Wit Quotes

So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.''Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.

~ Cassandra Clare

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn.

~ Joss Whedon

Someone once told me that we move when it becomes less painful than staying where we are.

~ Anne Hines

Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

~ Arthur Wellesley

I'm living so far beyond my means that we may almost be said to be living apart.

~ Saki

He lies down next to me.He says, 'You know - you have a face to die for/''Well, don't die,' I say, we just met.

~ Gwendoline Riley

Historical Re-creation, he thought glumly, as they picked their way across, under, over or through the boulders and insect-buzzing heaps of splintered timber, with streamlets running everywhere. Only we do it with people dressing up and running around with blunt weapons, and people selling hot dogs, and the girls all miserable because they can only dress up as wenches, wenching being the only job available to women in the olden days.

~ Terry Pratchett

Ever since I discovered that my god given male member was going to give me no peace, I decided to give it no rest in return.

~ Christopher Hitchens

The difference ‘twixt poet and coxcomb is precisely that the latter stops gaps like a ship fitter caulking seams, merely to keep the boat afloat, while the former doth his work as doth a man with a maid: he fills the gap, but with vigor, finesse, and care; there’s beauty and delight as well as utility in his plugging

~ John Barth

In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.

~ Graydon Carter

Help yourself with the state! It's on democracy!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his own temper.

~ Wilkie Collins

No sensible man ever engages, unprepared, in a fencing match of words with a woman.

~ Wilkie Collins

If I be waspish, best beware my sting.

~ William Shakespeare

[I]f you seek in every way to minimise my firm beliefs by your anti-feminist attacks, please recall that a small dagger or knife point can pierce a great, bulging sack and that a small fly can attack a great lion and speedily put him to flight.

~ Christine De Pizan

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

To be human is to seek beauty, Shallan. Do not despair, do not end the hunt because thorns grow in your way.

~ Brandon Sanderson

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

~ Oscar Wilde

Beauty is more a danger than intelligence or wit. One becomes a living mirror for the inadequacies of others.

~ Gordon Dahlquist

Lady Placida smiled. “History seldom takes note of serendipity when it records events. And from what I have heard, I suspect an argument could be made that you very much did earn the title.”“Many women have earned titles, Your Grace. It doesn't seem to have been a factor in whether or not they actually received them.”Lady Placida laughed. “True enough. But perhaps that is beginning to change.” She offered her hands. “It is a distinct pleasure to meet you, Steadholder.

~ Jim Butcher

Frederick's wit was impressive. When a descendant of Ghengis Khan, who was wreaking havoc in the Muslim world, wrote threateningly that the holy Roman Emperor should surrender his lands and come to his court to become one of his vassals, Frederick replied that he'd think about it and to please hold open the position of falconer.

~ Nancy Goldstone

A good lover? One percent talent and ninety nine percent hard work.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

True wit is nature to advantage dressed;What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed.

~ Alexander Pope

You're maybe eighteen. Your mother didn't love you enough so you decided to pierce your lip and brand your body to piss her off. You hang around this band because they make you feel like you belong. And most days you wish you were in a band of your own, but you know that probably will never happen. I met his eyes waiting.I'm twenty. my mother has an assload of tattoos herself, she thinks its art. I have a lip ring because it turns girls on when I do this. He licked his lip, lingering on the metal for a couple intense seconds. My eyes fluttered with nervousness.

~ Holly Hood

A bunch of bad songs, make an awful whine.

~ Benny Bellamacina

Take care of your car in the garage, and the car will take care of you on the road.

~ Amit Kalantri

Among all the machines, motorcar is my favorite machine.

~ Amit Kalantri

I am so obsessed with the cars that sometimes I feel like my heart is not a muscle, it's an engine.

~ Amit Kalantri

I love the wheels, I mean steering wheel.

~ Amit Kalantri

His father was an ass and he is an ass. I imagine sooner than I should like I shall be playing uncle to a litter of asses.

~ T.a. Miles

Let your personality be your profit and not your punishment.

~ Amit Kalantri

question the status quo; rebuke the existing rules, though it may be at the discomfort of the masses. They may however come to a later realization that it was really worth it and you may now have the status quo

~ Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd.

~ Shannon L. Alder

You can't fight hatred with hatred and expect anyone to listen to you. You can only try to lessen it with humor, wit, truth and commonsense. If that doesn't work run like hell, while they throw rocks at you.

~ Shannon L. Alder

Wit and puns aren't just decor in the mind; they're essential signs that the mind knows it's on, recognizes its own software, can spot the bugs in its own program.

~ Adam Gopnik

What good is it if they miss your face but not your mind?

~ Crystal Woods

A true leader leads for the sake of love and his knowledge of the path, a bad leader redirects his followers to the path of destruction.

~ Michael Bassey Johnson

Foolish minds will entertain you, but confuse minds will irritate you.

~ Amit Kalantri

Fuck, Christina.”“Yes, fuck Christina. I think she'd like that.

~ Nenia Campbell

In spite of being complicated people choose superstitions over common sense.

~ Amit Kalantri