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It would actually constitute more than a miracle, he realised. It would take divine intervention plus luck, plus some unknown element of cosmic wizardry.

~ David Baldacci

David Baldacci Books Divine Funny Miracle Shaw Truth Whole

Wedded she some years, and to a manOf fifty, and such husbands are in plenty;And yet, I think, instead of such a ONE'Twere better to have TWO of five and twenty...

~ George Gordon Byron

George Gordon Byron Funny Truth

Wer lügt, hat die Wahrheit immerhin gedacht.

~ Oliver Hassencamp

Oliver Hassencamp Funny Humour Truth

Umgangsformen sind Formen, die zunehmend umgangen werden.

~ Oliver Hassencamp

Oliver Hassencamp Funny Humour Truth Wisdom

The common man prays, 'I want a cookie right now!' And God responds, 'If you'd listen to what I say, tomorrow it will bring you 100 cookies.

~ Criss Jami

Criss Jami Bigger Picture Cookie Cute Faithfulness Figurative Foreknowledge Funny God Hard Work Humility Humor Impatience Knowledge Literal Metaphor Misunderstanding Obedience Omniscience Patience Prayer Praying Prudence Time Timing Understanding Waiting Work

GOD. Sometimes I think there might be a god out there, and that every once in a while he tunes in to see what we're up to, and have a good laugh at how we like to dress him up in various costume. Robes, thorny crowns, yarmulkes and curls, saris and butt-hugging yoga pants. Male, female, a genderless reincarnation factory; a Mother Earth or a withholding Father Christmas. I would think it would amuse the hell out of him. That we're all idolaters, worshiping figments of our own creation who bear no resemblance to him.Maybe he's sitting in some alternate dimension somewhere, saying, 'Shit, I didn't even create the world! I was just cooking my dinner, not paying attention to the heat, and suddenly here was this big band and a few hours later, a bunch of dinosaurs...

~ Suzanne Morrison

Suzanne Morrison Big Bang Theory Funny God

To some believers, being on the pill or using a condom is a nonverbal way of telling God to go to hell.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Adage Adages Africa African Aphorism Aphorisms Atheism Atheist Atheists Axiom Axioms Believer Believers Bible Blessing Blessings Child Childfree Childless Children Condom Condoms Contraceptive Contraceptives Curse Cursed Cursing Deep Dictum Dictums Epigram Epigrams Funny Gift Gifts Gnome Gnomes God Heaven Hell Humor Humorous Humour Insightful Kid Kids Made Me Think Make You Think Maxim Maxims Newborn Newborns Nonbeliever Nonbelievers Nonverbal On The Pill Philosopher Pill Pills Pregnancy Pregnant Procreate Procreation Profound Proverb Proverbs Provoke Thought Quotation Quotations Quote Quote Of The Day Quotes Religion Religious Reproduce Reproduction Satire Satirical Satirist Satirists Saying Sayings Selfish Selfishness South Africa South African The Pill Thought Provoking Thoughtful Verbal

It goes without saying that even those of us who are going to hell will get eternal life—if that territory really exists outside religious books and the minds of believers, that is. Having said that, given the choice, instead of being grilled until hell freezes over, the average sane human being would, needless to say, rather spend forever idling in an extremely fertile garden, next to a lamb or a chicken or a parrot, which they do not secretly want to eat, and a lion or a tiger or a crocodile, which does not secretly want to eat them.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Adage Adages Africa African Aphorism Aphorisms Atheism Atheist Atheists Axiom Axioms Believer Believers Bible Book Books Chicken Chickens Christian Christianity Christians Crocodile Crocodiles Dead Death Deep Devour Dictum Dictums Eat Epigram Epigrams Fertile Fertility Freeze Funny Garden Gardens Gnome Gnomes God Grill Grilled Heaven Hell Humor Humorous Humour Immortal Immortality Insightful Lamb Lambs Life Lion Lions Made Me Think Make You Think Maxim Maxims Mortal Mortality Nonbeliever Nonbelievers Parrot Parrots Philosopher Prey Profound Proverb Proverbs Provoke Thought Quotation Quotations Quote Quote Of The Day Quotes Religion Religious Satire Satirical Satirist Satirists Saying Sayings South Africa South African Territory Thought Provoking Thoughtful Tiger Tigers

I tended to hate people that hit me in the head without warning.

~ Amanda Hocking

Amanda Hocking Alice Funny Hit Wisdom

It is not really hard to do nothing. Many can. The hard part is doing nothing without feeling guilty about it.

~ Haim Shapira

Haim Shapira Funny Happiness Wisdom

They say watch the breathing, watch the diet and for God’s sake make that kid go quiet. But they never say: “I am wrong and you are right”, because the self –pride they always want to hide! But in time, like the truth it shall come to surface and all those lies, that awful misery they always boast about will be extinct, whilst their conscience filled with guilt.

~ Mircea Popister

Mircea Popister Bold British Daring Envy Famous Funny Guilt Inspirational Wisdom

Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Adage Adages Africa African Aphorism Aphorisms Authority Axiom Axioms Bondage Child Children Control Controlling Cultivated Cultured Deep Deep Pockets Dictum Dictums Dominance Dominate Domination Dominion Dwarf Dwarfs Economies Economy Educated Education Employed Employment Enlightened Enslavement Epigram Epigrams Erudite Fool Foolish Fools Freedom Funny Giant Giants Gnome Gnomes Humor Humorous Humour Ignoramus Ignorant Impossibilities Impossible Influence Informed Insightful Intelligent Invent Invented Invention Job Jobs Kid Kids Knowledge Knowledgeable Made Me Think Make You Think Master Masters Mastery Maxim Maxims Midget Midgets Money Monied Monies Old Philosopher Poor Possibilities Possibility Possible Poverty Power Profound Proverb Proverbs Provoke Thought Quotation Quotations Quote Quote Of The Day Quotes Rich Riches Satire Satirical Satirist Satirists Saying Sayings Scholarly Serfdom Servitude Slave Master Slave Masters Slavery South Africa South African Strong Thought Provoking Thoughtful Thrall Thralldom Vassalage Weak Weakness Wealth Wealthy Well Educated Well Informed Well Read Wisdom Wise Work Working Young

Wise men don't feel companionless when they are not in the company of their egos.

~ Delian Zahariev

Delian Zahariev Funny Funny But True Funny Humor Funny Quotes Human Nature Humor Humorous Humorous Quotes Inspirational Inspirational Attitude Inspirational Quotes Wisdom Wisdom Quotes Wise Quotes Wise Words

Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Adage Adages Africa African Aphorism Aphorisms Axiom Axioms Deep Dictum Dictums Epigram Epigrams Fame Famous Fool Foolish Fools Funny Gnome Gnomes Humor Humorous Humour Insight Insightful Insights Made Me Think Make You Think Maxim Maxims Philosopher Profound Profundity Proverb Proverbs Provoke Thought Quotation Quotations Quote Quote Of The Day Quotes Remark Remarked Remarks Rich Riches Satire Satirical Satirist Satirists Saying Sayings South Africa South African Stupid Stupidity Thought Provoking Thoughtful Wealth Wealthy Wisdom Wise

I don’t want to freeze my eggs. I don’t want to visit a sperm bank. I don’t want to be a single parent, if I have any choice in the matter. I want a nuclear family. I want to put down roots, to let my seeds germinate, to watch them bloom and flourish. Not one day, if and when I ever fall in love again, but now. While I still have my youth, damn it.

~ Monica Pradhan

Monica Pradhan Funny Inspirational Quotes

I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit!

