Classy Quote logo
  • Home
  • Categories
  • Authors
  • Topics
  • Who said

Famous Quotes

Famous quote from classy quote

The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.

~ Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking Humor Science

Hush Hattie! I said, intoxicated with my success. I don't want to go to my room. Everyone must know I shan't marry the prince. I ran to the door to our street, opened it, and called out into the night, I shan't marry the prince. I turned back into the hall and ran to Char and threw my arms about his neck. I shan't marry you. I kissed his cheek. He was safe from me.

~ Gail Carson Levine

Gail Carson Levine Humor Romance

It was impossible to get the Dimitri and Tasha thing out of my head, but at least packing and getting ready made sure I didn't devote 100 percent of my brain power to him. More like 95 percent.

~ Richelle Mead

Richelle Mead Humor

Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?

~ David Sedaris

David Sedaris Fashion Humor Self Doubt Self Worth

If I behave as though this is a completely normal situation, then maybe it will be ...

~ Sophie Kinsella

Sophie Kinsella Humor Pretend Situation

Some kids get called 'bundles of joy' or 'slices of heaven' or 'dreams come true.' We got 'the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.' Doesn't have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I'm oversensitive.

~ James Patterson

James Patterson Angel Euphemisms Humor Max Maximum Ride Maxride

If you're right & I'm not, I'm going to be hell to live with, she said. So, you better think about that next time you want to be right.

~ Brian Andreas

Brian Andreas Humor Relationships Story People

You know how confusing the whole good-evil concept is for me.

~ Jim Butcher

Jim Butcher Evil Good Good And Evil Humor Morality

I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.

~ Stephen King

Stephen King Family Humor Parents

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

~ Ray Romano

Ray Romano Children Humor Parenting

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

~ Will Rogers

Will Rogers Funny Humor Media

Man is certainly stark mad; he cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens.

~ Michel De Montaigne

Michel De Montaigne Gods Humor Madness Superstition

Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.

~ Dick Francis

Dick Francis Humor Paraphrased Weirdness

[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble.] Calvin: Ha! I've got a great word and it's on a Double word score box! Hobbes: ZQFMGB isn't a word! It doesn't even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It's a worm found in New Guinea! Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I'm looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I'll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What's your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.

~ Bill Watterson

Bill Watterson Humor Scrabble

So what else can I tell you? I asked. I mean, to get you to reveal Lily to me.She triangled her fingers under her chin. Let's see. Are you a bed wetter?Am I a...?Bed wetter. I am asking if you are a bed wetter.I knew she was trying to get me to blink. But I wouldn't.No, ma'am. I leave my beds dry.Not even a little drip every now and then?I'm trying hard to see how this is germane.I'm gauging your honesty. What is the last periodical you read methodically?Vogue. Although, in the interest of full disclosure, that's mostly because I was in my mother's bathroom, enduring a rather long bowel movement. You know, the kind that requires Lamaze.What adjective do you feel the most longing for?That was easy. I will admit I have a soft spot for fanciful.Let's say I have a hundred million dollars and offer it to you. The only condition is that if you take it, a man in China will fall off his bicycle and die. What do you do?I don't understand why it matters whether he's in China or not. And of course I wouldn't take the money.The old woman nodded.Do you think Abraham Lincoln was a homosexual?All I can say for sure is that he never made a pass at me.Are you a museumgoer?Is the pope a churchgoer?When you see a flower painted by Georgia O'Keefe, what comes to mind?That's just a transparent ploy to get me to say the word vagina, isn't it? There. I said it. Vagina.

~ David Levithan

David Levithan Honesty Humor

...I doubt very seriously whether anyone will hire me.'What do you mean, babe? You a fine boy with a good education.'Employers sense in me a denial of their values.' He rolled over onto his back. 'They fear me. I suspect that they can see that I am forced to function in a century I loathe. This was true even when I worked for the New Orleans Public Library.

~ John Kennedy Toole

John Kennedy Toole Employment Humor Humour Work

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

~ Steven Wright

Steven Wright Humor Writing

You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

P.g. Wodehouse Humor Nietzsche

An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea. Churchill's response, Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.

~ Winston S. Churchill

Winston S. Churchill Classic Insult Humor Humour Retort

We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter, but work is third.

~ Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope Friendship Humor Waffles Work

You know how to shoot?- EmmaYes. My dad taught me everything about gun safety. He was an expert. - HeatherWhat happened to him? -ShannaHe was...shot. -Heather

~ Kerrelyn Sparks

Kerrelyn Sparks Humor

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.

~ Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein Analogy Humor Science

You think I'd cheat on you? I demanded with all the innocent outrage I could muster.With another guy, no. With a cheeseburger . . . in a heartbeat.

