Classy Quote logo
  • Home
  • Categories
  • Authors
  • Topics
  • Who said

Funny Quotes Quotes

Funny Quotes quote from classy quote

Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?

~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Fakeer Ishavardas Cynical Humor Funny And Random Funny Humor Funny Quotes Good And Evil Humor Humourous Quote Jokes And Whatever Joking Banter Laughter Quotes Life Quotes And Sayings Love Quotes And Sayings People Relations Philosophical Humor Wellness Evaluation Of Lifestyle

Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Boy Boys Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quotes Life Quotations Life Quote Life Quotes Life Quotes And Sayings Men Quotes Product Woman Quotations Woman Quotes Women Quotes

I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Boss Boyfriend And Girlfriend Boyfriend Quotes Courtship Quotes Dating Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Girlfriend Quotes Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quotes Husband Quotes Life Quotations Life Quote Life Quotes Life Quotes And Sayings Life Quotes Inspirational Quotes Marriage Quotes Relationship Quotes Wedding Quotes Wife Quotes

The fastest way to end an argument with your wife is to admit she’s right.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Anger Quotes Angry Quote Angry Quotes Argument Quotes Boyfriend And Girlfriend Boyfriend Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quotes Girlfriend Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quotes Husband Quotes Life Lesson Quotes Life Lessons Quotes Life Quotations Life Quotes Life Quotes And Sayings Marriage Quotes Relationship 101 Relationship Advice For Men Relationship Advice For Women Relationship Advice Quotes Relationship Quotes Wedding Quotes Wife Quotes

Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Courtship Quotes Dating Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quotes Life Quotations Life Quotes Life Quotes And Sayings Marriage Quotes Relationship Quotes

Am I suggesting that you must feel sorry for divorce lawyers and prepare to pay every penny of their fees? Of course not! You deserve justice, and the lawyer can be lured into delivering said justice at a seriously discounted price!

~ Portia Porter

Portia Porter Funny Quotes Law

If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Boyfriend And Girlfriend Boyfriend Quotes Chore Chores Courtship Quotes Dating Quotes Faith Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Girlfriend Quotes God Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotation Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Husband Quotes Relationship Advice For Men Relationship Advice Quotes Trouble Quotes Wife Quotes

don't just listen to people crying, hear the reasons why they cry

~ Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Ernest Agyemang Yeboah Funny Quotes Happiness Inspirational Quotes Lessons Life Quotes Sorrow Truth

It's like playing the lottery. It doesn't matter how extremely low the chances are of winning. You gotta be in it to win it. Hitting on every girl in sight is like buying a whole lot of lottery tickets. You never know, one day one of them might actually pay off.

~ Oliver Markus

Oliver Markus Dating Flirting Funny Funny But True Funny Quotes Lottery Lottery Tickets Relationships

The walking tour guides one through the city's various landmarks, reciting bits of information the listener might find enlightening. I learned, for example, that in the late 1500s my little neighborhood square was a popular spot for burning people alive. Now lined with a row of small shops, the tradition continues, though in a figurative rather than literal sense.

~ David Sedaris

David Sedaris Capitalism David Sedaris France Funny Quotes Humor Satire

If you drink anymore, you're going to be positively flammable.

~ Michaela Haze

Michaela Haze Alcohol Alcoholic Alcoholism Booze Comedy Comedy Humor Funny Quotes

OTHER lives may find their happiest moments infiltrated with tragedy, and their proudest touched with comedy. This had almost invariably been true of mine. My proudest hour found me, the newly elected president of the United Nations, perched atop three thick New York City telephone books given me in lieu of a cushion that I might see and be seen by the delegates below the podium.

~ Carlos P. Romulo

Carlos P. Romulo Comedy Funny Quotes Moments Quotes Tragedy

Even as zombies, ridiculous prom gowns were the downfall of teenage girls, crippling them at the knees.

~ G.g. Silverman

G.g. Silverman Comedy Feminist Funny Funny Book Quotes Funny Quotes Humor Zombies

Displacement of 'What goes around, comes around' is Zero.

