Humor Quotes

If you can't enjoy what you have, you can't enjoy more of it.

~ Richard Bandler

Soccer forces life to move on. There’s always a new match. A new season. There’s always a dream that everything can get better. It’s a game of wonders.

~ Fredrik Backman

Whether you think you're right or you think you're wrong. You're right.If you think in pictures, write. If you think in words, paint.

~ Krista Kedrick

There is always space in my life for a unicorn.(i.e. fantasy)

~ Renata Ammazzini

In the middle of all the ordinary--something extraordinary shows up.

~ Karianne Wood

A man is known by the company he keeps not by the company he works.

~ Gaurav Agnihotri

It's time we allow our youth to de tangle life with ease.

~ Judith H Specht

#NAME?

~ Irina Binder

Most will do what’s comfortable because, let’s face it, we all like guarantees. Working a draining 9-to-5 will guarantee that your rent is paid on time, it’ll guarantee that your loans will be taken care of, it’ll guarantee you three square meals every night of the week. What if you broke down an entire lifetime of guarantees and found that your most prized moments consisted of standard, fragmented memories; high school dances, learning how to drive a car, graduating college… It’s almost as if you stopped living life the moment your education ended, the moment it was time to ‘grow up’ and ‘get a real job.

~ Jayme Karales

I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit!

~ Sharon Swan

A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn't a fish. The bass player was busy machine-gunning his bedroom and the drummer was nowhere on board.Frantic inquiries led to the discovery that he was standing on a beach on Santraginus V over a hundred light years away where, he claimed, he had been happy for over half an hour now and had found a small stone that would be his friend.

~ Douglas Adams

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

~ Bauvard

To answer your question as honestly as I can, I've wanted since I was very little to not have to worry about money. I've never been poverty-level poor (I mean, there's been years where I've been officially beneath the poverty line, but that wasn't poverty: that was being a student and living the Student Lifestyle), but I've been in a place where you know you can't afford a better-quality food, where you can't do certain things because of money, and I'd prefer not to have those problems if I can. I sort of have troubles with money in general, with how it determines so much of our lives but with how we all try to ignore it, but I would like to be (and stay) in a place where I can pick up some new comics and games and not worry about how much they cost.This is terrible; you're asking me where I want to be in the future, what I want my life to be like, and the only thing I can tell you is Man, all I know is I don't want to be POOR.

~ Ryan North

Smartass Disciple: Master, what is the secret recipe of your happiness?Master of Stupidity: If I tell you, there is nobody left to be made fun of.

~ Toba Beta

Respect? Of course, always, to all, because everything seems funnier when you're trying to show respect.

~ Criss Jami

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. The happiness of a married man depends on the people he has not married. One should always be in love - that's the reason one should never marry.

~ Oscar Wilde

The face of a truly happy man seldom lacks smiles.

~ Ogwo David Emenike

You know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.

~ Barney Stinson

When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.

~ Jeffrey Bernard

...the Puritans compressed whatever mirth and public joy they deemed allowable to human infirmity; thereby so far dispelling the customary cloud, that, for the space of a single holiday, they appeared scarcely more grave than most other communities at a period of general affliction.

~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

Whatever one does, someone is always happy...then again, someone else is not pleased

~ Arleabelle

(Can human beings change? The humor, and the sadness, of remarriage comedies can be said to result from the fact that we have no good answer to that question.)

~ Stanley Cavell

Whoever said that money didn't buy happiness was a damn fool. A damn fool who'd never been poor.

~ Tom Cooper

Do not believe anything I tell you. Do not take my advice.

~ Swami Pranayomama

Do as I say, not as I do.

~ Swami Pranayomama

You should try to avoid using the words should and try.

~ Swami Pranayomama

Ha ha ha ha! Tee-hee-hee!Mwa-ha mwa-ha!Kee kee kee!Ho ho ho ho! Haw-hee-haw! Heh heh heh heh!Gah guffaw! Hoo hoo hoo hoo!Hoi hoi-eee!Ba ha ha ha! Tsee tsee tsee!Giggle, titter,snicker, crow,laughter makesmy 'happy' grow!

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most sane human beings’ chances of being alive in a thousand years’ time are a hundred times higher than their chances of being sincerely happy for at least ten consecutive days.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Even so have I given the womb of the earth to those that be sown in it in their times.

~ Compton Gage

They that be born in the strength of youth are of one fashion, and they that are born in the time of age, when the womb fail, are otherwise.

~ Compton Gage

Seeing thou hast now given me the way, I will proceed to speak before thee: for our mother, of whom thou hast told me that she is young, draw now nigh unto age.

~ Compton Gage

Like as a young child may not bring forth the things that belong to the aged, even so have I disposed the world which I created.

~ Compton Gage

What betrayed me? Was it my heart? Or my Soul?

~ Compton Gage

Stand up upon the right side, and I shall expound the similitude unto thee.

~ Compton Gage

Consider with thyself; as the rain is more than the drops, and as the fire is greater than the smoke; but the drops and the smoke remain behind: so the quantity which is past did more exceed.

~ Compton Gage

As for the tokens whereof thou ask me, I may tell thee of them in part: but as touching thy life, I am not sent to shew thee.

~ Compton Gage

Iniquity shall be increased above that which now thou see, or that thou hast heard long ago.

~ Compton Gage

The land, that thou see now to have root, shall thou see wasted suddenly.

~ Compton Gage

If the most High grant thee to live, thou shall see after the third trumpet that the sun shall suddenly shine again in the night, and the moon thrice in the day:

~ Compton Gage