~ Lisa Kleypas

Lisa Kleypas Comedy Humor Romance

The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, 'All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.

~ Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa Christianity Conservative Democrat Fundamentalism Homosexuality Humor Liberal Progressive Religion Republican Science

George Bush isn't Hitler. He could be if he applied himself.

~ Margaret Cho

Margaret Cho Bush Sucks Humor

We do need a system, and we do need you and your 'Bertos, and sometimes we need Sam to just come along and kick some ass. - Quinn

~ Michael Grant

Michael Grant Gone Series Government Humor Money

You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

~ Steven Wright

Steven Wright Books Humor Reading

Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”What do you know? I’m in command

~ Andy Weir

Andy Weir Humor

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tyson pounding the Earthborn into the ground like a game of whack-a-mole. Ella was fluttering above him, dodging missiles and calling out advice: The groin. The Earthborn's groin is sensitive.SMASH!Good. Yes. Tyson found its groin.

~ Rick Riordan

Rick Riordan Cyclops Groin Humor Son Of Neptune Tyson

There is a proverbial saying chiefly concerned with warning against too closely calculating the numerical value of un-hatched chicks.

~ Neil Gaiman

Neil Gaiman Humor

They don't fit you? V asked his roommate. Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People. Butch held his heavy arms out and turned in a circle, his bare chest catching the light. I mean, come on.They're for fighting, not fashion.So are kilts, but you don't see me rocking the tartan.And thank God for that. You're too bowlegged to pull that shit off.Butch assumed a bored expression. You can bite me.

~ J.r. Ward

J.r. Ward Black Dagger Brotherhood Butch Vishous Humor Paranormal Romance Romance Vishous Vampire

A telkhine was hunched over a console, but he was so involved with his work, he didn't notice us. He was about five feet tall, with slick black seal fur and stubby little feet. He had the head of a Doberman, but his clawed hands were almost human. He growled and muttered as he tapped on his keyboard. Maybe he was messaging his friends on uglyface.com.

~ Rick Riordan

Rick Riordan Humor Internet Percy Jackson

Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs.

~ J.k. Rowling

J.k. Rowling Humor

I'm a girl of extremes. When I love something, I'm like a puppy dog (without all the licking). When I'm cranky, I'm a wasp (like a whole hive of 'em). And when I'm angry, I'm a Mother Bear with a predator after her cubs: Dangerous.

~ James Patterson

James Patterson Humor

Music is crucial. Beyond no way can I overstress this fact. Let's say you're southbound on the interstate, cruising alone in the middle lane, listening to AM radio. Up alongside comes a tractor trailer of logs or concrete pipe, a tie-down strap breaks, and the load dumps on top of your little sheetmetal ride. Crushed under a world of concrete, you're sandwiched like so much meat salad between layers of steel and glass. In that last, fast flutter of your eyelids, you looking down that long tunnel toward the bright God Light and your dead grandma walking up to hug you--do you want to be hearing another radio commercial for a mega, clearance, closeout, blow-out liquidation car-stereo sale?

~ Chuck Palahniuk

Chuck Palahniuk Death Humor Music Truth

i told you he'd freak out, she siad. didn't i?ah, the i told you so, jace said. always a classy move

~ Cassandra Clare

Cassandra Clare Classy Humor

You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, 'What the fuck?

~ Nalini Singh

Nalini Singh Humor

I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned.

~ George Gordon Byron

George Gordon Byron Atheism Belief Christianity Humor Religious

It is the iron. Grimalkin picked his way over a puddle, then leaped atop a fallen tree, shaking out his paws.This close to the false king's realm, his influence is stronger that ever. It will be worse once you are actually within its borders.Puck snorted.Doesn't seem like it's affecting you much, Cat.That is because I am smarter than you and prepare for these things.Really? How would you prepare for me tossing you into a lake?

~ Julie Kagawa

Julie Kagawa Grimalkin Humor Puck

How can a person deal with anxiety? You might try what one fellow did. He worried so much that he decided to hire someone to do his worrying for him. He found a man who agreed to be his hired worrier for a salary of $200,000 per year. After the man accepted the job, his first question to his boss was, Where are you going to get $200,000 per year? To which the man responded, That's your worry.

~ Max Lucado

Max Lucado Anxiety Humor Story Worry
Load More classy quote icon
  • Classy Quote

    ClassyQuote has been providing 500000+ famous quotes from 40000+ popular authors to our worldwide community.

  • Other Pages

    • About Us
    • Contact Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
  • Our Products

    • Chrome Extention
    • Microsoft Edge Add-on
  • Follow Us

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
Copyright © 2026 ClassyQuote. All rights reserved.