now we answer, “What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?”“No, it’s Becky. I just called to say hi.”“Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work?

~ Ellen Degeneres

Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.

~ Scott Dikkers

Are you an idiot, or an idiot?' Gargarin hissed.'The first one. I really resent being called the second.

~ Melina Marchetta

Any customer can have a car painted any colour that he wants so long as it is black.

~ Henry Ford

Katsa and Po were trying to drown each other and, judging from their hoots of laughter, enjoying it immensely.

~ Kristin Cashore

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

~ Darynda Jones

Housework can kill you if done right.

~ Erma Bombeck

I am not sure I trust you.You can trust me with your life, My King.But not with my wine, obviously. Give it back.

~ Megan Whalen Turner

Kitten, this is my best mate, Charles, but you can call him Spade. Charles, this is Cat, the woman I’ve been telling you about. You can see for yourself that everything I’ve said is…an understatement.

~ Jeaniene Frost

Gabi to Marcus I can't believe out of one hundred thousand sperm, you were the fastest!

~ Cherise Sinclair

What...what about when I'm married?”“We'll buy a cot. Your husband can sleep on that when he visits.

~ Stephanie Perkins

She'd absolutely adored the library_an entire building where anyone could take things they didn't own and feel no remorse about it.

~ Ally Carter

My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.

~ Chelsea Handler

Have you made any other friends since we've been here?I gave him the death stare. Yes, actually.Who? I want a name.Jamie Roth.The Ebola kid? I heard he's a little unstable.That was one incident.

~ Michelle Hodkin

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

~ Steve Martin

The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.

~ Terry Pratchett

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

~ Mel Brooks

I hugged him without any kind of fear or self-consciousness, fiercely, with a rush of emotion that almost brought tears to my eyes.I could kiss you! Chubs cried.Please don't! I gasp out, feeling his arms tighten around my ribs to the point of cracking them.

~ Alexandra Bracken

It is one of those lessons that every child should learn: Don't play with fire, sharp objects, or ancient artifacts.

~ Patricia Briggs

Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don't know what it is. Well I do. It's apathy. That's the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives a Fuck.

~ David Wong

Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!

~ Jonathan Safran Foer

If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

~ Bill Watterson

The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.

~ Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra

Sigh?Eye roll

~ Colleen Hoover

It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

~ Mark Twain

Hell may have all the best composers, but heaven has all the best choreographers.

~ Neil Gaiman

Can you define plan as a loose sequence of manifestly inadequate observations and conjectures, held together by panic, indecision, and ignorance? If so, it was a very good plan.

~ Jonathan Stroud

I glanced up to see Liz and smiled. Thank you. I just went along for the ride. After that happened- She waved at Derek. You know how blind people need Seeing Eye dogs? Well, apparently werewolves could really use Opening Door poltergeists.

~ Kelley Armstrong

I'm too young, too smart and too good-looking to die.

~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

I really believe, or want to believe, really I am nuts, otherwise I'll never be sane.

~ Allen Ginsberg

When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.

~ Mark Twain

An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.

~ Albert Einstein