Jokes Quotes

Being bigheaded can be as irritating and as dangerous as being small-minded.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of genitals they have.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The fact that you have just buried your parent or parents and/or sibling or siblings does not make you less likely to die today.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The only real reason that some relationships and marriages have not yet been ended is because in each case one of the partners has not yet found their ideal partner or someone they love or at least like.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people’s self-esteem was secretly improved when they discovered that their then-lovers had killed themselves over them.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

To increase the chances of a writer trying to kill themselves, cut off their hands.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people wish they were as happy as or happy like some people think they are.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Death would be an extremely bad thing like most of us paint it, if being dead were painful.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

After a certain point, all natural bodily changes are for the worst.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some people love but will never marry each other. Some are married to but have never loved and will never love each other.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Unless it is you, finding out who your lover’s dream lover is is a nightmare.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

If we had to earn our age by thinking for ourselves at least once a year, only a handful of people would reach adulthood.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Nothing humbles a beautiful woman better than not being wanted by a man whose girlfriend or wife is ugly (or not as beautiful as she is).

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

To evade insanity and depression, we unconsciously limit the number of people toward whom we are sincerely sympathetic.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The answer to the question ‘How many children do you have?’ and the one to the question ‘How many children are you raising?’ are not identical in all cases: some men are not taking care of their own children, some are knowingly or unknowingly raising other men’s children, and some do not even know that they each have a child, another child, or other children.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

More people would be depressed, if parents tried to please their children as frequently and as badly as children try to please their parents.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some men are so indoctrinated that they sincerely believe that other than cooking and cleaning the only thing that a woman can do better than them is being a woman.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Taking good care of your husband or wife is the best way to thank their parent or parents for having taken good care of them.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only because she likes men like him.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Many a woman would not be in a relationship with or married to her man, if he earned half of what he earns; and many a man would not be in a relationship with or married to his woman, if he earned twice as much as he earns.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Had a cold hummus with pita bread, Under a delicious food, yellow or red. Might just have the appetite to cook Urgent dinner by hook or crook.So that's just a humus humor spread.

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Not everyone who has killed themselves because they were HIV positive would have been killed by AIDS.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Whether it is big or small, the size of a poor man’s yard incessantly reminds him that he is poor.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Being HIV positive doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to die before each and every person who is HIV negative.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

All I have is me, myself and I and we are all getting really tired of each other.

~ Carl R White

We human beings regard ourselves as (or compare ourselves to) animals only when it suits us.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some women wear a miniskirt to reveal their thighs, some wear one to conceal their age.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

What did the soup say to the tea plate? You're too shallow for me. I like deep dish to dip right into! I still keep my British humour in good taste. No room for egos or rumours.

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

DESDEMONACome, how wouldst thou praise me? IAGO I am about it; but indeed my invention Comes from my pate as birdlime does from frieze; It plucks out brains and all: but my Muse labours, And thus she is deliver'd. If she be fair and wise, fairness and wit, The one's for use, the other useth it. DESDEMONA Well praised! How if she be black and witty? IAGO If she be black, and thereto have a wit, She'll find a white that shall her blackness fit. DESDEMONA Worse and worse. EMILIA How if fair and foolish? IAGO She never yet was foolish that was fair; For even her folly help'd her to an heir. DESDEMONA These are old fond paradoxes to make fools laugh i' the alehouse. What miserable praise hast thou for her that's foul and foolish? IAGO There's none so foul and foolish thereunto, But does foul pranks which fair and wise ones do.

~ William Shakespeare

. Despite the considerable horror they had felt when the SA men were bellowing crude anti-Semitic slogans, in retrospect the joke-tellers were very much aware of the boycott’s inherent absurdity:A city on the Rhine during the boycott: SA men stand in front of Jewish businesses and “warn” passers-by against entering them. Nonetheless, a woman tries to go into a knitting shop.An SA man stops her and says, “Hey, you. Stay outside. That’s a Jewish shop!”“So?” replies the woman. “I’m Jewish myself.”The SA man pushes her back. “Anyone can say that!

~ Rudolph Herzog

The historian Meike Wöhlert has analyzed and compared the judgments rendered by courts responsible for malicious acts of treason in five cities. Although her research only deals with registered cases and not unofficial ones, the results suggest that the telling of political jokes was a mass phenomenon beyond state control. In 61 percent of official cases, joke-tellers were let off with a warning, alcohol consumption often being cited as an extenuating circumstance. (People who had had one too many in bars were considered only partially responsible for their actions, and because most of the popular jokes that made it to court had been told in bars, the verdicts were accordingly lenient.)

~ Rudolph Herzog

The historical record contradicts the assumption that the Nazis sentenced large numbers of people to death during World War II for telling jokes. In the final phase of the Third Reich, some cases did receive capital sentences, but they were extreme exceptions to the rule. (We will return to them later.) The compilations of jokes that circulated in Germany after the war bore titles like Deadly Laughter and When Laughter Was Dangerous, but there is not much evidence that the jokes they contained were inevitably risky for the teller.

~ Rudolph Herzog

Finally, my watchers had to fess up. In embarrassed and genuinely polite tones, they said they had no other choice but to arrest me. Then they accompanied me to the prison across the way. As I entered, an extremely tall SS man leapt in front of me and asked: “Do you have any weapons?” “Why?” I responded. “Do I need any?

~ Rudolph Herzog