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Humor quote from classy quote

Since you act as though God is dead, I wanted to join you in the mourning.The reply of Martin Luther's wife, in full funeral regalia, in trying to illustrate the folly of his depressed state.

~ Mark Driscoll

Mark Driscoll Depression Faith Humor

Somebody stop the world. I'm scared and I want to get off.

~ James Delano

James Delano Depression Humor

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to pr

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Humor Prayer Profanity Relief You Ll Completely Understand Why

Dear Lynda Carter, Please be with me in my hour of need. Especially if I don't have to twirl around to get my powers.

~ Michael R. Underwood

Michael R. Underwood Geek Humor Prayer Urban Fantasy Wonder Woman

He would have given anything for a tension-breaker-maybe, if he prayed hard enough, the school would catch on fire or something.

~ Christian M. Frank

Christian M. Frank Fire Humor Prayer Tension

Going to church is not a sign of going to God, if you think he is omnipresent, he is right there in your soul and bedroom.

~ Michael Bassey Johnson

Michael Bassey Johnson Bedrom Christianity Church God Humor Introvert Omnipresent Prayer Prayers Seeking The Face The God Sign Soul Unecessary Worship

Self talk and self prayer: When you audible the first and correctly interpret, the white coats correct you in a nuthouse. When you audible the second and misinterpret, the dinner coats swear you to an oath in the White House. Does this make you nuts too? Then outfit your sanity seeking political asylum at my house.

~ Brian Spellman

Brian Spellman Atheism Humor Oaths Prayer Sanity Skepticism Skepticism Of Religion

Do you pray for the senators, Dr. Hale?' someone asked the chaplain. No, I look at the senators and I pray for the country.

~ Edward Everett Hale

Edward Everett Hale Disputed Humor Prayer Senate

If you want to save your child from polio, you can pray or you can inoculate. ... Choose science.

~ Carl Sagan

Carl Sagan Funny Humor Inoculate Life Polio Pray Prayer Save Science Superstition Vaccine

Sometimes, you have to shot block a friend's prayer because she's asking God to bless an obviously bad dating relationship.

~ Jonathon Acuff

Jonathon Acuff Christianity Dating Humor Prayer

People said there had to be a Supreme Being because otherwise how could the universe exist, eh?And of course there clearly had to be, said Koomi, a Supreme Being. But since the universe was a bit of a mess, it was obvious that the Supreme Being hadn't in fact made it. If he had made it he would, being Supreme, have made a better job of it, with far better thought given, taking an example at random, to things like the design of the common nostril. Or, to put it another way, the existence of a badly put-together watch proved the existence of a blind watchmaker. You only had to look around to see that there was room for improvement practically everywhere. This suggested that the Universe had probably been put together in a bit of a rush by an underling while the Supreme Being wasn't looking, in the same way that Boy Scouts' Association minutes are done on office photocopiers all over the country.So, reasoned Koomi, it was not a good idea to address any prayers to a Supreme Being. It would only attract his attention and might cause trouble.

~ Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett God Humor Prayer Religion Satire

I'll pray for you.That's very kind of you.I can't spare you a whole rosary, you know. Just a decade. I've got such a long list of people. I take them in order and they get a decade about once a week.

~ Evelyn Waugh

Evelyn Waugh Humor Prayer Religion Rosary

I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of...here.

~ C. Joybell C.

C. Joybell C. Bad Bad Boys Good Good And Evil Humor Humorous Quotations Life Life And Living

You can spread jelly on the peanut butter but you can't spread peanut butter on the jelly.

~ Dick Van Dyke

Dick Van Dyke Humor Life And Living

If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must surrender.

~ Carroll Bryant

Carroll Bryant Humor Life And Living Love Relationship Romantic

One the advantages about this life is that you can hate someone without knowing him

~ Alessandro Manzoni

Alessandro Manzoni Humor Life And Living

Great books live longer than people.They are gonna bury us all.

~ Patricia Nedelea

Patricia Nedelea Book Quotes Great Books Humor Life And Living

While you’re hating your life just because you can’t get what you want, someone is praying to have a life like yours..!!

