Naughty Quotes

The only sea I saw Was the seesaw sea With you riding on it. Lie down, lie easy. Let me shipwreck in your thighs.

~ Dylan Thomas

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

~ Mae West

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

~ Groucho Marx

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

~ Dorothy Parker

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me.

~ Katie Macalister

Accepting necessary conflicts for the sake of improving the lives of children is the only fundamental moral crusade that matters.

~ Stefan Molyneux

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

~ Mae West

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

~ Mae West

If just one person has done it, it can be done. by V.L. Marshall

~ Verity Louise Marshall

You know what, your imagination works faster than your mind.

~ Simona Panova

She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.

~ Dorothy Parker

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

~ Lily Tomlin

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

~ George Burns

Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

~ Woody Allen

The hurt that troubled children create is never greater than the hurt they feel.

~ L. Tobin

I had a dream I named my boat after you. I love to raise your mast.

~ Amanda Mosher

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

~ Oscar Wilde

If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it, or you're up to something.

~ Saleem Sharma

Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others.

~ Oscar Wilde

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.


~ Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Lucifer was engraving Nate’s name on a cage right now.

~ Kelly Moran

Did you want to change into something more comfortable?” Adrian asks with a raise in his eyebrows, breaking me out of my train of thought, but not away from naughty thoughts.I smack his knee. “I'm comfortable, but I know you're not.” He doesn't mind dressing up, but on most days I see him in casual clothes like screen-printed tees and hoodies.“You're right,” he says, tapping my knee lightly, standing up. As he walks toward the hallway, he slips his shirt off the rest of the way. I can't look away from the sight, even if it is only from the back. Damn. What is happening to me? Have I gone mad?Before I can tear my eyes away from him, he turns around. Judging by the look in his eyes, I've been caught. I have so been caught. Damn again. I didn't want him to see me practically drooling. It's too late for that now.He smirks. “You know, I could spend the rest of the night just like this.” He places a hand to the hard muscles of his chest.I clear my throat, trying really hard not to imagine my hand in place of his, and say, “If I'm wearing clothes, you're wearing clothes.”“So if I'm not wearing clothes...” I grab a coaster from the coffee table and fling it at him. He catches it in his hand. “Just remember, all you have to do is say otherwise.

~ Lilly Avalon

Blood rushed to the regions of my body that I associated with naughtiness, and I was powerless to stop it.

~ Kat Lowe

He liked the girls, liked to hold them around the waist, felt like a man when he did. But as for talking with them, no, no! Then he felt as though he were dealing with another species of human being, in some cases a higher one, in others a lower. He secretly admired the weak, pale, little girl and had picked her to be his wife. That was still the only way he could think of a woman - as a wife. He danced in a very chaste and proper manner, but he heard awful stories about his pals, stories he didn't understand until later. They could dance the waltz backwards around the room in a very indecent way, and they told naughty stories about the girls.

~ August Strindberg

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.

~ Gary Allan