Derek Landy Quotes

You should have called us. Desmond would have picked you up.''No I wouldn't,' Valkyrie's dad said, stepping into earshot. 'Sorry, Fletcher, but I had important fatherly duties to take care of, which included eating breakfast, showering, and finding my trousers. Of those three, I only managed two. Without looking down, can you guess which one I missed?'... Fletcher smiled back. 'I just want to borrow Stephanie for a moment.''Take our daughter,' Valkryie's dad said, waving a hand airily. 'We have another one now.

~ Derek Landy

Come on. I know you're not a stupid man.''I'm quite stupid. Ask anyone.''Finbar, are there superheroes living among us?' Finbar snorted with laughter and Kenny started to feel a little thick. 'Superheroes? In tights and capes, flying around? If there were superheroes, Mr. Journalist, don't you think they'd be in New York or somewhere like that? There's not that many tall buildings for Spiderman to swing from in Dublin, you know? He'd have maybe two good swings and then hang there looking disappointed.' 'These people don't wear tights and capes, Finbar.''So they're naked superheroes? That's grand for now, but when the good weather is over they're going to regret it.''They look like us. They dress like us. But they're not like us. They're different.''You,' Finbar said. 'Are sounding very racist right now.

~ Derek Landy

You make a good point,' Fletcher conceded. 'See, there's a reason why you're the girl and I'm the boy. You think about things while I...''Don't?''Exactly,' he said happily.

~ Derek Landy

So what does that actually mean?''To be honest, Ghastly, I haven't a bull's notion.''Elder Bespoke should be addressed by his full title,' Tipstaff said.'Of course,' Skulduggery said. 'To be honest, Your Highness, I haven't a bull's notion.

~ Derek Landy

I love you.''Yeah, well...''You make my heart want to beat.''That's nice and creepy. But I'm with Fletcher.(...) Also, these proclamations of your undying love for me are getting kind of... it's a bit much to be honest. Just hold back a little.''But my love for you is eternal.''That's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about.

~ Derek Landy

It was a trap. It was so obviously a trap.Darquesse smiled.

~ Derek Landy

Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of herfather’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as henodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverwarewhen he thought no one was looking

~ Derek Landy

Tides do what tides do–they turn.

~ Derek Landy

So now you're on the run,' Warrick said wistfully. 'Travelling the Dark Highway, a lone wolf. With your friend, who is another wolf. Two lone wolves. Two wolves, really. Not really alone. Two wolves in a car. Travelling. One of them naked and bloody. The other with her ass hanging out.

~ Derek Landy

He crouched at the care window and looked in. What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one. His finger jabbed the glass. That one's a bit ugly.The American stepped towards him. What? What did you say?Oh, don't worry. I'm sure his personality makes up for his face.

~ Derek Landy

You are a cynical man, Mr. Pleasant.We live in cynical times, Miss Cain.

~ Derek Landy

Doors are for people with no imagination.

~ Derek Landy

Talking about one's feelings defeats the purpose of having those feelings. Once you try to put the human experience into words, it becomes little more than a spectator sport. Everything must have a cause, and a name. Every random thought must have a root in something else.

~ Derek Landy

Sometimes it's not what you say, Valkyrie, it's just the fact that you're saying it.

~ Derek Landy

And what about magic?” “What about it?” “Will you teach me?” “You don’t even know if you’re capable of doing magic.” “How do I find out? Is there a test or something?”“Yes, we cut off your head. If it grows back, you can do magic.

~ Derek Landy

The problem with living so long is that we get used to it. We watch the mortals age and wither and die around us, watch the world change and decay...but no matter the hardship or the pain or the sorrow we suffer, we choose to continue living. Out of sheer habit, I think.

~ Derek Landy

Every solution to every problem is simple. It's the distance between the two where the mystery lies.

~ Derek Landy

She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person's teenage years lasted well into their fifties.

~ Derek Landy

Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.

~ Derek Landy

Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an ey

~ Derek Landy

I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword.

~ Derek Landy

But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.

~ Derek Landy

I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through.

~ Derek Landy

I'm going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour. Finbar rolled his eyes. And they'll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy about other people noticing them.

~ Derek Landy

He'd once known a man who said that life hinged on the moment, that everything changed in the blink of an eye. Tesseract knew the truth of that as well as anybody. It was in those moments that he struck, after all, snatching people's lives away. He'd always known that it was only a matter of time before one of those moment's worked against him.

~ Derek Landy

I wasn't always who I am now. No one ever is. I've spent my entire lifetime becoming who I am. Finally, I'm here and I'm old. It's depressing, it really is.

~ Derek Landy

The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.

~ Derek Landy

I understand perfectly. Darquesse isn't a separate entity. She isn't another person. She's you. If you make the wrong choices, if you stop loving the people who love you, if you allow the world to twist and turn and change you, then yes, the future we've seen will come to pass. But if you fight, and if you kick, and struggle, and refuse to give in to the apathy, or the anger, or the hopelessness, then you'll change the future, and you'll walk your own path. And I'll be right there beside you, Valkyrie. I'll always be beside you.

~ Derek Landy

I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.

~ Derek Landy

A living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?

~ Derek Landy

Stephanie had no problem doing what shewas told, just so long as she was given a good reason why sheshould.

~ Derek Landy

Doesn't sunlight kill them? Doesn't it turn them to dust, or make them burst into flames or something?Nope. Vampires tan, just like you and me. Well, just like you. I tend to bleach.

~ Derek Landy

Violence?Skulduggery said. Violence is never the answer, until it's the only answer.

~ Derek Landy

Valkyrie Cain got out of the passenger side. She zipped upher black jacket against the cold, and joined Skulduggery as hewalked up to the front door. She glanced at him, and saw that he was smiling.Stop doing that,” she sighed.“Stop doing what?” Skulduggery responded in that gloriously velvet voice of his.“Stop smiling. The person we want to talk to lives in the only dark house on a bright street. That’s not a good sign.”“I didn’t realise I was smiling,” he said. They stopped at the door, and Skulduggery made a concerted effort to shift his features. His mouth twitcheddownwards. “Am I smiling now?”“No.”“Excellent,” he said, and the smile immediately sprang back up.

~ Derek Landy

What's a Dullahan?''He's a headless horseman, in the service of the banshee.''Headless?''Yes.''Seriously?''Yes.''So he has no head?''That's usually what headless means.''No head at all?''You're really getting hung up on this headless thing, aren't you?''It's just kind of silly, even for us.''Yet you spend your days with a living skeleton.''But at least he has a head.''True.''He even has a spare.

~ Derek Landy

Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!' Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back.

~ Derek Landy

Here she is,” her mum said, cooing at the baby, “my special girl.”“Oh, cheers,” Valkyrie said, rolling her eyes.

~ Derek Landy

Valkyrie smiled patiently. I like how you do your make-up. Do you use a brush, or just dip your head in the bucket?

~ Derek Landy

Well, OK then. He narrowed his eyes. How about you? Do you have any...romances I should know about?Nope. Not one.Well, good. Excellent. There'll be plenty of time for boys when you leave college and become a nun.She smiled. I'm glad you have such ambitious dreams for me.

~ Derek Landy

Look at what you've done,' Sanguine said, shaking his head with mock severity. 'You have foiled out insidious little plot. You have emerged triumphant and victorious. Curse you, do-gooders. Curse you.

~ Derek Landy