Satire Quotes

Some women wear a miniskirt to reveal their thighs, some wear one to conceal their age.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most people do not mind dying, as long as that does not happen today.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Immediately after a divorce or a breakup, your mind whispers that there are plenty more fish in the sea, while your heart shouts that there is only one whoever-you-just-divorced-or-broke-up-with.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Making God a man is the consolation prize that our forefathers gave themselves for not being the ones who were each blessed with a vagina.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some of the people we feel sorry for feel sorry for us for thinking that they are the ones who should be felt sorry for.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Instead of being regarded as intelligent or knowledgeable, many a woman would rather be regarded as beautiful or good in the kitchen; many a man, as handsome or good in bed.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

To take away a man’s sanity, answer all his prayers and solve all his problems. Or give him everything and everyone he wants.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It is as difficult for most poor people to truly believe that they could someday escape poverty as it is for most wealthy people to truly believe that their wealth could someday escape them.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

If there were something that Mother Nature or God could do with money, She or He would have sold immortality to the rich a long time ago.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Poverty does not always prevent a rich person from dating someone who is poor, unless the man is the one who is poor.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Back in the day, it was either both a mother and her daughter had pubic hair, or the daughter didn’t. Today, in many a case, the mother is the one who doesn’t.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It is in the best interest of the rich to preserve poverty.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people will each start investing more of their salary on ‘their’ house and spending less of it on ‘their’ car or cars only when they start being able to take ‘their’ house to work, funerals, weddings, etc.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people respect some people only because some people respect them.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

When it comes to things such as sugar and rice, most people believe that brown is superior to white. But when it comes to human beings, they believe that the opposite is true.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

You cannot force someone to believe something they do not believe, you can only manage to force them to speak or act as if they do.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most people believe most of the things they believe only because they believe that most people believe them.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

You cannot really shame a man who sincerely does not care what others think of him.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Thanks to photography, some memories overstay their welcome.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some mistakes are worse than others: wearing your underwear inside out isn’t as uncomfortable as wearing it back to front.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Every single living thing is food to at least one living thing.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some women do not masturbate for pleasure, they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes).

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

A man cannot really be called (sexually) confident if he has never bought his woman a vibrator.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most if not all sexually active people do not really love having sex, they merely love experiencing an orgasm every now and then.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Our parents would not be ‘The best parents in the world’ (to us) if they were not our parents.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It is a sign of immaturity to believe that being older than someone (automatically) makes you more (mentally) mature than them.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some men do not know the father of 'their' children.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The primary goal of a righteous parent who has a daughter is to minimize the number of boys and men for whom their daughter will have willingly opened her legs come her wedding day; the closer to zero, the more righteous they will seem.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Stolen oranges also have Vitamin C. Likewise, a stolen salmon, too, has omega-3 fatty acids.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Coco Chanel is said to have said that a girl should be two things: who and what she is. I say a girl should do two things: what and who she wants.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The real purpose of the opposition is to minimize the amount of money the ruling party will have stolen from the people at the end of its term.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

A deep breath is a technique with which we minimize the number of instances where we say what we do not mean … or what we really think.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Right now, the economy is a whole lot like a fairly good-looking brain-dead chick in a persistent vegetative coma. You can't really wake her up, but there's things she's still good for.

~ Cintra Wilson

Tides are like politics. They come and go with a great deal of fuss and noise, but inevitably they leave the beach just as they found it. On those few occasions when major change does occur, it is rarely a good news.

~ Jack Mcdevitt

American political culture quickly and always outpaces any attempt to satirize it.

~ Glenn Greenwald

Once you were in the hands of a Grand Vizier, you were dead. Grand Viziers were always scheming megalomaniacs. It was probably in the job description: Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted minister.

~ Terry Pratchett

I merely repeat, remember always your duty of enmity towards Man and all his ways. Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy. Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend. And remember also that in fighting against Man, we must not come to resemble him. Even when you have conquered him, do not adopt his vices. No animal must ever live in a house, or sleep in a bed, or wear clothes, or drink alcohol, or smoke tobacco, or touch money, or engage in trade. All the habits of Man are evil. And, above all, no animal must ever tyrannise over his own kind. Weak or strong, clever or simple, we are all brothers. No animal must ever kill any other animal. All animals are equal.

~ George Orwell

The animals were happy as they had never conceived it possible to be. Every mouthful of food was an acute positive pleasure, now that it was truly their own food, produced by themselves and for themselves, not doled out to them by a grudging master. With the worthless parasitical human beings gone, there was more for everyone to eat. There was more leisure too, inexperienced though the animals were.

~ George Orwell

If they're from the village, you take them to the inn. If they're from the city, you treat them with respect when they are beautiful and throw them on the highway when they are dead.

~ Voltaire

Most sexually adventurous women want a man who regards cunnilingus as a basic woman right.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana