Irony Quotes

Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.

~ Terry Pratchett

...it’s just another one of those things I don’t understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone else into the same ridiculous mould. It’s an artist’s right to rebel against the world’s stupidity.

~ E.a. Bucchianeri

But you see, a rich country like America can perhaps afford to be stupid.

~ Barack Obama

(About sweeping)....What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.

~ Terry Pratchett

It would be the last thing he did if he beat my dog.

~ Holly Hood

[Or perhaps my friends should have realized that they shouldn't have left behind the FRICKING REASON FOR THEIR PROTEST!And that thought just cracked me up.]It was like my friends had walked over the backs of baby seals in order to get to the beach where they could protest against the slaughter of baby seals.

~ Sherman Alexie

But though it had prevailed against such fierce adversaries as fire and flood, it had fallen victim softly and swiftly to television in the 1960's.

~ Kate Morton

I’m meeting the attic before I meet the girl.

~ Colleen Hoover

You could write a book about things that you can't find on-line.

~ Maggie Stiefvater

Luckily, even as a young man not yet become himself, John Bridgens had two things besides indecision that kept him from self-destruction - books and a sense of irony.

~ Dan Simmons

I don't spend money on books. I write them myself.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

She lived in fear of ifonic endings. (91)

~ Anne Lamott

I would die for you, my love—in old age.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Hey, GreenHollyWood the mistake was mine that I added you as a friend... I thought that you are my friend... but your irony doesn't end.

~ Deyth Banger

When it comes to judging individuals, I do not like remarks such as 'too good to be true.' They speak as though one is rewarding the nature of evil. Yet, ironically, we still wonder where all the good people have gone.

~ Criss Jami

People strive to be ahead of time just to get a chance to trip it.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you’re smart, you’ll end up as a comedian. If you’re not, you’ll end up as a clown.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

For the whole earth is the tomb of famous men; not only are they commemorated by columns and inscriptions in their own country, but in foreign lands there dwells also an unwritten memorial of them, graven not on stone but in the hearts of men. Make them your examples, and, esteeming courage to be freedom and freedom to be happiness, do not weigh too nicely the perils of war.[Funeral Oration of Pericles]

~ Thucydides

It is the oldest ironies that are still the most satisfying: man, when preparing for bloody war, will orate loudly and most eloquently in the name of peace.

~ Alan Moore

War is always an adventure to those who've never seen it.

~ Anthony Ryan

Those darling byegone times, Mr Carker,' said Cleopatra, 'with their delicious fortresses, and their dear old dungeons, and their delightful places of torture, and their romantic vengeances, and their picturesque assaults and sieges, and everything that makes life truly charming! How dreadfully we have degenerated!

~ Charles Dickens

He saw that it was an ironical thing for him to be running thus toward that which he had been at such pains to avoid.

~ Stephen Crane

The world had been divided into two parts that sought to annihilate each other because they both desired the same thing, namely the liberation of the oppressed, the elimination of violence, and the establishment of permanent peace.

~ Hermann Hesse

Only in war does the madman become sane.

~ Anthony Ryan

He won’t stop the war until you give him the peace prize.

~ Mohammed Hanif

Will you stay in Germany?''No. Somewhere different.''Like where?''Somewhere there was no war. Ireland maybe.

~ Audrey Magee

He was shivering like a Wicklow sheepdog in a snowy yard, though the weather was officially 'clement'.The first layer of clothing was his jacket, the second his shirt, the third his long-johns, the fourth his share of lice, the fifth his share of fear.

~ Sebastian Barry

Sometimes it might be kinder to kill a man, than to take his dreams from him.

~ Mika Waltari

It's that feeling you get somehow knowing that something great is about to happen... about to happen. While every passing day nothing great really does happen. You wake up, go to classes, study, sleep and wait for another monotonous day.You know the great day is not tomorrow, not even the day after, not even in a week or a month's time. But it says it will come soon, the way you live your life, one day at a time, only to realize 20 years have elapsed effortlessly.It will come soon, the way you meet someone without expecting or knowing that you are going to have so much fun together. It will come soon, the way dreams come true overnight- demanding years of perspiration, ironically.It will come soon like a gush of cold air in a hot afternoon.It will come soon like a stranger you feel you have already met.It will come like a guest who would be here to stay.It will come like an eternity, a serendipity, an irony.It will come when it is time for it to come, the way you fall asleep and dreams arrive from a distant land, surely but stealthily.

~ Sanhita Baruah

It might seem to you that living in the woods on a riverbank would remove you from the modern world. But not if the river is navigable, as ours is. On pretty weekends in the summer, this riverbank is the very verge of the modern world. It is a seat in the front row, you might say. On those weekends, the river is disquieted from morning to night by people resting from their work.This resting involves traveling at great speed, first on the road and then on the river. The people are in an emergency to relax. They long for the peace and quiet of the great outdoors. Their eyes are hungry for the scenes of nature. They go very fast in their boats. They stir the river like a spoon in a cup of coffee. They play their radios loud enough to hear above the noise of their motors. They look neither left nor right. They don't slow down for - or maybe even see - an old man in a rowboat raising his lines...I watch and I wonder and I think. I think of the old slavery, and of the way The Economy has now improved upon it. The new slavery has improved upon the old by giving the new slaves the illusion that they are free. The Economy does not take people's freedom by force, which would be against its principles, for it is very humane. It buys their freedom, pays for it, and then persuades its money back again with shoddy goods and the promise of freedom.

~ Wendell Berry

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn.

~ Joss Whedon

The thing about changing the world... Once you do it, the world's all different.

~ Joss Whedon

Can't you see that I'm only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb?

~ Petronius Arbiter

The worst mistake a writer can make is to assume everyone has an imagination.

~ Andrew Mcewan

It's hard to maintain a reputation for being grim and mysterious when you're accompanied by a brightly clad young thing, skipping merrily along at your side, holding your hand, and smiling sweetly on one and all.

~ Simon R. Green

I was much affected by the internal troubles of the Punch family; I thought that with a little more tact on the part of Mrs. Punch and some restraint held over a temper, naturally violent, by Mr. Punch, a great deal of this sad misunderstanding might have been prevented.

~ Edmund Gosse

I don’t know whether Asimov realized he was saying this as well, but as an old historical materialist, if only as an afterthought, he must have realized that he was saying too: No one here will ever look at you, read a word you write, or consider you in any situation, no matter whether the roof is falling in or the money is pouring in, without saying to him- or herself (whether in an attempt to count it or to discount it), 'Negro...' The racial situation, permeable as it might sometimes seem (and it is, yes, highly permeable), is nevertheless your total surround. Don’t you ever forget it...! And I never have.

~ Samuel R. Delany

I got married. A bright past is ahead of me!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

If one cannot learn from the mistakes of others, one might as well become a Democrat.

~ Esther M. Friesner

Whatever we may think of the merits of torturing children for pleasure, and no doubt there is much to be said on both sides, I am sure we all agree that it should be done with sterilized instruments.

~ G.k. Chesterton