Humorous Quotes

YOU have to design your own Price tag for the world.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Only Boiled Seeds are afraid of failure.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

No matter what goals you set to accomplish always remember there is a thing known as Life which you should never forget to live and enjoy

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Don’t be afraid of failures it takes courage to try new things & only those who try create miracles.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future

~ Abhysheq Shukla

IF you want to be a winner than follow one simple rule and feed it in your mind. Take each task and work as Do it yourself project.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Sometimes life is like living in a chamber of Liquid Oxygen. Liquid don't allow you to live and Oxygen don't let you die.

~ Abhysheq Shukla

Verily, for nine hundred years have I lost. Everyone I knew is dead, the empire gone, and who knows in what state the world is left. Should what thy sister reports prove true, much hath changed in the w

~ Michael J. Sullivan

Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day.

~ E.j. Stevens

Space: the gaping hole between land and other land.

~ Se Zbasnik

All kidding aside…” I focus back on Pyke, genuine sincerity in my tone.“Thank you…for everything. For dragging my ‘clueless ass’ through the ocean, andover hill and vale, when you knew it was futile and stupid—but that I’d still try to do it, with or without your help. Thanks for tracking me down when I was alone and helpless; and for giving me a voice when I thought all hope was lost—”“Ugh, for crying out loud…Enough already,” Pyke squirms, a nauseatedgrimace twisting his hairy face. “Now you’re going way overboard with thegratitude…That kind of gushy crap is meant to be dished out in small doses,” he gripes. “Please make it stop…before I have to snap my own neck, just to end the suffering.” He backs away into the crowd, giving Tristan’s shoulder one more slap with a sly wink. “Hurry up, Man, and do something. Kiss her, muzzle her…shove a sock in her mouth—

~ M.a. George

Closed head trauma is about as much fun as nude paintballing.

~ D.c. Farmer

Adventuring turned out to be boring. Zach thought back to all the fantasy books he'd read where a team of questers traveled overland, and realized a few things. First he'd pictured himself with a loyal steed that would have done most of the walking, so he hadn't anticipated the blister forming on his left heel or the tiny pebble that seemed to have worked its way under his sock, so that even when he stripped off his sneaker he couldn't find it.He hadn't thought about how hot the sun would be either. When he put together his bunch of provisions, he never thought about bringing sunblock. Aragorn never wore sunblock. Taran never wore sunblock. Percy never wore sunblock. But despite all that precedent for going without, he was pretty sure his nose would be lobster-red the next time he looked in the mirror.He was thirsty, too, something that happened a lot in books, but his dry throat bothered him more than it had ever seemed to bother any character.And, unlike in books where random brigands and monsters jumped out just when things got unbearably dull, there was nothing to fight except for the clouds of gnats, several of which Zach was pretty sure he'd accidentally swallowed.

~ Holly Black

How passionate have you embrace life?

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

There is no other shame like senseless sin.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

If you wish to compare, compare yourself with God's commandment.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

It is man who forsake is Maker.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

If a man can save himself, there is no need for a Saviour.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

A great mission by a great woman.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

He crouched at the care window and looked in. What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one. His finger jabbed the glass. That one's a bit ugly.The American stepped towards him. What? What did you say?Oh, don't worry. I'm sure his personality makes up for his face.

~ Derek Landy

Family, can’t live with them, can’t orbitally bombard them back to the foul, oozing proto-plasma they crawled out of, I thought grimly.

~ Luke Sky Wachter

A question that always makes me hazy is it me or are the others crazy'Albert Einstein

~ Victoria Ward

Of all the things in the world, I'm particularly amazed at, is the conviction with which the MIND, endorses an Idea, which is phenomenal, as it differentiates the Genius from Mediocre, or not to forget the human stupidity in particular!

~ Ramana Pemmaraju

God shows us the path, the Devil shows us the possibilities.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Some people stride toward a better future. Others have chauffeurs.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?

~ Ryan Lilly

Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99.

~ Ryan Lilly

I didn't do anything wrong. I swear.'He grunted. 'Like I've never heard that before. Funny, but I expected a little more originality from Moira's daughter.''Yeah, well, the dog ate my notebook with all my good excuses.

~ Mindee Arnett

Without craziness, there is no courage.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

I am a strong woman, I can endure it all.

~ Lailah Gifty Akita

Only the great warriors fall down from their horses, one would not fall who rides a donkey cart.

~ Waheed Ibne Musa

I wanted to write in Kitchenese, the secret language of cooks, instantly recognizable to anyone who has ever dunked french fries for a summer job or suffered under the despotic rule of a tyrannical chef or boobish owner.

~ Anthony Bourdain

When reality and your dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.

~ Crystal Woods

Positiveness is not a god gift. Things are negative when you realize that frog inside you is not able to jump high.

~ Tanmay Patange

What I know now is that gallant young men rarely get pussy. Put it on a sampler and hang it in your kitchen.

~ Stephen King

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few simple stretching exercises and you can be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. You'll be amazed how time flies.

~ Chuck Palahniuk

Nigromanta took him to her room, which was lighted with false candlesticks, to her folding cot with the bedding stained from bad loves, and to her body of a wild dog, hardened and without a soul, which prepared itsself to dismiss him as if he were a frightened child, and suddenly it found a man whose tremendous power demanded a movement of seismic readjustment from her insides.

~ Gabriel García Márquez

My sub doesn't pay for me,” he says, pulling me to my feet. “That just doesn't happen.”“But we ordered so much,” I say helpl

~ Nenia Campbell

In my experience, the romance novels written about BDSM have about as much in common with actual BDSM relationships as a child playing with a jump rope.

~ Nenia Campbell

Sticks and Stones may break my bones,but whips and chains excite me.So throw me down, tie me up,and show me how you like me.

~ Skye Eagleday