Sarcasm Quotes

All right,” she said a little sarcastically. “I was going to assume you liked eating babies and sacrificing virgins, but I might as well ask, what do you do for fun?”“I languish in sin,” I replied in the same tone. “I take my babies rare, and my virgins over easy.

~ Nenia Campbell

Sometimes, I think, that in the mornings when you first wake up, every thing that happened in the previous day rushes through our mind so fast, we, A: Don't realize it. B: Become more tired, die a little inside, and become groggy. Since everyday, we die a little inside we age closer and closer to death. We constantly grow older, and we're constantly dying. Therefore, don't wake me up early, or I'll take it that you wanted to kill me.

~ Melanie Kay Taylor

Playful, positive sarcasm is different from negative mean sarcasm, and many people don't know the difference.

~ Bryant Mcgill

Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are.What about mummies? Do they only hang around Egypt?Don't be ridiculous. No one believes in mummies.

~ Cassandra Clare

As my laughter faded, he shot me an amused glance. You should laugh more often. It's far less nauseating than your speaking voice. That may be the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Don't let it go to your head.

~ Cecily White

I was starting to hate my sixteenth birthday. A poufy white dress and a cake with roses made out of pink icing and awkward dancing with boys in awkward suits was starting to sound like a great alternative. Seriously. Sign my up, I wouldn't even complain.

~ Alyxandria Harvey

I sheep's idea of bravery : To become a wolf's pet.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Facebook is that successful guy you’re supposed to want to date, but you can’t keep your mind off the beautiful freak in the corner. Twitter is my freak.

~ Jennifer Harrison

Well, bloody noses. I hug his coat tighter. Those are definitely hot.

~ Stephanie Perkins

When it rains it pours and when it shines you get melanoma.

~ Sol Luckman

I love having to attend the one class that is being taught by a professor who feels that their class is the only class being taught at the University and gives nothing but busy work.

~ Heather Chapple

The building is a tumbling house of cards behind me. The bus bitches are paper cutouts.

~ Jolene Stockman

Ignore the reek of feces in the air, the bloodstains on the ground, and you have yourself a glorious night.

~ Katherine Mcintyre

Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.

~ Cassandra Clare

Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.

~ Suzanne Collins

Silverstream: You idiot!!! What are you doing in my territory???Graystripe:...Drowning?Silverstream: Can't you do that in your own territory?Graystripe: Ah, but who would rescue me there?

~ Erin Hunter

I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.

~ J.d. Salinger

Yet, I didn't understand that she was intentionally disguising her feelings with sarcasm; that was usually the last resort of people who are timid and chaste of heart, whose souls have been coarsely and impudently invaded; and who, until the last moment, refuse to yield out of pride and are afraid to express their own feelings to you.

~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.

~ Christopher Moore

Festus just detected a large group of eagles behind us—long-range radar, still not in sight.”Piper leaned over the console. “Are you sure they’re Roman?”Leo rolled his eyes. “No, Pipes. It could be a random group of giant eagles flying in perfect formation. Of course they’re Roman!

~ Rick Riordan

The first time Calypso came to check on [Leo], it was to complain about the noise.“Smoke and fire,” she said. “Clanging on metal all day long. You’re scaring away the birds!”“Oh, no, not the birds!

~ Rick Riordan

If you are going to do that, would you mind not jostling the bed so much?' came a sarcastic voice near the head board. 'Perhaps you could roll around on the floor.

~ Julie Kagawa

That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.

~ Christopher Moore

Knock him out, Paris!''Sure. Want me to spew diamonds from my ass while I’m at it?

~ Gena Showalter

Just three words? Nothing about his physical health? His equipment? His supplies?''You got me,' she said. 'He left a detailed status report. I just decided to lie for no reason.''Funny,' Venkat said. 'Be a smart-ass to a guy seven levels above you at your company. See how that works out.''Oh no,' Mindy said. 'I might lose my job as an interplanetary voyeur? I guess I'd have to use my master's degree for something else.''I remember when you were shy.''I'm space paparazzi now. The attitude comes with the job.

~ Andy Weir

Oh no. Oh God. I couldn't possibly be so stupid.Don't limit yourself. You can be anything you wish.

~ Tessa Dare

I wasn't entirely sure, but a polite John Pritkin might be a sign of the apocalypse.

~ Karen Chance

Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least.

~ Jane Austen

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

~ E.l. James

The mage pulled my knife out of his side and looked at it. “Nice knife.” The voice was deep but female.I threw my second knife. The blade bit into the mage’s chest. Shit. Missed the neck. “Here, have another one.

~ Ilona Andrews

There should be a rule against your own inner monologue throwing around that much sarcasm.

~ Jim Butcher

What happened? he demanded. I heard an explosion!Yeah.That was me. I set the boat alight.What?I set fire to the boat.But we're on the boat!I know.

~ Anthony Horowitz

Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point.

~ Ottilie Weber

Give me a few minutes.”“You have time.” He sat in the grass.“Are you just going to sit there and watch me?”“Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best.”“Peasant?”He shrugged. “You started the name calling.

~ Ilona Andrews

Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks.

~ Stephenie Meyer

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.

~ Terry Pratchett

Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.

~ Christopher Moore

Why do you have a cigarette lighter in your glove compartment? her husband, Jack, asked her. I'm bored with knitting. I've taken up arson

~ Audrey Niffenegger

Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference.

~ Kerry E. Wagner

Promise me you’ll look after yourself … stay out of trouble …’‘I always do, Mrs Weasley,’ said Harry. ‘I like a quiet life, you know me.

~ J.k. Rowling