Humor Quotes

He didn't know Rachel very well, but assumed her behavior would be similar to most women he encountered. As soon as he stepped foot inside she would attack, not allowing him to get in a word. At least that was what he imagined.

~ Wendy Owens

He knew she loved him in that moment. Gabe never wanted to be part of the holy fight, but now he was, he was not about to lose.

~ Wendy Owens

Uri stood staring at him, casually looking Gabe's body up and down before saying with a sly grin, Well hello to you too, sexy. Does your wife know about this? Uri then motioned with a dainty fingertip to Gabe's ensemble.Looking down, Gabe quickly realised the robe he had grabbed to cover himself with belonged to Rachel, and much to his dismay, was far too sheer for comfort at the moment. Slipping a well laid hand into place, Gabe huffed and looked at his friend in aggravation, secretly trying not to laugh.

~ Wendy Owens

I've never been in love, but if a penguin can find a soul mate, I'm sure I can, too.

~ Rebekah Crane

Eugene's got a fake ID, and he actually gets away with using it because he looks like he's thirty-six, thanks to his devotion to tasseled shoes and his ridiculous carpet of chest hair.

~ Flynn Meaney

Violet: You're an asshole. Onyx: Thank you, it's something that took an eternity to perfect.

~ Jessica Shirvington

Bitterblue had never seen a man naked, and she was curious. She decided the universe owed her a few minutes, just a few, to satisfy her curiosity. So she went to him and knelt, which shut him up.

~ Kristin Cashore

His question is pretty dangerous for me to try to answer, so I don’t—it continues to hang out there like the stained underwear at a slumber party that goes unclaimed.

~ Jen Naumann

Yes...and I'm worried that if you get into the habit of making out with your instructors, you'll wind up making out with him too.Don't be sexist. They could find me a female instructor.In that case, you have my permission to make out with her as long as I can watch.

~ Cassandra Clare

Baby, I could watch you watching paint dry, and I still wouldn’t be bored.” Garrett Graham, my own personal sweet-talker.

~ Elle Kennedy

That's good. And speaking of spelling, tell me -- do you wrap your head in a towel after you shower?

~ Nicholas Sparks

I'm Kieran. You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room

~ Jayde Scott

You know, every bad guy was once good until he crossed a line. I don’t think they come out of the womb being assholes.

~ Laurann Dohner

I was so comfortable. I was warm and cozy, in that blissful, dreamy place between asleep and awake...Until my comfy pillow moved.And the blanket keeping me warm moved.I grumbled at them sleepily, and then my pillow and blanket chuckled.I looked up, trying to make sense of my thoughts, and I saw him.Cameron.My pillow and blanket was Cameron; a half asleep, chuckling Cameron. I groaned and let my head fall back on his chest, his arms tightened around me. I wondered why my pillow moved.He chuckled again, and I could hear the sound resonate in my ear.

~ N.r. Walker

He is a sweet boy, quick to laugh, easy to love.

~ George R.r. Martin

Guys are like dogs. You wish you could take them all home when they're young. But after they've howled all night and slobbered all over everything, you come to realize the ones already trained are much easier to live with.

~ Paula Wall

Knives and candlelight,” he said, “how romantic.

~ Nenia Campbell

Love Is Like A Plant.We Give It Attention,It Grows. We Ignore It,It Dies

~ Chris J.farah

And no chick fucking either, unless we both agree to it, of course. Turner pauses and scowls. Though I can't imagine sharing you with anyone. Makes me fucking sick to my stomach.

~ C.m. Stunich

I had this vision of the two of us holding hands or getting into some light petting behind shower curtains or up in the fencing aisle or some shit.

~ Susan Juby

It was almost romantic, in a mad-inventor sort of way.

~ Kady Cross

When she heard about Mitch, it was Roberta that talked me into making the pizza.“You have to!” she’d nearly shrieked. She did this because I’d waxed on perhaps a little too enthusiastically about Mitch’s looks, his warm smile and his neighborly behavior.I shook my head. “I don’t know. He freaks me out.”“Yeah, I get that. Johnny Depp came in and fixed my faucet then told me he wanted to try my pizza that would freak me out too. But I’d still make him my freaking pizza.

~ Kristen Ashley

I’d once had a long-term relationship with a Five Point Five that got nowhere near living together. This was because I was a Two Point Five, he was a Five Point Five and he wanted a Nine Point Five. Therefore, we were both destined for a broken heart. He gave me mine. He later found a Six Point Five that wanted a Nine Point Five. She got herself a breast enhancement and nose job which made her a firm Seven (if you didn’t count the fact that she thought she was a Ten point Five and acted like it which really knocked her down to a Six) who broke his heart.

~ Kristen Ashley

Neil Mars?! I could blame him for having killer looks but he could not be faulted for this. He couldn’t have chosen that name for himself. No wonder he tortures his Mom by calling her by her name.

~ Rucy Ban

It’s not great when your husband thinks the only guy who can talk to you, is some other guy.

~ Jonas Eriksson

The thing with love is, you cannot choose who you fall for. Falling in love often happens at the wrong time, in the wrong place, with the wrong person. Just as much as you cannot stop growing feelings for a certain man, there's no switch to turn off your heart.

~ J.c. Reed

No, I can't die because there are too many jackasses falling over themselves to take my place! I may live forever just to spite them!

~ Jamie Mcguire

Opportunities are like night owls. They like to streak naked and howl at the moon. A lot of success in life comes down to luck. So put yourself in a position to get lucky. Because you know what happens if you don't go out? Nothing.

~ Ari Gold

Jean-Baptiste Say may have coined the term 'entrepreneur' but he totally missed the opportunity to put it on a t-shirt and sell it.

~ Ryan Lilly

Why hasn't someone lassoed a few teenagers and had them sit down and write out all the supposed answers they have so we can solve the world's problems already?

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

The elixir of life is a bubbling stream of laughter.

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

In the middle of a grocery store, two children were horsing around (one holding the other in a headlock) when the mother turned abruptly to give them a stern repr

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

Laughter isn't a sign of insanity but a shield against it.

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

My favorite quote in the world is this one.

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.

~ Oscar Wilde

To think or not to think? That is the new question.

~ Nadina Boun

I assure you, my good Lestrade, that I have an excellent reason for everything that I do.

~ Arthur Conan Doyle

Je me rends parfaitement compte du desagreable effet que produit sur la majorite de l'humanité, tout ce qui se rapporte, même au plus faible dègré, á des calculs ou raisonnements mathematiques.I am well aware of the disagreeable effect produced on the majority of humanity, by whatever relates, even at the slightest degree to calculations or mathematical reasonings.

~ Hiram Stevens Maxim

Presenting a rational argument to a person who has forsaken the use of reason is like asking a vegetarian to eat a cheeseburger.

~ Michelle Templet

Our flesh is a gift of laughter.

~ Harley King