Famous Quotes

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

~ Alfred Hitchcock

I am your sire. I am to guide you through your first days as a vampire. Your first feeding is a rite of passage, a sacrament. It will not be wasted on some hormone-driven frenzy. This is why I wanted you to feed from me.”“I will not drink it in a house, I will not drink it with a mouse. I will not drink it here or there, I will not drink it anywhere,” I wheezed, hoping I was able to communicate adequate sarcasm through the crippling belly cramps.“Did you just quote Green Eggs and Ham?

~ Molly Harper

Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.

~ Christopher Moore

A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.

~ Mark Twain

When I grow up, I'd like to be dangerous.

~ Kirsten Miller

My beard grows down to my toes,I never wears no clothes,I wraps my hairAround my bare,And down the road I goes.

~ Shel Silverstein

A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.

~ Mary Karr

Wit is educated insolence.

~ Aristotle

You don't need a search warrant to go through someone's trash. Seriously. Once it hits the curb it is totally fair game-you an look it up.

~ Ally Carter

Principled hate is a hell of a lot stronger than Boy, I wish you hadn't mummified me and thrown me into the lake hate.

~ John Green

Mulling this over, Vlad wiped her lip gloss from his lips with the back of his hand.Vampires, after all, didn't sparkle.

~ Heather Brewer

Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?

~ William Makepeace Thackeray

The sh*t's gonna splatter, start buggin, yo...Mencheres to Cat

~ Jeaniene Frost

Before I could lose my courage, I said, Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the army marching toward us. Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then, we'll see.

~ Rick Riordan

Yo, beautiful. Come pop this collar off me.”Natalya hissed, “Are you mad?”“What’s she gonna do? Vivisect me? Imprison me? We’ve got a pact to fulfill,remember?” To Dorada, she cried, “Seriously, sweetheart, shake that mummified ass over here.”Regin kicked the glass. “Lemme the fuck out—”La Dorada swung her head around,peering at Regin with her one eye.“Okay. That’s freaky. Lookit, Gollum, if you spring me, I’ll help you find your Precious.

~ Kresley Cole

His mouth captured hers, trying to show her with his kiss what he was still learning to express in words. He loved her.He worshipped her. He'd walk across fire for her. He——still had the audience of her three brothers.Slowly breaking the kiss, he turned his face to the side. Anthony, Benedict, and Colin were still standing in the foyer.Anthony was studying the ceiling, Benedict was pretending to inspect his fingernails, and Colin was staring quite shamelessly.

~ Julia Quinn

An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said.'I could have tripped.'She stared at him. A moment dragged by.'I'm joking,' he said at last.She relaxed. 'Really?''Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful.

~ Derek Landy

Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.

~ Lewis Carroll

But with dogs, we do have bad dog. Bad dog exists. Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog! The dog is saying, Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.

~ Eddie Izzard

Ask any guy if sex is important in a relationship and the one who says no is lying. I just haven't met that guy yet. When you meet him, let's get him in to the Smithsonian - he's that special and rare.

~ Steve Harvey

Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

~ John Callahan

If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes.

~ Scott Lynch

Sed paused in his song, feeling ridiculous for singing it to her while they made love.“Baby, you realize this song is about Trey’s dead dog, don’t you?

~ Olivia Cunning

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

You must have been going very fast.I was, until I hit the fence.

~ Anthony Horowitz

The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.

~ Dorothy Parker

Bite me, Harry Potter.

~ Meg Cabot

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum

~ Janet Evanovich

I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?

~ Terry Pratchett

I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.

~ Ilona Andrews

Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK.- Jane

~ J.r. Ward

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch.

~ Lili St. Crow

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

~ Terry Pratchett

Finding a life partner is like choosing a bed. You need one as a friend either in times of health or sickness. Freshness or weariness. Happiness or sadness. And we can be certain that we've picked the right one without having to sleep with it first.

~ Isman H. Suryaman

So you were going to rescue the Prince! Why did you pretend to run away? To deceive the Witch?Not likely! I'm a coward. Only way I can do something this frightening is to tell myself I'm not doing it!

~ Diana Wynne Jones

Talk is cheap. Show me the code.

~ Linus Torvalds

It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes.

~ George Carlin

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous andshallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what youknow ain't so'.

~ Mark Twain

Apparently, dancing for him and throwing herself at him weren't enough. Apparently, she had to nearly commit murder to arouse him enough to attack her.

~ Gena Showalter

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

~ Graham Chapman