~ Gaurav Rao

Gaurav Rao Comedy Displacement Funny Quotes Humor Humour Quotes Science Witty

After your daily bread, if you ask God for anything, ask 'him' to make you right in the head.

~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Fakeer Ishavardas Funny Humor Funny Quotes Good And Evil Good Thoughts Goodness Inspirational Humour Life Meditation Quotes Prayer Quotes Religion Spirituality Spiritual Development Spiritual Life Wellness Guru Wellness Quotes

Dogs are angels full of poop.

~ Oliver Gaspirtz

Oliver Gaspirtz Angels Angels In Disguise Animals Animals Love Dogs Dogs And Humans Funny Funny And Random Funny Book Quotes Funny But True Funny Humor Funny Quotes Pets Poop Pooping

I swear I've good morals. It's just that bad ones befriend me. I'm a friendly person, you know. But I will talk to them. Believe you me.

~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Fakeer Ishavardas Crazy Quotes Friendship Quotes Funny Humor Funny Quotes Goodness Quotes Humour Life Jokes And Whatever Laughter Is The Best Medicine Lifestyle Quotes Nutty As A Fruitcake

Women KNOW, we just know. Even if we didn't know, we would know. Men won't get this, but women will..because we KNOW

~ Karen Gibbs

Karen Gibbs Funny Quotes Sarcasm Women And Men

If you are reading this, I'm dead. Don't celebrate too much. Jesus is watching.

~ Katie Graykowski

Katie Graykowski Death Funny Funny Quotes Humor Letters Romance Romantic Comedy Sarcasm

Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all. -Crash

~ Hazel Blackthorn

Hazel Blackthorn Funny Quotes Sarcasm Sarcasm Humor

I'm transferring Ian down to New Orleans to assist with this,” Arch said as he looked at both men. “I would send Shayne, but Anna won't let him go anywhere without her. They're still in the honeymoon phase.” He made a quote motion with his fingers. Peter and Vincent exchanged horrified looks, before Peter responded. “Please, don't put us through that torture.

~ Rose Wynters

Rose Wynters Funny Quotes Humor Sarcasm

Well, I did tell you I couldn’t give you a thing. Maybe you’ve just realised that Alistair can give the god damn world, and the pleasure of kissing his shiny slap-head every day!

~ Leeann Whitaker

Leeann Whitaker Funny Quotes Never Another You Romance Book Quotes Romance Novels Romantic Humor

I mean emotionally, women are like Bruce Lee and we’re like Donald Duck. An’ I think a lotta guys are afraid of that.

~ Jonathan Ashworth

Jonathan Ashworth Funny Funny Quotes Humor Satire

I have great respect for you - once you are dead, and gone

~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Fakeer Ishavardas Funny Humor Funny Quotes Good Humour Jokes And Whatever Satirical Humor Quotes Writing Life

As I reflect on all my friends and colleagues in my life on this special occasion... Mother is only half the word that immediately comes to mind.

~ Mark W Boyer

Mark W Boyer Entertaining Funny Quotes Humorous Quotes Mothers Mothers Day

I made a noise of disgust, and I think I would have stormed out if I knew how to open the door.

~ Ash Gray

Ash Gray Funny Quotes Humor Humorous Quotes

I get a kick out of cursing people for life on Sundays.

