Humor Quotes

I watched you undress. Shame on you!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

While the man is putting on it's shoes, the woman can buy dozens of high heels.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

He has his head in the clouds. He must live in a skyscraper.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

His boat sank. They were all on his side.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

In his life there was only one woman. The other one.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

They were all on his side. Hi boat sank.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Love is worth dying for, said the spermatozoid.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Some people stride toward a better future. Others have chauffeurs.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

He’d reached that perilous stage of being drunk enough to think himself a good dancer… but was dangerously close in tipping over to the point where he’d act like an arse

~ Iain Clements

Welhewan is charming us,' Sasha says in an unsure voice. 'It is trying to soothe us with its lullaby. Do not let yourself . . . Oh, a butterfly. Look how beautiful it is! No, don't look. The forest is making us happy, and we cannot let it.

~ Sarah Dalton

Never let anyone use your toothbrush or your pen. -Author Wllm Worth

~ Wllm Worth

I don't eat food, I eat fat.

~ Bradley Wright

When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system’s game. The establishment will irritate you – pull your beard, flick your face – to make you fight. Because once they’ve got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don’t know how to handle is non-violence and humor.

~ John Lennon

The truth is, I feel myself being fascinated and repelled by her: She's both a mirror of myself and a door to part of this island that I'm not.

~ Maggie Stiefvater

Jack, be nimble, Jack, be quickJill's a little whore and her alibis are dirty tricks

~ Set It Off

Searching through Monster.com while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married.

~ Crystal Woods

Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99.

~ Ryan Lilly

Quotes are echos of voices transporting wisdom, humor, and love. Returning again to the human condition, fleeting once more as a dove.

~ Ryan Lilly

I get this buzz every time I'm quoted online. The ego high... yes... but also a Google Alert.

~ Ryan Lilly

If all it takes to motivate you is a quote then this quote has nothing to say – except to go soar with the freakin’ eagles.

~ Ryan Lilly

I'm considering writing a self-help book and giving people 20 cents to read it. This way, I can be sure they all get new paradigms.

~ Ryan Lilly

[An example of misattribution:]If you don’t know the source of a quote,you can always make it sound better by attributing it to me.— Mark Twain

~ Jakub Marian

Why would you come to Italy to see Spanish steps? That's like going to China for Mexican food, isn't it?

~ Rick Riordan

I mean, I can understand not being as pricey as Percy or Jason, maybe... but am I worth, like, two Franks, or three Franks?

~ Rick Riordan

Always think in circles to get your ideas around

~ Benny Bellamacina

Never trust a fiction author. They spend countless hours making you believe in a world they created. They are among the best, most dedicated liars in the world.

~ James Ticknor

Pause while reading a book only in case of two things:1. To kiss2. To sip coffeeToo bad both are a luxury.

~ Saleem Sharma

I'll take risk on what I do on my life . Just mind your own business .

~ Azlnrdzi

Instead of playing Draw Something, fucking draw something

~ Nick Offerman

Without a sense of humor, you don't have much sense at all.

~ Pen

We all know I’m marrying you, as soon as you get over your thing with dog tags and realize a stethoscope is way sexier, anyway.” - Tanner

~ Kandi Steiner

Avoid the stage of old age sit in the audience, it's all the rage

~ Benny Bellamacina

I guess it’s worth a shot.” More than likely a wasted bullet, but I’ll fire anyway.

~ Brandy Nacole

Islam expect every Muslim to do this duty, and if we realise our responsibility time will come soon when we shall justify ourselves worthy of a glorious past.

~ Muhammad Ali Jinnah

Come forward as servants of Islam, organize the people economically, socially, educationally and politically and I am sure that you will be a power that will be accepted by everybody.

~ Muhammad Ali Jinnah

That's what I meant,' said Pippin. 'We hobbits ought to stick together, and we will. I shall go, unless they chain me up. There must be someone with intelligence in the party.

~ J.r.r. Tolkien

So does that mean if you won’t fuck me because I’m high, I could fuck you because you’re not?

~ K.a. Mitchell

If you find yourself cutting corners, go in a circle instead

~ Benny Bellamacina

Could the two people who are making out please be quiet? the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. Those of us who are not making out are drunk and tired.

~ John Green

I know what ails you.

~ Tom Lucas