Wit Quotes

Every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character.

~ Oscar Wilde

Sometimes you can't agree with people because you would both be wrong.

~ Shannon L. Alder

Think of what makes you smile, makes you happy... and do more of that shit.

~ Steve Maraboli

She drank in all their compliments and soon she was full of herself.

~ Joseph Gordon-Levitt

And for God's sake, if you need to shoot make sure to release the safety ,” he murmured, as we moved across the front, careful to stick to the shadows as often as we could. So far, I hadn't seen anyone, not even zombies. It wasn't uncommon for a straggler to come along, every now and then. Lucky for us, we were remote enough that we hadn't had any major issues with any hordes locating us. The men were quick to dispatch any zombies that hung around, not willing to take the risk that somehow they could communicate with each other. Not to mention, the zombies were strong and fast. It was better to end them, rather than to risk them one day killing one of us.

~ Rose Wynters

Today I am amused, and I haven't seen anyone yet.

~ Aleksandra Ninkovic

Some things are so silly they have a certain brilliance to them. Other things, set as standards for brilliance and therefore exalted by many who don't know why, become tarnished because of it.

~ Criss Jami

ONLY' having the Gift, people appreciate this madness as Art. Everybody wants to have Art in their lives, but no body wants to have what the Art came out from in their lives...

~ Hiroko Sakai

Here comes Mamma Vauquerr, fair as a starrr; and strung up like a bunch of carrots. Aren't we suffocating ourselves a wee bit?' he asked, placing a hand on the top of her corset. 'A bit of a crush in the vestibule, here, Mamma! If we start crying, there'll be an explosion. Never mind, I'll be there to collect the bits--just like an antiquary.''Now, there's the language of true French gallantry,' murmured Madame Vauquer in an aside to Madame Couture.

~ Honoré De Balzac

Nobody ever goes to that store to shop because it’s too crowded.

~ Sol Luckman

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk is without question the most fascinating entertainment there is.

~ Diana Vreeland

And now, my poor old woman, why are you crying so bitterly? It is autumn. The leaves are falling from the trees like burning tears- the wind howls. Why must you mimic them?

~ Mervyn Peake

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

~ William Shakespeare

It's an easy guess, why some get famous over night and not during the day.

~ Aleksandra Ninkovic

Cleverness is like rouge - liberal application makes a woman look common and desperate. Wit is knowing how to apply it.

~ Tessa Dare

Caro: Bite me.Ruby: I gave that up in kindergarten.

~ Kristin Hannah

Black Mage: I was joking.Red Mage: OH. See, I was confused by the total lack of comedy.

~ Brian Clevinger

Richard looked up to find a thirty-ish, tall, black haired man sauntering towards him with a smile that said “You can trust me”, but really meant “Don’t believe a word I say”. This was Jack, and he hadn’t changed a bit.

~ Alexander Ferrick

He felt that such a life in which one could display such sarcasm and wit was after all to a certain degree worth living.

~ Richmal Compton

Then the small man suddenly ran after them and said:I want to get my haircut. I say, do you know a little shop anywhere where they cut hair properly? I keep on having my hair cut, but it keeps on growing again.One of the tall men looked at him with the air of a pained naturalist.

~ G.k. Chesterton

She wished she had a set of greeting cards at the ready, but Hallmark probably didn’t make any that said Thank you for giving up your life so that me and my friends could escape! It was SO appreciated. XOXO!

~ Gina Damico

It was a very proper wedding. The bride was elegantly dressed---the two bridemaids were duly inferior---her father gave her away---her mother stood with salts in her hand expecting to be agitated---her aunt tried to cry--- and the service was impressively read by Dr. Grant.

~ Jane Austen

terrorism n.Violence for political purposes or the politically motivated threat of violence which, either intentionally or unintentionally, challenges the state's monopoly on political violence.

~ Leslie Starr O'hara

conservative n.A person who possesses an underdeveloped taste for tyranny.liberal n.A person who believes in liberty, but only for the state.

~ Leslie Starr O'hara

preemptive strike n.A blow or punch delivered by military aircraft to a target who is suspected of being adverse to one's plot for world domination.

~ Leslie Starr O'hara

Life is not easy. We all have problems-even tragedies-to deal with, and luck has nothing to do with it. Bad luck is only the superstitious excuse for those who don't have the wit to deal with the problems of life.

~ Joan Lowery Nixon

I wondered what he would have thought if he'd known that I'd gleaned most of my information from reading historical romance novels.

~ Nicole Luiken

In my dictionary, romance is not maudlin, treacly sentiment. It is a curry, spiced with excitement, and humour, and a healthy dollop of cynicism.

~ Loretta Chase

At last a lifetime ambition of mine to become a pimp was satisfied.

~ Jack Woodford

He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'.

~ Mark Twain

Look, he's winding up the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike.

~ William Shakespeare

Why did men have to ruin everything? The answer was simple, she supposed—because foolish women gave them the chance

~ Tessa Dare

Deep down, he's shallow.

~ Peter De Vries

When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any.

~ Will Advise

To be knowledgeable, learn new things every day; to be wise, unlearn things that you learn with wit and love.

~ Debasish Mridha

What you did tonight was clever,” Wit said. “You turned an attack into a promise. The wisest of men know that to render an insult powerless, you often need only to embrace it.

~ Brandon Sanderson

You remember having friends who used to lampoon the world so effortlessly, crouching at the verge of every joke and waiting to pounce on it, and you remember how they changed as they grew older and the joy of questioning everything slowly became transformed into the pain of questioning everything, like a star consuming its own core.

~ Kevin Brockmeier

You sounded like Dolly parton on helium.(After kristy lee cook of season 7 on american idol,sang her country rendition of the Beatles'Eight Days A Week.)

~ Simon Cowell

It was like orderin a hamburger and getting only the buns(After Brooke White of season 7 on american idol sang the song 'Hero'by Mariah Carey)

~ Simon Cowell

Author is the prisoner of his thoughts .

~ Rajiv Bakshi