Not long ago Congress voted, with much patriotic rhetoric, for the imposition of severe penalties upon anyone presuming to burn the flag of the United States. Yet the very Congressmen who passed this law are responsible, by acts of commission or omission, for burning, polluting, and plundering the territory that the flag is supposed to represent. Therein, they exemplified the peculiar andperhaps fatal fallacy of civilization: the confusion of symbol with reality.
~ Alan W. Watts
Far too many Americans formulate their own personal expert opinions based on the Golden Rule and the Eight-second Soundbyte.
~ Chris Penningroth
The commandment was to ‘Love thy neighbor,’ not ‘Love thy government.
I do know a few things, actually. I know you have rather backwards laws about relations with non-magic people. That you're not mean to befriend them, that you can't marry them, which seems mildly absurd to me.
~ J.k. Rowling
Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation.
~ George Carlin
Hillary has the brains of someone who was born yesterday and the body of someone who died last week.
~ Donald Trump's Hair
Most politicians lie for the same reason a monkey swings by his tail, which is to say because he can.
~ Stephen King
Word of the day- kakistocracy. From the Greek meaning government by the worst persons, least qualified or most unprincipled.
~ Peggy Noonan
IT (The country) IS HEADED TOWARD OVERSIMPLIFICATION. YOU WANT TO SEE A PRESIDENT OF THE FUTURE? TURN ON ANY TELEVISION ON ANY SUNDAY MORNING - FIND ONE OF THOSE HOLY ROLLERS: THAT'S HIM, THAT'S THE NEW MISTER PRESIDENT! AND DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE FUTURE OF ALL THOSE KIDS WHO ARE GOING TO FALL IN THE CRACKS OF THIS GREAT, BIG, SLOPPY SOCIETY OF OURS? I JUST MET HIM; HE'S A TALL, SKINNY, FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD BOY NAMED DICK. HE'S PRETTY SCARY. WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM IS NOT UNLIKE WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE TV EVANGELIST - OUR FUTURE PRESIDENT. WHAT'S WRONG WITH BOTH OF THEM IS THAT THEY'RE SO SURE THEY'RE RIGHT! THAT'S PRETTY SCARY - THE FUTURE, I THINK, IS PRETTY SCARY.
~ John Irving
There was no whimsical ‘sip of wine at Thanksgiving’ for us kids while we were still teenagers. This was the Clinton era, and my parents were already worried about the moral deterioration of the country.
~ Mindy Kaling
It is in the midst of laughter that our perspective alters and we realize this trying life can still be enjoyed.
~ Richelle E. Goodrich
I don't have any special talents, just an ordinary desire to live like a human being.
~ Mikhail Bulgakov
Is it time for your period, or somet
~ Linda Howard
Women are constantly trying to commit suicide for love, but generally they take care not to succeed.
~ W. Somerset Maugham
First rule of cleavage: it's not how low you go, but where and when you show.
~ Elisabeth Dale
The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask me, What if a man tries to be part of the home -- will the woman let him? I answer yes. Because the he becomes one of the children.
~ Marguerite Duras
When exactly did every housewife in America become a whore?
~ Chuck Klosterman
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
~ Phyllis Diller
I do not scruple to employ mendacity and a fictitious appearance of female incompetence when the occasion demands it.
~ Elizabeth Peters
Lucifer will be furious with you for failing, but it's not like he can do anything about it. Women don't always do what you want, even if you're Lord of the Underworld.
~ Trinity Faegen
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
~ E.w. Howe
Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.
~ Janet Evanovich
I was seducing shepherdesses when you weren't a twinkle in your great-grandcestor's eyes. I think I know what I'm doing.
~ Jim Butcher
Over time, I have realized that at 20, you can wear too much makeup and people assume you're a slut. Do it at 40 and they think you're a sea witch.
~ Melodie Ramone
I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.
~ Steven Wright
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense
~ Chris Rock
Do you have a little white dress? I've had this deep-seated nurse fantasy about you, Murphy.
I profess not to know how women’s hearts are wooed and won. To me they have always been matters of riddle and admiration. Some seem to have but one vulnerable point, or door of access; while others have a thousand avenues, and may be captured in a thousand different ways. It is a great triumph of skill to gain the former, but a still greater proof of generalship to maintain possession of the latter, for man must battle for his fortress at every door and window. He who wins a thousand common hearts is therefore entitled to some renown; but he who keeps undisputed sway over the heart of a coquette is indeed a hero.
~ Washington Irving
It's only through sheer force and luck that she's yet to take over the world.
~ Julia Quinn
Gruff,” I said, “I find myself largely clueless about why mortal women do what they do. It will take a wiser man than me to understand what’s in a fae woman’s mind.
Besides, when I look around me at the men, I feel that God never meant us women to be too particular.
~ Marie Jenney Howe
There's a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don't look the way they used to, and it's not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It's because of hair dye. In the 1950's only 7 percent of American women dyed their hair; today there are parts of Manhattan and Los Angeles where there are no gray-haired women at all.
~ Nora Ephron
Cheap jewelry, however, is worse than no jewelry at all, and there are very few things in life than are worse than no jewelry at all.
~ Jill Conner Browne
Everybody must be managed. Queens must be managed. Kings must be managed, for men want managing almost as much as women, and that's saying a good deal.
~ Thomas Hardy
...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says women aren't funny,' or 'Rick Fenderman says women aren't funny... Do you have anything to say to that?'Yes. We don't fucking care if you like it.I don't say it out loud, of course, because Jerry Lewis is a great philanthropist, Hitchens is very sick, and the third guy I made up.
~ Tina Fey
Mama Ginger came calling, to set the alarm on my biological clock. Oh, and to remind me that there’s no point to me being a woman if I never have children.”“Well, if that’s true, I wasted a hell of a lot of money on panty hose and lipstick.” Jettie snorted.
~ Molly Harper
...there is a celebrated aphorism insisting that the best way to live is to 'work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, and love like you've never been hurt.'...After years of hearing and reading these lines I have decided to tell the truth: the original version is wrong. There is a grave error in the wording of this adage. The correct version should go as follows:Love like you don't need the money,Work like nobody is watching,Dance like you've never been hurt.See? Doesn't that make more sense?
~ Gina Barreca
A woman must wait for her ovaries to die before she can get her rightful personality back. Post-menstrual is the same as pre-menstrual; I am once again what I was before the age of twelve: a female human being who knows that a month has thirty day, not twenty-five, and who can spend every one of them free of the shackles of that defect of body and mind known as femininity.
~ Florence King
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
~ Marcel Achard
Gradually my whole concept of time changed until I thought of a month as having twenty-five days of humanness and five others when I might just as well have been an animal in a steel trap.
