Famous Quotes

Elend: I kind of lost track of time…Breeze: For two hours?Elend: There were books involved.

~ Brandon Sanderson

So why in the name of Merlin’s saggy left —”“Don’t talk to your mother like that.

~ J.k. Rowling

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

~ Steven Wright

Well,” Tessa said, sighting along the line of the knife, “you behave as if you dislike me. In fact, you behave as if you dislike us all.”“I don’t,” Gabriel said. “I just dislike him.” He pointed at Will.“Dear me,” said Will, and he took another bite of his apple. “Is it because I’m better-looking than you?

~ Cassandra Clare

Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.

~ George Carlin

What are you grinning at? Katsa demanded for the third or fourth time. Is the ceiling about to cave in on my head or something? You look like we're both on the verge of an enormous joke.Katsa, only you would consider the collapse of the ceiling a good joke.

~ Kristin Cashore

You could start a fire with the heat between you two.You're mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection.

~ Michelle Hodkin

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

~ David Sedaris

It unscrews the other way.

~ J.k. Rowling

I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.

~ Cassandra Clare

Two hundred Romans, and no one’s got a pen? Never mind! He slung his M16 onto his back and pulled out a hand grenade. There were many screaming Romans. Then the hand grenade morphed into a ballpoint pen, and Mars began to write. Frank looked at Percy with wide eyes. He mouthed: Can your sword do grenade form?Percy mouthed back, No. Shut up.

~ Rick Riordan

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

~ Woody Allen

Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.

~ Charles M. Schulz

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody come sit next to me.

~ Alice Roosevelt Longworth

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.

~ Lemony Snicket

Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, Do it again; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, Do it again to the sun; and every evening, Do it again to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.

~ G.k. Chesterton

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

~ Terry Pratchett

HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)

~ Terry Pratchett

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

~ Groucho Marx

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

~ Ellen Degeneres

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

~ Erma Bombeck

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.

~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

Alas! Earwax!

~ J.k. Rowling

The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.

~ Socrates

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

~ P.g. Wodehouse

Every one suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known.

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

What is it with you today?” says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face.“Oh, you know,” I say. “Sun shining. Birds chirping.”She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel.

~ Veronica Roth

You're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

~ Joss Whedon

It has often been saidthere’s so much to be read,you never can cramall those words in your head.So the writer who breedsmore words than he needsis making a chorefor the reader who reads.That's why my belief isthe briefer the brief is,the greater the sighof the reader's relief is.And that's why your bookshave such power and strength.You publish with shorth!(Shorth is better than length.)

~ Dr. Seuss

Nobody's ever asked me to a party before, as a friend. Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine too?

~ J.k. Rowling

The love of books is among the choicest gifts of the gods.

~ Arthur Conan Doyle

I've always thought people would find a lot more pleasure in their routines if they burst into song at significant moments.

~ John Barrowman

You're a stalker with hooves.I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.

~ Rick Riordan

You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want.

~ Diana Wynne Jones

Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes.

~ Warren Ellis

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

~ Dorothy Parker

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.

~ Douglas Adams

Sane is boring.

~ R.a. Salvatore

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.

~ Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

FEAR stands for fuck everything and run.

~ Stephen King