Sarcasm Quotes

I got married. A bright past is ahead of me!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

You are soft person you said. But you're soft as shit: it is very soft but stinking!

~ Ilze Falb

I was woken early and had breakfast with the guru. We had some spicy Rice Krispies and a spicy biscuit with some really sweet, milky tea. Not the way I normally like it, but I drank it anyway as I didn’t want to offend him. I suppose that is my heart telling me how to act instead of my head again. My arse may get involved later though.

~ Karl Pilkington

I’d heard street food was a big thing here in Mexico but I didn’t think it meant the creatures that lived on the street.

~ Karl Pilkington

In the battle of DNAs, your DNA will always win against the DNA of your father.

~ Prashant Yadav

Oh, to be the author of prison letters. It's a young girl's dream come true.

~ Jenny B. Jones

Not one of the boys like me. I’ve put their noses out of joint.”“Well, they were never good-looking lads.

~ Luggs

It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking

~ Stephen Fry

Please do not think that I am accusing socialists of insincerity or that I wish to hold them up to scorn either as bad democrats or as unprincipled schemers and opportunists. I fully believe, in spite of the childish Machiavellism in which some of their prophets indulge, that fundamentally most of them always have been as sincere in their professions as any other men. Besides, I do not believe in insincerity in social strife, for people always come to think what they want to think and what they incessantly profess. As regards democracy, socialist parties are presumably no more opportunists than are any others; they simply espouse democracy if, as, and when it serves their ideals and interests and not otherwise. Lest readers should be shocked and think so immoral a view worthy only of the most callous of political practitioners, ...

~ Joseph Alois Schumpeter

Help yourself with the state! It's on democracy!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Welcome to the 21st century cosmopolitan world where biased thoughts preside over unbiased deeds, simple gestures become overrated gossip materials and injustice is a part of long term justice.

~ Adhish Mazumder

What tale do you like best to hear?' 'Oh, I have not much choice! They generally run on the same theme - courtship; and promise to end in the same catastrophe - marriage.

~ Charlotte Brontë

Men weigh love with hands.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

He might not be here, but the day he misses an opportunity to party is the day Jocelyn Wildenstein is considered the paragon of beauty.

~ Danielle Esplin

A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

You are perfectly right in objecting to them [modern art], for this one great fault - that they have not yet had time to become old.

~ Alexandre Dumas

A good lover? One percent talent and ninety nine percent hard work.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

No one plows the field just by thinking about it.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.

~ Jess C. Scott

Just married! A bright past is ahead of them!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Behind every successful woman is a hungry man.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

..each ministry has an allocation of money to spend on projects agreed to by the government. Every Secretary of State is acutely aware that his tenure of office maybe very short, so he picks out a major contract for himself from the many available. It's the one way to ensure a pension for life if the government is changed overnight or the minister simply loses his job.

~ Jeffrey Archer

I wish there was some method to transform all the agony in my imprudent heart to an energy source. It would have lit up the world till eternity!!!

~ Alcatraz Dey

You jealous souls are primeval without a doubt,Teach yourself to eat better instead of trying to eat one's heart out.

~ Adhish Mazumder

On the line beside Describe your family, I wrote, Bad.What is your favorite subject in school? None.List three of your favorite activities. Soccer, ballet, and fighting.Two of those favorite activities were lies but one of them was the truth.I am fond of fighting.

~ Barbara O'connor

If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd.

~ Shannon L. Alder

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

~ Josh Stern

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down

~ Josh Stern

I know the power of speech. I don't talk much.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Big people never scare me. I am a little man. I can easily hide.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he’s up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again......Did he have a bathroom in the tower?Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!?

~ Jonathan Dunne

I know a lie when I hear one.

~ Adrian Mitchell

I give away examples!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

I watched you undress. Shame on you!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Who am I to judge me?

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

While the man is putting on it's shoes, the woman can buy dozens of high heels.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

I will take all my rights! Can you deliver them to my house?

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

You have the chance to remain silent. Everything you say will be misused.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Love is worth dying for, said the spermatozoid.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova