His was a great sin who first invented consciousness. Let us lose it for a few hours.
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
What your mind sees when you close your eyes marks the entrance to an endless universe: your imagination.
~ Stephen Helmes
...seeing the way his trousers clung to those most English parts.
~ Seth Grahame-Smith
This is what my high school life had become—a horror show of epic, mind-fuck proportions.
~ G.g. Silverman
No matter how dire a situation may be, I can always find the humor in it somewhere. If I was ever in a horror movie I would be the goofy one who doesn't seem to know quite what's going on but survives to the end with witty one-liners.
~ A.j. Rose
Oh, I love you, June, I really do. It's just that you sounded so...twat-ish just then.
~ Red Tash
I confessed I did not have an opinion; I was only thirteen, and this was my very first dismemberment.
~ Rick Yancey
Asked in 1919 whether it was true that only three people in the world understood the theory of general relativity, [Eddington] allegedly replied: 'Who's the third?
~ Arthur Stanley Eddington
Quand celui à qui l'on parle ne comprend pas et celui qui parle ne se comprend pas, c'est de la métaphysiqueWhen he to whom a person speaks does not understand, and he who speaks does not understand himself, that is metaphysics.
~ Voltaire
Humor is not an end in itself, but a tool to understanding. A dense head must be tickled with an ax.
~ Bauvard
So a scientist and an engineer are tossed into separate rooms, stocked with tools and parts, and told that they aren't allowed out until they've produced a working prototype for a radio receiver. After two days, the scientist has covered the walls in scribbling and looks like a mad man, raving about how not only is it impossible to build a receiver with the parts given but that he's proven that radio is theoretically impossible anyway. When they check on the engineer, they find that he'd built the receiver in less than a day, fashioned a crude speaker and antenna, and had found a radio broadcast he liked and hadn't bothered to tell them he'd finished.
~ Joshua Dalzelle
Fun and killing ain’t synonyms to regular folks, Zeus.”.
~ Shay Rucker
Look here, cousin,” Big Country’s drawled in the background. “This here’s a car. We just got off a plane, and no matter how fast you push this bitch, she ain’t gon’ fly, so believe me when I say, I refuse to die over some foolishness you call love, not today.
Swap out one of these men with the mute, and I’ll be right as rain,” Randy said from his spot near the kitchen entrance.“Thought we were besties,” Bride mumbled into the shot of rum she’d pilfered from Randy’s cabinet.
By doing ordinary actions efficiently you will become the best among ordinary, but you will not be an extraordinary.
~ Amit Kalantri
Goodnight, moon. Goodnight, stars. Goodnight planets, comets and... Mars. Yes, even you, Mars. And not only for the sake of the rhyme.
~ Paul The Astronaut
Once there was an elephant,Who tried to use the telephant-No! no! I mean an elephoneHe tried to use the telephone-(Dear me! I am not certain quiteThat even now I've got it right.)Howe'er it was, he got his trunkEntangled in the telephunk;The more he tried to get it free, The louder buzzed the telephee-(I fear I'd better drop the songOf elephop and telephong!)
~ Laura Elizabeth Richards
Every time I watchLady and the TrampI thinkSHE'S HAVING SOME OF YOUR PASTA!QUICK! EAT IT ALL! EAT IT ALL, NOW!!!GROWL! BARE YOUR TEETH! DO SOMETHING!OH, DON'T GIVE HER THE MEATBALL!THERE'S MEAT IN IT!IDIOT!But then againI'm not the romantic type.
~ Francesco Marciuliano
Monster a person though monster not human.Monster like music. Like Beatles! Like Schumann!World full of stupid. World full of noise.Monster feel ANGRY. No birthday. No joys.World full of JUNK monster not comprehend.What is a childhood? What is a friend?Monster and human both want the same.Want conversation. Want love. WANT NO PAIN.If monster speak heart: monster life only worsen.Monster not human: BUT MONSTER A PERSON!
~ Jennifer Finney Boylan
As chemists, we must rename [our] scheme and insert the symbols Ba, La, Ce in place of Ra, Ac, Th. As nuclear chemists closely associated with physics, we cannot yet convince ourselves to make this leap, which contradicts all previous experience in nuclear physics.