~ Aagam Shah

Aagam Shah Humor Inspirational Life And Living Motivational Prayer Quotes

The older we get, the more we become ourselves.

~ Alan Andrews

Alan Andrews Humor Life And Living Philosophical Musings

Do not fall in love.....it means you have to look at someone else.

~ Sunny-Drunk

Sunny-Drunk Humor Humour Life Life And Living Love

God gave me the life and created the world to know what it is actually.

~ Rahul Bodkhe

Rahul Bodkhe Attitude Humor Life Life And Living

don't try to hate me or even judging my attitude anyway you are gonna fall in love.

~ Rahul Bodkhe

Rahul Bodkhe Attitude Funny Humor Life And Living Love

Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

~ George Carlin

George Carlin Humor Life And Living

A picture should capture a moment, a place in time you can return to again and again.

~ Brendan T. Kelly

Brendan T. Kelly Humor Inspirational Life And Living Motivational

You want a lesson, boy? If you find yourself being born, climb back in as quick as you can, because life's a bottomless feast of shit.

~ Scott Lynch

Scott Lynch Humor Life And Living

Growing up is the dumbest thing I ever wanted to rush into.

~ Tanya Masse

Tanya Masse Growing Up Humor Life Life And Living

Really, I protest--what is left for the satirical mind to invent when reality so surpasses it?

~ Jude Morgan

Jude Morgan Humor Life And Living Satire

It was comparable to getting sick from bad ventilation

~ Alice Munro

Alice Munro Humor Life And Living

A problem isn't a real problem till you decide to make it a problem... so what's the problem again?

~ Runa Magnus

Runa Magnus Acceptance Humor Inspirational Life And Living Loving Mindset Motivational Successful Mind

Life is meaning less when you realized that you are about to die. Till then, everything negative however trifle they may be, depress you.

~ Ankur Basu Roy

Ankur Basu Roy Humor Life And Living Life Philosophy Wit Witty

I'm trying like hell to leave a footprint, carbon or otherwise.

~ M.a. Bookout

M.a. Bookout Entrepreneurship Humor Life And Living

If you say anything, it just gets worse.

~ R.l. Mosz

R.l. Mosz Humor Life And Living

It was one of those moments that would have had dramatic music if my life were a movie, but instead I got a radio jingle for some kind of submarine sandwich place blaring over the store's ambient stereo. The movie ofmy life must be really low-budget.

~ Jim Butcher

Jim Butcher Humor Life And Living

When an American family becomes separated from its toothbrushes and combs and pajamas for a few hours it considers that it has had quite an adventure.

~ E.b. White

E.b. White Adventure Americans Family Humor Life And Living

In my day the principal concerns of university students were sex, smoking dope, rioting and learning. Learning was something you did only when the first three weren't available.

~ Bill Bryson

Bill Bryson Humor Learning Students

More often than not, you will never be judged by your intentions because the world can't read minds and very few will know the heart of a person they have not given time to know personally.

~ Shannon L. Alder

Shannon L. Alder Behind Te Deeper Meanings Hidden Agendas Humor Intent Intentions Interpretation Knowing Learning Leshe Scenes Life Not Rumors Satire Silencsons Speculate Speculations Teaching

So, what did you learn?Curiosity asked the Cat, thenpoked her carcass with a stick.

~ Katerina Stoykova Klemer

Katerina Stoykova Klemer Cat Curiosity Humor Learning Regret

He had existed for a long time and was fluent in many languages - most of them…dead ones.

~ Alan Kinross

Alan Kinross Horror Fantasy Humor Knowledge Wisdom Language Learning Undead Vampires

One piece of wisdom a writer quickly learns ~ typos keep you humble.

~ E.a. Bucchianeri

E.a. Bucchianeri Authors Books Embarrassing Moments Funny Funny But True Funny Writing Quotes Humble Humility Humor Humour Learning Learning From Mistakes Sad But True Spell Check Spelling Twitter Quotes Typos Typos Can Be Typos Can Be Phenominal Wisdom Writer Quotes Writers Writing

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

~ Josh Stern

Josh Stern Breath Deep Exhaling Humor Inspirational Learning Patience Positivity
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