Famous Quotes

When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles......they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle.

~ Dr. Seuss

She'd also called me brave...unless she was talking to the catfish.

~ Rick Riordan

That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.

~ Stephen King

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

~ Mark Twain

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny.

~ Brandon Sanderson

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.

~ Steven Moffat

I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed, never be nominated for a Grammy, never have a hit song, and that he hoped I’d fail. I said to him, ‘Someday, when we’re not together, you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee at the fucking deli without hearing or seeing me.

~ Lady Gaga

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

~ Garrison Keillor

We did it, we bashed them wee Potter's the one, and Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!

~ J.k. Rowling

Going round and around inside a dryer can be fatal, whereas pasta is rarely fatal. Unless Isabelle makes it.

~ Cassandra Clare

Is this Clarissa Fray? The voice on the other end of the phone sounded familiar, though not immediately identifiable.Clary twirled the phone cord nervously around her finger. Yeees?Hi, I'm one of the knife-carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? Im afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a chance to make it up to-SIMON! Clary held the phone away from her ear as he cracked up laughing. That is so not funny!Sure it is. You just don't see the humor.Jerk. Clary sighed, leaning up against the wall.

~ Cassandra Clare

have i gone mad?im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.

~ Lewis Carroll

Inconceivable!You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

~ William Goldman

Sections in the bookstore- Books You Haven't Read- Books You Needn't Read- Books Made for Purposes Other Than Reading- Books Read Even Before You Open Them Since They Belong to the Category of Books Read Before Being Written- Books That If You Had More Than One Life You Would Certainly Also Read But Unfortunately Your Days Are Numbered- Books You Mean to Read But There Are Others You Must Read First- Books Too Expensive Now and You'll Wait 'Til They're Remaindered- Books ditto When They Come Out in Paperback- Books You Can Borrow from Somebody- Books That Everybody's Read So It's As If You Had Read Them, Too- Books You've Been Planning to Read for Ages- Books You've Been Hunting for Years Without Success- Books Dealing with Something You're Working on at the Moment- Books You Want to Own So They'll Be Handy Just in Case- Books You Could Put Aside Maybe to Read This Summer- Books You Need to Go with Other Books on Your Shelves- Books That Fill You with Sudden, Inexplicable Curiosity, Not Easily Justified- Books Read Long Ago Which It's Now Time to Re-read- Books You've Always Pretended to Have Read and Now It's Time to Sit Down and Really Read Them

~ Italo Calvino

No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know! the man yelled. Really? said Vimes. What's the orbital velocity of the moon?What?Oh, you'd like something simpler?

~ Terry Pratchett

They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?

~ Julie Kagawa

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely.

~ Cassandra Clare

It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.

~ Neil Gaiman

Hercules,huh? Percy frowned. That guy was like the Starbucks of Ancient Greece. Everywhere you turn--there he is.

~ Rick Riordan

Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.

~ David Sedaris

...disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business....

~ Tom Robbins

Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.

~ Stephen King

There is nothing more luxurious than eating while you read—unless it be reading while you eat. Amabel did both: they are not the same thing, as you will see if you think the matter over.

~ E. Nesbit

I really can't think about kissing when I've got a rebellion to incite.

~ Suzanne Collins

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

~ G.k. Chesterton

Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head. Eddie DeChooch

~ Janet Evanovich

Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.

~ John Green

Why it's simply impassible!Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible? Nothing's impossible!

~ Lewis Carroll

Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.

~ Charles Bukowski

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

~ Ellen Degeneres

You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world!

~ James Dashner

[My mom's] funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it's her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that.

~ Rick Riordan

You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!

~ Lauren Myracle

You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

~ Anne Lamott

Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.

~ Oscar Wilde

Ask me if I sparkle and I’ll kill you where you stand.” (Bones)

~ Jeaniene Frost

You've got to get obsessed and stay obsessed.

~ John Irving

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

~ Mark Twain

There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)

~ D.j. Machale