Famous Quotes

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

~ Dorothy Parker

Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.

~ Eoin Colfer

Jace shook his blond head in exasperation. You had to make a crazy jail friend, didn't you? You couldn't just count ceiling tiles or tame a pet mouse like normal prisoners do?

~ Cassandra Clare

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

~ George Bernard Shaw

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

~ Terry Pratchett

The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.

~ Nikolai Gogol

My rapier wit hides my inner pain.

~ Cassandra Clare

Headline? he asked.'Swing Set Needs Home,' I said.'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,' he said.'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,' I said.

~ John Green

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

~ Charles Lamb

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

~ Oscar Wilde

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

~ Oscar Wilde

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.

~ Steve Martin

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on TheeAnd I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.

~ Robert Frost

Magnus, standing by the door, snapped his fingers impatiently. Move it along, teenagers. The only person who gets to canoodle in my bedroom is my magnificent self.Canoodle? repeated Clary, never having heard the word before.Magnificent? repeated Jace, who was just being nasty. Magnus growled. The growl sounded like Get out.

~ Cassandra Clare

Ginny! said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?

~ J.k. Rowling

Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!

~ J.k. Rowling

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

~ George Carlin

I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed.

~ J.k. Rowling

Alec looked at her and shook his head. How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?Isabelle shrugged philosophically. I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt.

~ Cassandra Clare

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

~ Pat Monahan

Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.

~ Candace Bushnell

Why do people say grow some balls? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.

~ Sheng Wang

You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.

~ Rick Riordan

DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.

~ Terry Pratchett

Oh, we're playing nice now? Shall we have tea first? Brew up a nice pot of kiss-my-ass?

~ Julie Kagawa

Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.

~ Zig Ziglar

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

~ Mae West

It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.

~ Rick Riordan

It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.

~ Suzanne Collins

We need to talk. All of us About what we're going to do now.I was going to watch Project Runway.

~ Cassandra Clare

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

~ Ellen Degeneres

Humor is reason gone mad.

~ Groucho Marx

Can you be a girl for a few seconds?I'm always a girl I frown.You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girlI twirl my hair around my finger. Kay.

~ Veronica Roth

Sebastian just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?”“That you seem to be dating my dad?” Jace shrugged. You’re a little young for him, to be honest.”“What?” For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted.

~ Cassandra Clare

People, generally, suck.

~ Christopher Moore

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

~ Douglas Adams

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

~ Robin Williams

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

~ Mark Twain

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.

~ Isaac Asimov

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

~ Terry Pratchett