Humor Quotes

That's No'-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock, mistress,' said Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock. 'Ye were one jock short,' he added helpfully.

~ Terry Pratchett

Be careful what you tell me. You could end up in my next novel.

~ P.c. Zick

Courage is not beating up the bully or letting the bully beat you up, it is standing strong before the bully and seeing him for what he truly is: a child of God in need of an attitude adjustment.

~ Toni Sorenson

Courage? I gave a very soft laugh. I find courage is just another of life's illusions. In the end, we all do what we must.

~ Anthony Ryan

Oh sure, everyone else charges monsters and it's brave, I do it once and I'm a madman.

~ Drew Hayes

Courage is most powerful thing inside us, It won't let us run away from any problem.

~ Salman Mansuri

True strength. There is no conflict with vulnerability or humility. Indeed, vulnerability and humility are essential here, and ultimately what makes strength true. One does not don the mask of strength in response to fear, which is a con, like those crazy small reptiles that stand up on their hind legs and spread useless wings to intimidate as a last resort. You stand there in self-respect for Christ’s sake and take it with some courage, responding in accordance with your honest values, taking sincere responsibility for them. Stand up for who you truly are, not the image you would like to sell, nor shrink to fit into the false harmony around you.

~ Darrell Calkins

Penny was a very pretty, witty and brave girl, as bold as a Marine platoon storming Iwo Jima.

~ John C. Wright

Courage is just dreams with shoes on.

~ Reba Riley

Only the great warriors fall down from their horses, one would not fall who rides a donkey cart.

~ Waheed Ibne Musa

Because words have deep meaning, Tweets have power.

~ Germany Kent

This is what life is about: seeing new places, meeting new people, grabbing life by the balls and squeezing until it coughs up a story worth telling.

~ Ruth Cardello

Elizabeth waited until he had left and then promptly burst into laughter. She couldn’t help it, she had been soaked, threatened by a skunk, attacked by a dog and now given a moral lesson by a man that had threatened her with a Winchester earlier. She couldn’t remember having a better day.

~ Grace Willows

You've got drama too?' 'Doesn't everyone?' 'A side effect of breathing, I guess.

~ Kylie Scott

. She was beautiful, and her temperament seemed much better than his first wife did. Arman stopped in the middle of the Windsor knot on his tie. Who was he trying to kid, he thought. An enraged rabid pit bull in heat would have had a better temperament then his first wife.

~ Grace Willows

Everyone thinks to the extent of their depravity.” #HenriettaLedyanova, #FatefulItalianPassion

~ Olgagoa

Elizabeth waited until he had left and then promptly burst into laughter. She couldn’t help it, she had been soaked, threatened by a skunk, attacked by a dog and now given a moral lesson by a man that had threatened her with a Winchester earlier. She couldn’t remember ever having a better day.

~ Grace Willows

You can’t be friends with someone you have feelings for. It’ll just be a constant reminder of what you can’t have. It’s like putting boiling water in an ice cold glass. It’s gonna bust and make a mess.

~ Jaime Reed

The words ‘I love you’ are worthless when you don’t know who the 'I' is in that statement.

~ Jaime Reed

I’d have to prove to everyone, including Ellia, that I was more than some guy she used to know, that what we shared had and still mattered. She may have forgotten the promise we made on the beach, but I hadn’t, and it was up to me to backup those words with action. Memories and ghosts were for the dead. Living things moved, and I was never one to stand still. ~Liam

~ Jaime Reed

She was my go-to person. I’d tell her everything. Now, all of those late-night phone calls, all the sleepovers at her house because I couldn’t deal with stuff at home, all the crying on her shoulder. It’s all gone. It’s like if she doesn’t know, then it didn’t happen, and if it didn’t happen then what exactly am I holding on to?” ~Stacey

~ Jaime Reed

Who cares about fault? As my dad would say, ‘Blame is like your rear-end and reflection. Seeing either always leaves you looking back.’ I’m more worried about what’s in front of me. And right now . . . the view is all messed up.” ~ Ellia

~ Jaime Reed

It’s like returning to a familiar room and noticing objects had been moved while you were gone—a chair here, a picture frame there. Items that were once brand new were suddenly broken in and worn from age. It was all very subtle, but enough to suspect paranormal activity or a cruel practical joke. When no one else saw what you saw, the freak factor really kicked in, because you were singled out and left questioning reality. ~Ellia

~ Jaime Reed

Hope can be foolish or misguided, but there was no such thing as false hope. Hope was always true even when there was no evidence to support its claim.” - Liam

~ Jaime Reed

Love is not for thrill-seekers, dreamers, or children with short attention spans. And you, son, fit into all three of those categories.

~ Jaime Reed

Your present interests are not a solid basis of a career decisions. So, stop following your passion and Do What Is Valuable.!

~ Moutasem Algharati

In today's globalized world nothing is sure. Routines are falling, stereotypes are breaking. Life has never been as piquant as it is now. So go out of your way, leave your cocoon. Do that crazy thing and be happy you did it.

~ Ogwo David Emenike

Help people.Be interested.Make a difference.Live passionately.Go comando.

~ Crystal Woods

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

~ Josh Stern

Life is tough, then you die.

~ George Carlin

Humor (is) the process that allows one to brush reality aside when it gets too distressing.

~ André Breton

When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper so it doesn't ruin your whole day.

~ Jay Wickre

Is this the reality you wanted?

~ Jonghyun

It was Valentine's Day and I had spent the day in bed with my life partner, Ketel One. The two of us watched a romance movie marathon on TBS Superstation that made me wonder how people who write romantic comedies can sleep at night. At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall all-the-time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer. Then, within the two hour time frame of the movie, the couple meet, fall in love, fall out of love, break up, and then just before the end of the movie, they happen to bump into each other by coincidence somewhere absolutely absurd, like by the river. This never happens in real life. The last time I bumped into an ex-boyfriend was at three o'clock in the morning at Rite Aid. I was ringing up Gas-X and corn removers.

~ Chelsea Handler

Or -- and this she knew was a far more accurate way of looking at it -- the book was true and reality was lying.

~ Terry Pratchett

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.-Jack Nicholson

~ Jack Nicholson

You can take a dog outside, but you can't make it pee

~ Micah Amyx

Basically, Sherri's idea had to do with bringing Fat's mind down from the cosmic and the abstract to the particular. She had hatched out the practical notion that nothing is more real than a large World War Two Soviet tank.

~ Philip K. Dick

If you doubt your sanity, is that proof?

~ James Qualls

How had he got here? Only a few minutes ago he'd been a kid, riding his bike to school, collecting comics, doing homework and watching TV. Over the years, a few trappings of adulthood had insinuated themselves into his life withoutmaking significant inroads. Real adult life seemed to exist over there, somewhere as distant and unreachable as Uranus. He had no idea how people crossed over to this place, or why - the demands of being grown up seemed exhausting. Look how I work all the time. See my silky girlfriend. Watch me exchange money for food. Admire my blood pressure.

~ Meg Rosoff