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Finnik?” I say. “Maybe some pants?”
He looks down at his legs as if noticing them for the first time. Then he whips of his hospital gown, leaving him in just is underwear. “Why? Do you find this”-he strikes a ridiculously proactive pose-“distracting?”
I can’t help laughing because it’s funny, and it’s extra funny because Boggs looks so uncomfortable, and I’m happy because Finnik actually sounds like the guy I met at the Quarter Quell.
“I’m only human, Odair.” I get in before the elevator doors close. “Sorry,” I say to Boggs.
“Don’t be. I thought you… handled that well,” He says. “Better than my having to arrest him, anyway.”

Fulvia Cardew hustles over an makes a sound of frustration when she sees my clean face. “All that hard work, down the drain. I’m not blaming you, Katniss. It’s just that very few people are born with camera-ready faces. Like him.” She snags Gale, who’s in a conversation with Plutarch, and spins him towards us. “Isn’t he handsome?”
Gale does look stricking in the uniform, I guess. But the question just embarrasses us both Given our history. I’m trying to think of a witty comeback when Boggs says brusquely, “Well don’t expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

~ Suzanne Collins

Suzanne Collins Finnick Odair Humor

You used nunchucks on a moose?Wolfe got a haunted look in his eyes. I used all sorts of things on that bastard.

~ Richelle Mead

Richelle Mead Humor Malachi Wolfe

Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child.

~ Richard Kadrey

Richard Kadrey Humor

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.

~ George Carlin

George Carlin Belief Humor

Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.

~ Gary Larson

Gary Larson Cartoon Humor Satire Social Commentary

Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.

~ William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare Food Humor

I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.''I would,' I said, 'but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I'd even settle for a demigod. It's a step down, I know. But alas, there are nothing but low-brained mortals here. And half-brains, like you.

~ Kristin Walker

Kristin Walker Gods Humor Sarcasm

He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.

~ Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama Fashion Funny Humor Michelle Obama Obama

I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!

~ J.k. Rowling

J.k. Rowling Dursley Harry Potter Humor Magic

What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.

~ Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett Humor

Maybe he thinks he can rescue me? No one is that stupid.

~ Kim Harrison

Kim Harrison Fiction Humor Rachel Morgan Romance Vampire

The Princess Andromeda?Went ka-boom.

~ Rick Riordan

Rick Riordan Explosion Humor Percy Jackson Tyson

Har. Bloody. Har.

~ Stephanie Perkins

Stephanie Perkins Anna Humor

I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that 'the flames of passion burn brightest when the wick of intimacy is first ignited by the disposable butane lighter of physical attraction, but sooner or later the heat of familiarity causes the wax of boredom to drip all over the vanilla frosting of novelty and the shredded coconut of romance.' I could not have phrased it better myself.

~ Dave Barry

Dave Barry Humor Marriage Shakespeare

A cavalryman's horse should be smarter than he is. But the horse must never be alowed to know this.

~ Steven Pressfield

Steven Pressfield Army Horse Humor

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

~ Fulton J. Sheen

Fulton J. Sheen Catholicism Confession Humor Religion Simile

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

~ Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker Classic Insult Harvard Humor Innuendo Naughty Yale

First bubble baths. Now Disney parks. You're shattering every creep vampire myth I've ever heard.

~ Jeaniene Frost

Jeaniene Frost Humor Kira Mencheres Myth Vampires

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

~ Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett Fairy Tale Happy End Humor

Normal people can become very annoying if put in annoying situations.

~ Jessica Park

Jessica Park Humor Thought Provoking True To Life

Of course, everyone's parents are embarrassing. It goes with the territory. The nature of parents is to embarrass merely by existing, just as it is the nature of children of a certain age to cringe with embarrassment, shame, and mortification should their parents so much as speak to them on the street.

~ Neil Gaiman

Neil Gaiman Humor Parenting Parents

There's no room for demons when you're self-possessed.

~ Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher Humor Self Deprecation

Hey, bro, do you think you can put Shorty back on her chain?I stepped forward with my hands on my hips, only slightly intimidated to find Kaleb almost eye level with me when he was seated and I was standing.First of all, no one is the boss of me but me. Secondly, if you ever reference my 'chain' again, I will kick your ass. I jabbed him hard in the chest with my finger. Possibly breaking it. And thirdly, don't call me Shorty.Kaleb sat silently for a second, his eyes wide as he looked at Michael. Where did you get her? Can you get me one?I blew out a loud, frustrated sigh and dropped down beside Michael, who didn't even try to hide his smile. You should probably apologize to Emerson.I am sorry. Kaleb grinned at me. Sorry I didn't meet you first.

~ Myra Mcentire

Myra Mcentire Humor

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

~ Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett Humor

You okay?Fine.Your heart's beating really fast.Gee, thanks. That's very comforting that you can hear it.He smiled, and it was the old Michael, the one she'd first met before all the vamp stuff.Yeah, I know it is. Sorry. Just stay behind me if there's trouble.You sound like Shane.Well, he did say he'd kill me if I got you hurt. I'm just looking after my own neck.Liar.

~ Rachel Caine

Rachel Caine Claire Danvers Eve Rosser Funny Ghost Town Humor Michael Glass Morganville Vampires Rachel Caine Shane Collins Teacher Vampires

I am human and I need to be loved,just like everybody else does.

~ Morrissey

Morrissey Humor Lyrics Music

She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not... you know, better.Define BETTER with that guy.Not all fangs and raaaaar.

~ Rachel Caine

Rachel Caine Claire Danvers Funny Ghost Town Humor Michael Glass Morganville Vampires Myrnin Rachel Caine Shane Collins Teacher Vampire Vampires

If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.

~ George Carlin

George Carlin Humor Kids Parenting Role Models

How ghastly for her, people actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.

~ Gail Carriger

Gail Carriger Alexia Tarabotti Brain Humor Thinking

Because sometimes you just have to dance like a madman in the Self-Help section of your local bookstore.

~ David Levithan

David Levithan Boy_Meets_Boy Humor

Mirrors should think longer before they reflect.

~ Jean Cocteau

Jean Cocteau Humor Mirrors Relativity

Buttercup's mother whirled on him. 'Did you forget to pay your taxes?' (This was after taxes. But everything is after taxes. Taxes were here even before stew.)

~ William Goldman

William Goldman Humor

I stared at him (Dionysus). You're...you're married? But I thought you got in trouble for chasing a wood nymph-

~ Rick Riordan

Rick Riordan Dionysus Humor Hypocrite Percy Jackson

If you fail to report within the next 12 hours. you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you.

~ Kiersten White

Kiersten White Book Evie Humor

We seemed to be trapped in an episode of One Life To Waste. It's all very dull.

~ Cassandra Clare

Cassandra Clare Humor Magnus Bane

My parents are going to kill me!That seems rather harsh...

~ Garth Nix

Garth Nix Childhood Humor Paranoia Parents

Snoring keeps the monsters away.

~ Judy Blume

Judy Blume Humor Snoring

You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great,headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me.

~ Jennifer Crusie

Jennifer Crusie Humor Seduction

...[G]reat progress was evident in the last Congress of the American 'Labour Union' in that among other things, it treated working women with complete equality. While in this respect the English, and still more the gallant French, are burdened with a spirit of narrow-mindedness. Anybody who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without the feminine ferment. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex (the ugly ones included).

~ Karl Marx

Karl Marx American English Equality Feminism French History Humor Labor Union Progress Social Change

Mary had a little lamb, its fleece electrostatic / And everywhere Mary went, the lights became erratic.

~ David Foster Wallace

David Foster Wallace Humor Mary S Night Light Mutated Sheep Nonmetallic Conductivity
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