~ Sharon Swan

Sharon Swan Exit Ghost Funny Happiness Happy Humor

When she absently worried her bottom lip with one of her adorable little fangs, he sighed..Dear gods, it’d finally happened to him.Happiness.Then his own fangs sharpened.I will kill anyone who tries to take this feeling away from me.

~ Kresley Cole

Kresley Cole Elizabeth Funny Happiness Immortals After Dark Kresley Cole Lothaire

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

~ Bauvard

Bauvard Funny Happiness Humor

Respect? Of course, always, to all, because everything seems funnier when you're trying to show respect.

~ Criss Jami

Criss Jami Equality Funny Funny But True Happiness Humor Laughter Love Respect Sense Of Humor

For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Adage Adages Advantage Africa African Ambition Ambitious Aphorism Aphorisms Axiom Axioms Benefit Benefits Deceive Deception Deep Dictum Dictums Envious Envy Epigram Epigrams Fake Funny Gnome Gnomes Happiness Happy Humor Humorous Humour Insightful Jealous Jealousy Made Me Think Make You Think Maxim Maxims Philosopher Pretend Pretended Pretending Pretense Profit Profiting Profound Proverb Proverbs Provoke Thought Quotation Quotations Quote Quote Of The Day Quotes Satire Satirical Saying Sayings Sincere Sincerely South Africa South African Succeed Success Successful Thought Provoking Thoughtful Unhappiness Unhappy

Even so have I given the womb of the earth to those that be sown in it in their times.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

They that be born in the strength of youth are of one fashion, and they that are born in the time of age, when the womb fail, are otherwise.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

Seeing thou hast now given me the way, I will proceed to speak before thee: for our mother, of whom thou hast told me that she is young, draw now nigh unto age.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

Like as a young child may not bring forth the things that belong to the aged, even so have I disposed the world which I created.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

What betrayed me? Was it my heart? Or my Soul?

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

Stand up upon the right side, and I shall expound the similitude unto thee.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

Consider with thyself; as the rain is more than the drops, and as the fire is greater than the smoke; but the drops and the smoke remain behind: so the quantity which is past did more exceed.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

As for the tokens whereof thou ask me, I may tell thee of them in part: but as touching thy life, I am not sent to shew thee.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

Iniquity shall be increased above that which now thou see, or that thou hast heard long ago.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

The land, that thou see now to have root, shall thou see wasted suddenly.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

If the most High grant thee to live, thou shall see after the third trumpet that the sun shall suddenly shine again in the night, and the moon thrice in the day:

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

Blood shall drop out of wood, and the stone shall give his voice, and the people shall be troubled:

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

He shall rule, whom they look not for that dwell upon the earth, and the fowls shall take their flight away together:

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

The Sodomy sea shall cast out fish, and make a noise in the night, which many have not known: but they shall all hear the voice thereof.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

There shall be confusion also in many places, and the fire shall be oft sent out again, and the wild beasts shall change their places, and menstruate women shall bring forth monsters:

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

Salt waters shall be found in the sweet, and all friends shall destroy one another; then shall wit hide itself, and understanding withdraw itself into his secret chamber-

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

One land also shall ask another, and say, ‘Is righteousness that makes a man righteous gone through thee?’ And it shall say, ‘No.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

At the same time shall men hope, but nothing obtain: they shall labor, but their ways shall not prosper.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

To shew thee such tokens I have leave; and if thou wilt pray again, and weep as now, and fast even days, thou shall hear yet greater things.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing

An extreme fearfulness moves through all your body, and your mind is troubled more.

~ Compton Gage

Compton Gage Apocalypse Apocalyptic Books Change Death Dreams Education Faith Fear Freedom Friendship Funny God Happiness History Hope Horror Humanity Humor Humour Inspiration Inspirational Intelligence Knowledge Leadership Life Loneliness Motivation Motivational Nature Pain Paranormal Peace People Philosophy Poetry Politics Quotes Relationships Religion Science Soul Spiritual Spirituality Success Time Truth War Wisdom Writing
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