“ Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. ”
Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
~ Oliver Oliver Reed
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.