~ Otto Hahn
A ham sandwich is better than nothing. Nothing is better than eternal happiness. So eternal happiness is beaten by a ham sandwich.
~ Mark Forsyth
I was not born with English in my pocket.
~ Santosh Kalwar
Dad says there are more than three thousand letters in the Japanese alphabet, which could pose a problem. There are only twenty-six letters in the English alphabet, and I get into enough trouble with them as it is.
~ Rin Chupeco
I should think a dead language would be rather boring, sociallyspeaking.
~ Sol Luckman
Spanish—how shall I say this?—is likePortuguese spoken with a speech impediment.
...I'm worried I will leave grad school and no longer be able to speak English. I know this woman in grad school, a friend of a friend, and just listening to her talk is scary. The semiotic dialetics of intertextual modernity. Which makes no sense at all. Sometimes I feel that they live in a parallel universe of academia speaking acadamese instead of English and they don't really know what's happening in the real world.
~ Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.
~ Sandra Chami Kassis
I took her dress over to the closet and hung it up. It was funny. It made me feel sort of sad when I hung it up. I thought of her going in a store and buying it, and nobody in the store knowing she was a prostitute and all. The salesman probably just thought she was a regular girl when she bought it. It made me feel sad as hell- I don't know why exactly.
~ J.d. Salinger
People say that they want to kill me. All I say is I'm sorry but your appointment doesn't start until another hour, please sit in the waiting room.
~ Blackstar103
There are moments in life where I wonder whether things can get worse. I'm on a plane, with my new husband, whose enthusiasm for this whole thing seems to be flagging, and it's in this deep moment of self-pity that I register–with absolute horror–that I've also just started my period.I look down at my white jeans and stifle a sob...
~ Christina Lauren
It’s like they were worried that I’d be alone all day brooding and painting my cabin black or something—sheesh.
~ Melissa Walker
I'm losing weight, you notice, Pop?
~ Arthur Miller
I was just beginning to relax when the radio crackled to life, and nearly gave me a heart attack.I see something, I see something! Maddy was screaming and sounded terrified. I see something moving!There was a weird, muffled sound, and then Skylar’s voice came on. Please disregard that emergency broadcast. Madeline has just seen her first cow.
~ V.l. Dreyer
If that was the last event of the night, it would have made a terrible ending. It was just the beginning, though.
~ John Duover
done coma, walking/talking,art, cookery. scouts then wrote two books, asked for help, gave a book to HRH Princess Anne, tried publisher, got another DEGREE, now Google Gillian Mk2, what else can I do?
~ Gillian Firth
Knives are sharp, but are equally confusing.
~ Nathan Hassall
Of course I do, Jack! You have to beLIEve me!
~ Raymond Benson
I’ve never been bothered with my conduct. I’ve only been bothered by people that don’t get it correct when they gossip about me.
~ Shannon L. Alder
A good many times I have been present at gatherings of people who, by the standards of the traditional culture, are thought highly educated and who have with considerable gusto been expressing their incredulity at the illiteracy of scientists. Once or twice I have been provoked and have asked the company how many of them could describe the Second Law of Thermodynamics. The response was cold: it was also negative. Yet I was asking something which is about the scientific equivalent of: Have you read a work of Shakespeare's?
~ C.p. Snow
Apropos of Eskimo, I once heard a missionary describe the extraordinary difficulty he had found in translating the Bible into Eskimo. It was useless to talk of corn or wine to a people who did not know even what they meant, so he had to use equivalents within their powers of comprehension. Thus in the Eskimo version of the Scriptures the miracle of Cana of Galilee is described as turning the water into blubber; the 8th verse of the 5th chapter of the First Epistle of St. Peter ran: ‘Your adversary the devil, as a roaring Polar bear walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.’ In the same way ‘A land flowing with milk and honey’ became ‘A land flowing with whale’s blubber,’ and throughout the New Testament the words ‘Lamb of God’ had to be translated ‘little Seal of God,’ as the nearest possible equivalent. The missionary added that his converts had the lowest opinion of Jonah for not having utilised his exceptional opportunities by killing and eating the whale.
~ Frederick Hamilton
