Humor Quotes

Eventually, Krysomallos would be skinned for his fleece, which became known as the Golden Fleece, which means I am related to a sheepskin rug.This is why you don't want to think too hard about who you're related to in the Greek myths. It'll drive you crazy.

~ Rick Riordan

However, he wrote some verses on her, and very pretty they were.” “And so ended his affection,” said Elizabeth impatiently. “There has been many a one, I fancy, overcome in the same way. I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!” “I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love,” said Darcy. “Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.

~ Jane Austen

McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories.McGough: Really? When?Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time ...

~ Graham Chapman

I often repeat repeat myself,I often repeat repeat.I don't don't know why know why,I simply know that I I Iam am inclined to say to saya lot a lot this way this way-I often repeat repeat myself,I often repeat repeat.I often repeat repeat myself,I often repeat repeat.My mom my mom gets mad gets mad,it irritates my dad my dad,it drives them up a tree a tree,that's what they tell they tell me me-I often repeat repeat myself,I often repeat repeat.I often repeat repeat myself,I often repeat repeat.It gets me in a jam a jam,but that's the way I am I am,in fact I think it's neat it's neatto to to to repeat repeat-I often repeat repeat myself,I often repeat repeat.

~ Jack Prelutsky

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

~ Robert Frost

Sing your life, any fool can think of words that rhyme.

~ Morrissey

It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.

~ Dorothy Parker

We have seen the best minds of our generation destroyed by boredom at poetry readings.

~ Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Writing poetry and reading books causes brain damage.

~ Pat Conroy

My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him.

~ Dorothy Parker

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

~ Fran Lebowitz

It's important to have your private enjoyments because sometimes that's all we have.

~ Kay Ryan

Failure: the renewable resource.

~ Kay Ryan

Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly

~ Mary Howitt

contemporary poetry is a kind of Reykjavik, a place where accessibility and intelligence have been fighting a Cold War by proxy for the last half-century.

~ Nick Hornby

Secretly, deep down, everybody on Earth believes they can write poetry, apart from the members of the Poets' Guild, who know they can't.

~ K.j. Parker

loneliness can fly a helicopter through a cut-out shapeof a helicopter the same size as the helicopterand that's it's only skilland it isn't good enoughbut it's still amazing.

~ Tao Lin

I can’t help but notice that you keep writing love poetry to my wife. Well, you see, I married her, which makes her my wife. You know what you might want to try? Writing some poems about the sunset. The sunset isn’t fucking married.

~ A.j. Jacobs

I can't even make up a rhyme about an umbrella, let alone death and life and eternal peace.

~ Knut Hamsun

Stars in the night,' he said. 'Something something something something, some delight

~ Philippa Gregory

That night we made love the real way which we had not yet attemptedalthough married six months.Big mystery. No one knew where to put their leg and to this day I'm not surewe got it right.He seemed happy. You're like Venice he said beautifully.Early next dayI wrote a short talk (On Defloration) which he stole and had publishedin a small quarterly magazine.Overall this was a characteristic interaction between us.Or should I say ideal.Neither of us had ever seen Venice.

~ Anne Carson

Enjoy yourselves. And Hap: Don't let Umber near the arrows and bows; he's liable to shoot himself in the nose. Dodd grinned and snapped the reins, and the carriage rolled away. Umber sniffed. One of his lesser poems. Come, Hap.

~ P.w. Catanese

The BALLPOINT PENGUINS, black and white, Do little else but write and write.Although they've nothing much to say, They write and write it anyway....

~ Jack Prelutsky

There is nothing like scrubbing toilets for a living to make you question the choices you have made in life.

~ Raegan Butcher

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

~ Charles Dickens

Little WordsWhen you are gone, there is nor bloom nor leaf,Nor singing sea at night, nor silver birds;And I can only stare, and shape my griefIn little words.I cannot conjure loveliness, to drownThe bitter woe that racks my cords apart.The weary pen that sets my sorrow downFeeds at my heart.There is no mercy in the shifting year,No beauty wraps me tenderly about.I turn to little words- so you, my dear,Can spell them out.

~ Dorothy Parker

bad breath and butt smell; that is prison, in a nutshell.

~ Raegan Butcher

I was compared to Charles Bukowski yesterday. It was the best and worst compliment I've ever gotten.

~ Rosa Sophia

I put a chameleon on a red dildo... He blushed

~ Bo Burnham

It was a scary thought. A man could be surrounded by poetry reading and not know it.

~ Richard Russo

How do you knowyou're a girl?I'm wearing a frock.And if you take it off?I get cold, so I putit back on.If I was a boy, I don't know what I'd do.

~ Ivor Cutler

I hear they make greeting cards now to thank your therapist... for NOTHING

~ Casey Renee Kiser

During our first date,I wanted to hold your hand so badI almost cut mine offand threw it at youto see if you would catch it

~ Colin Gilbert

Poetry is not an art, it's a symptom.

~ Michele Brenton

Rather a thousand times the county jail than to lie under this marble figure with wings and this granite pedestal bearing the words pro patria. What do they mean anyway?

~ Edgar Lee Masters

An artist is identical with an anarchist,' he cried. 'You might transpose the words anywhere. An anarchist is an artist. The man who throws a bomb is an artist, because he prefers a great moment to everything. He sees how much more valuable is one burst of blazing light, one peal of perfect thunder, than the mere common bodies of a few shapeless policemen. An artist disregards all governments, abolishes all conventions. The poet delights in disorder only. If it were not so, the most poetical thing in the world would be the Underground Railway.''So it is,' said Mr. Syme.'Nonsense!' said Gregory, who was very rational when any one else attempted paradox.

~ G.k. Chesterton

You say you are a poet of law, I saw you are a contradiction in terms. I only wonder there were not comets and earthquakes on the night you appeared in this garden

~ G.k. Chesterton

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby.

~ Criss Jami

Something about being rejected at Church Camp felt so much more awful than being rejected at school.

~ Craig Thompson

Those who find no humor in faith are probably those who find the church a refuge for their own black way of looking at life, although I think many of us find the church a refuge for a lot of our personality faults. Those of us, for example, who never learned to dance feel that the church is an ideal place for us if we can find a church that doesn't believe in dancing. Then we can get away with never having learned how to dance. You can carry this in all sorts of directions and see that the church is a refuge for what is really a 'flaw' in your own makeup.

~ Charles M. Schulz