Humorous Quotes

The real certificate is to know Jesus Christ.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

What we ought to know we never be taught in the classroom.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

One of the most common and most dangerous misbeliefs is that it is impossible for someone to be stupid just because they are a doctor or a lawyer.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Memories of the past are what drive us, whether to a life of beauty or a life of insanity is up to us.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

In the end all the puzzles of your life will be solved ,until then... laugh at the scepticism, live for the moment and remember everything happens for a reason.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Every interaction is an opportunity to learn, Only if we are interested in improving rather than proving.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Life is a university, you will keep learning new things all the time. The tombstone will be your degree.Make sure it's worth a fortune for those who admire you.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, So ... Love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don't. Life is 10% what you make it 90% how you take it.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Life is about the moments you create, that you can keep it with you FOREVER. After everything is over,That is what we have or what we are left with.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

A person with good heart is always happy. However its a myth because most of the time his heart is full of wounds as it except only good thing from others still he love the people who treat it right & pray for the ones who don't

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Life is about the moments you create,that you can keep with you forever.After everything is over,That is what we have or what we are left with.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends. Love means nothing in tennis,But it's everything in life

~ Abhysheq Shukla

If someone talks bad about us, we feel bad. If someone talks good about us we feel good. The question is ,Have we given our remote to others for the way we feel?Live your life in your way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Abhysheq Shukla

For a happy life,it's best we should ignore &overlook things,people,incidents,affairs & matters.It is not necessary that we show a reaction to everything. Step back & ask yourself if the matter is really worth responding to.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

If we try to see something positive in everything we do, life won't necessarily become easier but it becomes more valuable.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

A lot of pain that we are dealing with are really only THOUGHTS.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

The most important subject in the curriculum in the future years will be how to love ourselves and be content.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Literacy rate tells us about the section of society who can read and write, but do we have a tool which can share the stats about out how many educated illiterates we have in our society.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Tenderhearted people are silent sufferers they just learn the art to fly with broken wings.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

There's a story behind every I don't believe in lovePeriod

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Its not your fault for not being there.Its my fault for thinking you would be

~ Abhysheq Shukla

We live in a society where every business has a huge scope. Even if you open a shop selling snakes people will buy it. Thinking they will direct them to their neighbors house.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Create your own path.Don't blindly follow the massess... because most of the time the M is silent.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Your friends can be double-edged knife thy can either nurture you or destroy you. Choose them Wisely......

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Growing older doesn't mean that you are more mature than everyone who is younger than you. Maturity is a lot of things, and age has nothing to do with it.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she'd been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn't, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.

~ Derek Landy

I’m twenty-four, a first grade teacher, have a Yorkie named Pedro, a goldfish named Fish, have never had sex, or a serious boyfriend, and I’m the town lesbian who pukes when she sees a pussy. Nothing really to be jealous of at all.

~ H.j. Bellus

A smile is the best way to get oneself out of a tight spot, even if it is a fake one. Surprisingly enough, everyone takes it at face value. I read that in a book.If you keep staring at me, I'll hit you.I only became part of your team recently when I replaced Sasuke, so I don't know everything that's going on. I don't really understand people either. But even I can tell that Naruto really loves you. Naruto's been shouldering that promise for a long time...I think he means to shoulder it for the rest of his life. I don't know what you said to him, but it's just like what's been done to me - it feels like a curse. Sasuke causes Naruto pain, but I think you do too.Sasuke is only helping spread his darkness across the world. Letting him live will only sow the seeds of another war. He's just another criminal now. Sasuke lost all hope of coming back when his group, Akatsuki, attacked our village. Your fellow Konoha shinobi would never accept him now. Sakura's not stupid, either. She understands the position he's put us all in. That's why she came out here, to tell you herself.

~ Masashi Kishimoto

If you wish for pearls, pray always.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

People of understanding, pursue peace.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

~ Victor Borge

Valkyrie walked to the back door, which hadn't been closed properly, shut it and locked it. There was now a baby in the house, after all. She couldn't take the chance that a wild animal might wander in and make off with Alice, like those dingoes in Australia. She was probably being unfair to both dingoes and Australia, but she couldn't risk it. Locked doors kept the dingoes out, and that's all there was to it, even if she didn't know what a dingo actually was. She took out her phone, searched the Internet, found a picture of a baby dingo and now she really wanted a baby dingo for a pet.

~ Derek Landy

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.

~ Carroll Bryant

To ugly ducklings everywhere,Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:They'll never get to be swans

~ Zoë Marriott

-He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful.-It was stupid.

~ Lloyd Alexander

I shot him a look. That bouncer was really big.His lips quirked. Oh, Kitten, see, I try not to say bad things.What?The grin spread. I would say size doesn't matter but it does. I would know. he winked, and I let out a disgusted groan. He laughed.

~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. I have to go.You just got here.Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress.You're making that up.I'm not.So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis?

~ Rick Riordan

Forgive me....I called you an idiot. I spoke too hastily. You are not. Had I given it more thought, I would have called you a scoundrel.

~ Lloyd Alexander

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

~ Carroll Bryant