Irony Quotes

While the man is putting on it's shoes, the woman can buy dozens of high heels.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

I will take all my rights! Can you deliver them to my house?

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

The old me is sure making things difficult for the current me.

~ Colleen Hoover

He has his head in the clouds. He must live in a skyscraper.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

His boat sank. They were all on his side.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

You have the chance to remain silent. Everything you say will be misused.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Love is worth dying for, said the spermatozoid.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

I saw an injured black cat. God knows, who has crossed her path.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Some people stride toward a better future. Others have chauffeurs.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

The differences between women are all cosmetic.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

I don't like him. He makes me laugh. It'll wrinkle my face.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Everything is possible, but where can I find everything?!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?

~ Ryan Lilly

Some quotes aren't worth typing.

~ Melanie Kay Taylor

The irony is, nothing is more frightening than being frightened.

~ Neel Burton

The fool's crime is the crime that is found out and the wise man's crime is the crime that is not found out.

~ Wilkie Collins

Dream big!But not so big that it becomes a mess, and you may never reach reality.

~ Hasil Paudyal

The speed felt tremendous. And the bottom of the ravine was treacherous. She ought to control her mount somehow - slow it; steer it to safer footing. Of course. And while she was at it, she ought to defeat the Alend Monarch's army, take care of Master Gilbur and the arch-Imager Vagel, and produce peace on earth. While composing great music with her free hand. Instead of doing all that, however, she concentrated with a pure white intensity that resembled terror on simply staying in the saddle

~ Stephen R. Donaldson

It may well be that we talk about sex more than anything else; we set our minds to the task; we convince ourselves that were have never said enough on the subject...where sex is concerned the most long-winded, the most impatient of societies is our own.

~ Michel Foucault

the weekly thirty minutes of sexual stress was a chronic but low-grade discomfort, like the humidity in Florida

~ Jonathan Franzen

I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper.

~ Amit Kalantri

We were young, she continued, while she had a bad heart. Did we not want to earn our tips, she asked us and, cowed, we refrained from introducing the subject again.Her bad heart, I noticed, did not force her to abstain from smoking, or from eating large portions of puddings. Every time I heard her opening how she could not carry anything heavy, I thought sourly except yourself.

~ Toni Maguire

Sometimes to be a good parent... You have to laugh when you want to be angry. You have to be angry when you want to laugh. And that is why good parenting is tough.

~ Dan Pearce

The streets are silent / The playgrounds are still /The noise has moved elsewhere / Into our homes / Into our hearts / It’s been too long /Children are not where they belong /The streets, the playgrounds and the song /Have been waiting for too long…

~ Daya Kudari

I never take out clients. It’s bad policy.” He looked me straight in the eyes as he said it. Reaching across for the glove compartment, his arm accidentally brushed my leg.

~ Gabrielle Black

Women in love are patheticand I cannot be bothered, for now,I am back to metaphysicsand my armpits gather hair.

~ Mie Hansson

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it. -Andrew Young, author, civil rights activist, US congressman, mayor, and UN ambassador (b. 1932)

~ Andrew Young

A million years ago - some hairy bastard daubed a horse on the wall of his cave, he saw it, he drew it - well done! Flash forward: 'Hello, welcome to my vlog. Today I bought a plum

~ Patrick Marber

Some skeptics believe religious people are religious because they fear Hell. It's about as fair as saying skeptics are skeptics because they fear the ridicule of modern society.

~ Criss Jami

Society tells me to follow my own truth, but I don't let society tell me what to do. If you need someone to tell you that, chances are you're part of the crowd that will move on to the next fashion that comes around.

~ Criss Jami

I feel no grief for being called somethingwhichI am not;in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a goodback rub

~ Charles Bukowski

As soon as you say it about a record, you're like some little zombie in a funny dungeon.

~ Lorde

I gather they are even vaguely pacifist, not on moral grounds but from an ingrained habit of belittling anything that concerns the great mass of their fellow men and from a dash of purely fashionable and literary communism.

~ C.s. Lewis

All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously.

~ Tom Robbins

They thought more before nine a.m. than most people thought all month. I remember once declining cherry pie at dinner, and Rand cocked his head and said, 'Ahh! Iconoclast. Disdains the easy, symbolic patriotism.' And when I tried to laugh it off and said, well, I didn't like cherry cobbler either, Marybeth touched Rand's arm: 'Because of the divorce. All those comfort foods, the desserts a family eats together, those are just bad memories for Nick.' It was silly but incredibly sweet, these people spending so much energy trying to figure me out. The answer: I don't like cherries.

~ Gillian Flynn

Remember to remember: sometimes your adversary is your biggest asset. Where would David be without Goliath? Jesus without Judas?

~ Brandi L. Bates

Thanks,” Johann finally said. “It’s the irony of war. Those who want to live, die. Those who want to die, live on.

~ Lee Strauss

So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient.

~ Nenia Campbell

I no longer follow the voices of the sane. I follow the ill because they see farther, feel much more and change what the sane will not. This is the paradox of philosophers---trying to understand mass delusion among great people that have faith and knowledge, yet they can’t graduate from their institutions of religious theology to apply the knowledge they have gained for the shifting of Zion---- from words to action; from comfort to uncomfortable; from self serving to self giving; from competition to supporting; to tradition to unity; from bias to acceptance; from me to us.

~ Shannon L. Alder

The irony of life is a twisted game; but my god you learn fast, the ins and outs of how to play your part the best you can.

~ Nikki Rowe