There is never another one of you in exactly the same spot you are in right now, so give yourself a break and release blame from the past so you can be free to move around the future!!
~ Monika Zands
You know what I could use? A thrill.
~ Jim Moorman
Owning a drone does not a pilot make.
~ Alex Morritt
A comedian is better than a politician, at least there is no doubt.
~ Bangambiki Habyarimana
Wisdom of the Ages: Look out Below! Air Asia's catchy new advertising slogan.
~ Matthew Heines
Wisdom of the Ages: Forgiveness Steroids for the Soul.
If you have pain in your ass, it doesn’t mean you have done something wrong, but it’s probably because you’re wearing your little brother’s underwear.
~ Waheed Ibne Musa
If one door closes and another door opens, chances are your house is haunted.
~ Tanya Masse
I was tired of this silly joking about my 'speaking countenance'. I could keep a secret as well as anyone. Poirot had always persisted in the humiliating belief that I am a transparent character and that anyone can read what is passing in my mind.
~ Agatha Christie
I surround myself with books when I write, thus surrounding myself with writers... only they don't critique me and then get up for coffee.
~ Ryan Lilly
Wisdom of the Ages: Humility If you don't have it, you're gonna get it.
My friend says she's smart. She reads a book to fall asleep.
~ Nicholaa Spencer
I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They're like, 'Who is this guy?' And I'm like, 'the end of your industry.
Learn to look up now and then, just in case a piano is falling from overhead.
~ Richelle E. Goodrich
Using Facebook is like taking a Dyson to your spare time.
~ Gemini Adams
Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.
~ Matshona Dhliwayo
I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married.
Like most bad ideas, it started with alcohol.
~ Cy Wyss
If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.
A mother’s eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.
The P-38 WWII Nazi handgun looks comical lying on the breakfast table next to a bowl of oatmeal.
~ Matthew Quick
Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you’re right.
Two things are infinite, a woman’s patience and her husband’s mistakes.
The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.
Women make the world go round, men turn it upside down.
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.
Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.
Wisdom of the Ages: President's Day One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.
Wisdom of the Ages Unsuccessful Town Slogans Sequim (WA)- We put the Dung in Dungeness.
Wisdom of the Ages News People Always joking around and happy. I guess that proves that ignorance really is bliss.
Wisdom of the Ages: Rainier A beer and a mountain. You drink enough of one and the next day you feel like you fell off the other.All next week Wisdom of the Ages will be featuring the Seattle Seahawks and Super Bowl Topics. Tomorrow's Topic: Tom Brady's Balls.
Wisdom of the Ages: Skull and Bones A secret society of spoiled twits whose apparent purpose in life is littering the landscape with as many as possible.
Wisdom of the Ages: Tooth Fairy Growing up in the Northwest was tough. For years I thought the Tooth Fairy was a big boat with cars and sharp teeth.
Wisdom of the Ages: The Pope and Congress It looks as if confidence in the American voter to exorcise the demons in the Capitol has completely fallen through.
Wisdom of the Ages: Soylent Green No matter how many times I see that movie, I still get a hankerin' for a Big Mac.
I like to go to Starbucks and watch the intellectuals. I observe them and their intellectualness. They in turn observe me drinking coffee and being a creeper.
People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required.
~ Wes Adamson
So this is what men are like. Well, that's it, then - I am going to be a lesbian.
~ Louise Rennison
The smell of new office supplies is so satisfying while being kicked out of Staples for inappropriate behavior with a file folder is so embarrassing.
Do billboard salesmen record their sales on charts? If so, who's at the top of the billboard charts for billboard sales?