~ Emily Kirby

Emily Kirby Funny Quotes Horror Fantasy Humorous Quotes Muse Muses

A mother’s eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Baby Quotes Child Quote Child Quotes Children Quotes Family Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quotes God Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Mom Quotes Mother Quotes Motherhood Humor Motherhood Quotes Omniscience Omniscient Quote Parenting Quotes See Quotes

Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you’re right.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Forgive Quotes Forgiveness Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quotes Husband Quotes Marriage Quotes Relationship Advice For Men Relationship Advice Quotes Relationship Quotes Wedding Quotes Wife Quotes Woman Quotations Woman Quotes

Two things are infinite, a woman’s patience and her husband’s mistakes.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Husband Quotes Infinite Quotes Marriage Quotes Mistake Quotes Patience Quotes Patient Quotes Relationship Advice For Men Relationship Advice For Women Relationship Advice Quotes Relationship Quotes Woman Quotations Woman Quotes

The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Girl Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Party Pretty Quote Woman Quotations Woman Quotes

Women make the world go round, men turn it upside down.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quotes Man Quotes Men Quotes Woman Quotations Woman Quotes Women Quotes World Quotes

She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Dinner Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotation Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Husband Quotes Joke Lazy Quotes Marriage Quotes Relationship Quotes Wife Quotes

Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Box Boxers Fight Quotes Fist Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Punch Women Quotes

When I was young, I believed God was a woman because I couldn't come up with any other explanation as to why the universe was so tidy.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Funny Quotations Funny Quotes God Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quotes Universe Quotations Universe Quotes Woman Quotations Woman Quotes

A man who boasts he's the head of the home must never forget the woman is the knife at his throat.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Boyfriend Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Girlfriend Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quotes Husband Quotes Relationship Quotes Relationships Quotes Wedding Quotes Wife Quotes

I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.

~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Fakeer Ishavardas Funny And Random Funny Quotes Humorous Quotes Humour Life Jokes And Whatever

You have heard about the reindeer that pull old Santa's sled. But mostly I hate Rudolph and wish that he were dead. With his nose of red which we all know just can't be true. I wish someone would just kill him, that someone could be you. He is Santa's favorite and to the front he can be found. Instead of his red nose, I think it should be brown. He believes that Santa likes him and thinks that he's a winner. But Santa Claus has other plans he wants Rudolph for his dinner. Old Saint Nick is greedy this I know without a doubt. What else do you think happens to all the great toys we go without?He takes them and he breaks them be cause he doesn't care a bit. To me it doesn't matter, Why, he can keep his Schict.Yes' it's true that I hate Santa too, dressed in his suit of silk. That's why this year with the homemade cookies, I'm going to leave some poison milk.

~ Mark W. Boyer

Mark W. Boyer Christmas Funny And Random Funny Quotes Humorous Quotes Santa Claus

I swear by the self-assurance with which elderly men sitting in public tilt sideways to allow the gas to escape loudly.

~ Pawan Mishra

Pawan Mishra Fart Flatulence Funny Quotes Humorous Quotes Self Assurance Swearing

She was called a cook, but there was no real evidence she had even a small amount of ability to do this. Every meal, no matter how much you thought you liked it before, would be ruined forever after having one of Margery’s slop versions of it. Burger and Chips or Lasagne, as Mike liked, were gruesomely murdered by the time Margery had used the ingredients (and added some special ones of her own!) to deliver a pile of gruel. It did not matter what the menu said; when served, it was always green, even if none of the ingredients were actually green!“Nexxxttt! Hey, you, I said NEXXTT!!!” she shouted at the violet boy who had hesitated to wonder if life was really worth this. “What’s your name, boy? Speak up now and tell me which class you are in?” This was a usual evil method Margery used so children had to give up holding their breath and smell the putrid stench of her sweaty BO mixed with the green muck she scooped from a giant vat beside her. The poor boy nearly passed out when it hit him, but, fortunately, his friend helped him stay up. He quickly grabbed his tray and sloshed his green slush all over as he ran for freedom. NNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXTTTTTTT!!!

~ L.p. Donnelli

L.p. Donnelli Funny Quotes Humorous Quotes School Cook School Meals School System Schools
Load More classy quote icon
  • Classy Quote

    ClassyQuote has been providing 500000+ famous quotes from 40000+ popular authors to our worldwide community.

  • Other Pages

    • About Us
    • Contact Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
  • Our Products

    • Chrome Extention
    • Microsoft Edge Add-on
  • Follow Us

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
Copyright © 2025 ClassyQuote. All rights reserved.