Humor Quotes

A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.

~ David Sedaris

. . . mixing defensiveness with anger - a wonderful mix, by the way.

~ Liza Palmer

[Harrier] locked eyes with Zanattar. He couldn't remember another time in his life when he'd been this angry and hadn't hit something.

~ Mercedes Lackey

It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

I kept a straight face while my inner Neanderthal spluttered and then went on a mental rampage through a hypothetical produce section, knocking over shelves and spattering fruit everywhere in sheer frustration, screaming, 'JUST TELL ME WHOSE SKULL TO CRACK WITH MY CLUB, DAMMIT!

~ Jim Butcher

Nothing frustrates people more than a cocky guy who's still winning.

~ Criss Jami

God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought I'd see that guy's finger nail sticking out of my cock.

~ Stephen King

There are as many kinds of anger as there are of the sunsets with which they ought to end.

~ George Macdonald

Do you still want me to go to hell? I must admit, I don't know the way.

~ Robert Thier

The German language is so sonorous, isn't it? Beautiful language...the language of poetry. Angry, angry poetry.

~ John Oliver

There are only two things to be done when a general is angry: One is to get behind the furniture and pretend one is not there, the other is to distract his mind.

~ Mary Roberts Rinehart

If I facepalm myself too much, maybe the pimples will go away.

~ Sam Mamaril

Inu-Yasha: Is it my imagination, or have you been a little prickly l

~ Rumiko Takahashi

That man has some seriously oversized ovaries. Can you say PMS? He barked at anyone and everyone before shoving his way outside.

~ H.m. Ward

That man has some seriously oversized ovaries. Can you say PMS? He braked at anyone and everyone before shoving his way outside.

~ H.m. Ward

I tell you, I'm half tempted to break into CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon out of CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon

~ Ally Carter

God picked me to be his punching bag...so who am I suposed to pray to for mercy?

~ S.l.j. Shortt

The four men were in the kitchen laughing over breakfast when the door slammed open with such force that it knocked a picture off the wall. In unison, they jumped to their feet, not knowing what had hit them. “What?! It wasn’t enough for you to shoot me and kidnap me, so you had to go and butcher my hair? IS THAT IT?” she yelled at the top of her lungs.

~ Debra Trueman

Dr Adams was following my orders if you want to blame someone blame me -casiusoh i do,I'm just so pissed i had extra left over - Jace

~ D.d. Barant

He curled his claw into a fist. I'd like to shove a stake up that bastard's ass.Adam's lip curled. Remind me not to piss you off.The demon raised his brow. Trust that shit, mancy.

~ Jaye Wells

On the porch were the still-smoking remains of long-stemmed roses, evidence that someone angry and passive-aggressive didn't know Peter was out of town.

~ Theric Jepson

Too bad. Game over. Insert new fucking quarter.

~ Nenia Campbell

I stood up in a flash and flushed a light shade of furious.

~ J.l. Mccoy

Want to talk about it? I asked gently.He smirked at me. I appreciate the offer, but I'm a guy. We don't do that. My nose scrunched up in confusion. We don't discuss our feelings.That's a relief; I don't want to talk about it either.

~ Lani Woodland

I have a very low eerie threshold.

~ Jandy Nelson

An assumption is the joke, truth the punchline.

~ Criss Jami

The interior of the arms dealer's private jet was so ugly it hurt my feelings as well as my eyeballs.

~ Terry Hayes

Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert

~ Josh Stern

She fucking turns me inside out.Women who matter have a way of doing that. Lucas scowled. We sound like a couple of women, talking about feelings. I think Sascha's having a bad influence on me.You started it.

~ Nalini Singh

Having writers block sucks more than my actual writing. And my writing would be astonishing if I could write how I feel.

~ Ally Spina

A Man who has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feeling.

~ William Nsubuga

Feelings are like chemicals, the more you analyze them the worse they smell.

~ Charles Kingsley

so, what are you in for? MANSLAUGHTER!!! I SLAUGHTERED A MAN!! JUST LIKE A PIG!!! PUT HIM ON A SPIT AND PUT AN APPLE IN HIS MOUTH!!!!

~ Brian Regan

Man who hates cats is insecure, but a man who likes them is one worth keeping. If he can appreciate a cat, he can appreciate a strong, independent woman.

~ Larissa Ione

They're butterflies because...well, he thought it was cool. They eat humans.

~ Katsura Hoshino

Well if manners maketh man make-up maketh woman.And we don't need a phalanx of behavioural scientists to explain why man judge women by their looks.Because the see bether than thay think.

~ Kathy Lette

Man has been bestowed with all the senses, Alas! What a drama, we are yet to know the art of using it!

~ Ramana Pemmaraju

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

~ Honoré De Balzac

I am not going to pretend to write a love letter to another man.

~ Julianne Donaldson

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head...

~ Bill Cosby